Hello world I am back. It’s nearly show week, so here is what I’ve been up to in preparation for the show: Monday: You’ve guessed it, I was back at work. Considering I was asleep by 0:15am and had to be up for 5am, I amazed myself by getting through the shift. And after a quick shop (with one of the products being out of date but I bought it anyway as it still looks okay, but I will bring it up with one of my colleagues) I went for my usual nap. I got up 30 minutes later but I handled it really well. Usually I would slip if changes happen in my routine but I knew my body needed it, so it was a good job I had rested.
I then took my dog for a walk whilst having some dinner before getting ready for rehearsals. I had to change bags for rehearsals as my water leaked into my other one, but thankfully Winnie the Pooh was on hand, so I used my bag I bought for the show to take my makeup with me.
The rehearsal itself went well, as we recapped who was setting/striking what after the stage manager can't do the show due to illness, but we recapped on a few scenes. These were the opening number, the breakfast scene (which we did a few times but we got there eventually), and the closing number of Act 1. I also watched other numbers by my fellow cast members and I know that they will smash theirs on the night.
During the rehearsal, we also showed the director our costumes we will be wearing. He was impressed, but advised I'd swap two of them, as one of them makes me look older than my age. I was abit hesitant but then again I had to trust his decision, and after approval from the costume department, I definitely felt more settled. I also asked about accessories, and with them coming on Friday, I have officially everything sorted.
During the notes I had to sneak off. I knew I shouldn't but with a train to catch, I didn't want to miss it, but I got back home safe and sound. Despite a delay due to a failure at the front of the train, I had a relaxing journey home whilst listening to a Steven Bartlett podcast, and it gave me some thought on if I should stay for a drink after the final show. Even though it'll be good to have one drink, I don't want to make my lift stay for too long and also thinking about my sensory needs, as I know I get tired more easily. So I made the decision to see if my lift who has brought me back a few times, is staying for a drink and for how long. But if he's not staying or not having more than one drink, I'll get my lift to take me back. As we have the gathering for later in August.
Tuesday: Tuesdays were very different for me. Normally I go to my class on Tuesdays, but with show week coming up and that I needed to rest my body as much as I can, I decided not to go, so that I have everything ready for show week. I did feel guilty about not attending it but I know that as it's show week coming up, I needed to rest my body as and when I can in order to give the best performance.
To start off this morning, there was supposed to be a new washing machine fitted in. But they had to take it back as if that goes out, the dishwasher would need to come out. And with a possibility of not getting the dishwasher to work as good as it used to do when fitted back in, should it be taken out, they didn't want to take that chance. So for now I would need to rely on my relatives for washing my uniform and other clothes.
On a lighter note I managed to save a Bee's life. I noticed it on the floor and saw it was not moving. So I put some water mixed in with sugar, and 30 minutes later it was gone. I wasn't sure what it meant, but I feel I have just saves an animals life.
Later on after my usual routine of walking the dog and doing some yoga, I then moved onto applying for some jobs on Mandy and Spotlight. I noticed that one had to be in on this day, but it required a self tape. Thankfully I had footage from previous shows and auditions for this tape, and recorded a bit of song as part of the process. It was a one take wonder for the song, so I'm hoping that this along with my other footage would at least get me noticed.
Soon afterwards, I looked at the routines and songs for the show in preparation for the dress rehearsal on Friday and Sunday. Ngl, it was knackering. But it was also useful as it gave me moments to take a breath before I carried on. As long as I spent at least 30 minutes on recapping the songs and movement (as I have about another million things to do and my day job before the weekend), I know it'll be enough.
I then moved onto messaging my friends about the Peaky Blinders escape room, which I'm planning to set for August. Two of them seemed on board with it, so as soon as I hear back from my final friend, then I can book it in ASAP. It'll also be nice as it gives them a chance to wind down after filming a feature film they're in, but also one of them is going to Canada in September for a year, so it'll be nice to see them before they go.
A little bit later I spent some time editing this blog, and drafted out some reviews of some tv shows and musicals I watched to post onto my social media platforms at some point this week. Stay tuned for a full review of Blood Brothers which I saw the week before very soon after I've finished Salad Days.
I ended the day with something different. I finished watching Malpractice, directed by Phil Barantini and casted by Daniel Edwards, which featured a member of The Actors Workshop Nottingham. I won’t give too much away, but let’s just say I wanted more from the ending. And I shall leave it at that.
I then decided to watch Newsies: The Broadway Musical, in order to help me get in the zone for show week. I’m about 3 quarters of the way up to now and it’s safe to say I wish I watched it in London when I had the chance. But then again I knew I couldn’t see everything, and with the rising cost of living crisis, getting a ticket makes it seem even more impossible without planning. However, having a show to watch from the comfort of your own home was just as beneficial and I can’t wait to finish watching it.
Wednesday: Wednesday was another productive day.
I started this day by watching more of Newsies: The Broadway Musical, which was a perfect way to get me going. Then as always I walked the dog and went to the gym, listening to my harmonies of songs for the show, just so I can keep the momentum in my head. My aim is to not do it as much during show week as yes I need to keep the ball rolling, but I don't want to overwhelm myself, as the chances are I will carry it with me throughout the show. The gym session then ended with my grandad having to pick me up, as it was chucking it down with rain. He even said himself that even if I had my umbrella, I would've still needed a lift back. So at least I didn't feel bad for making him pick me up.
After a wonderful shower and a fresh change of clothes, I then hopped on another Act On This Podcast, where Ross interviewed a director called Azhur Saleem. He is a director famous for directing shows like "Doctor Who", "Anansi Boys" (which starred Whoopi Goldberg), and upcoming drama "After the Flood" (which Ross Grant is in, so I'll definitely keep an eye out for that). His story was so inspiring, as at some point in his career, he fell out of love for directing, but by going back to the basics, he found his love again. I think that's the beauty with this industry, and that is that sometimes taking a step back, and going back to the simplest things can see if your passion lies there. He also mentioned how he had to work at a apple store during his career, which for me felt inspiring. As I'm still at my supermarket day job, and I don't have the financial stability to cut my hours at the moment. But I know that day will come, so for now I am working hard with every spare minute I have so that when I do have the financial stability to quit or even leave my day job, I'll be in the right headspace.
During my lunch break, I started watching "Without Sin", a drama starring Vicky McClure. This was also set in Nottingham, where they were wanting members from The Actors Workshop Nottingham as extras. I was wanting to be a part of it, but due to me catching covid and restrictions being tight, I was unable to. But I was glad I got to watch the first episode of this incredible show, and I won't reveal too much, but lets just say that I can't wait to see what the series unfolds.
The afternoon consisted of applying for the National Youth Theatre Stepping Up and Playing Up company, where it is essentially like Drama School training, but condensed into under a year. It may mean spending alot of money, and I'll be honest, I'm not even sure if I'm ready for something like this, but sometimes you need to feel the fear and do it anyway.
I also spent half an hour recording myself contacting the creatives about the project, one of which is in the show with me. I made it clear to them that once the show is over, and we have an extra week to relax and get back into a routine, we can get started. I even sent a message to a comedian who was runner up on Britain's Got Talent in 2018, and I feel he would be the perfect addition to the project. And it would gain some huge attraction as well.
Once I contacted my creatives, I edited my blog for the week before and this week. I even got started to draft my reviews of Winnie The Pooh, Kinky Boots (Which I haven't started but I set out a template) and Blood Brothers (which will be coming to you very soon). Despite not getting them done before show week, I made a start. I simply wrote what I thought, and then all I need to do is refine it and add the photos I took.
The next job I did was gathered some potential day player roles and timecodes of scenes they have. Normally I would photograph them but I'm slightly conscious of storage on my phone. So I simply named the time codes so that when I watch it on catch up (providing it's still there), I know which point to look at. I also noted the day player roles so that if the agent I'm thinking of signing onto doesn't work out, then I'll have some other options.
I then ended the day with me and my dad watching a weeks worth of Coronation Street, even though we're still far behind but it's better than nothing, and learnt some more Korean and French. A perfect way to end the day.
Thursday: I started the day by going to my final gym session before the show. This was a challenging session, as I know I had other jobs to do before the show. But sometimes it’s good to do the things you don’t want to do, so I pushed through and had a sweaty yet brilliant session. I also finished a podcast with Steven Bartlett interviewing Jack Whitehall, and listening to him again has made me realise I seriously need to get back into the swing of listening to him regularly.
When I got back home I cooked a delicious stir fry which I would have when I come back from work. I did have other jobs to do, and most of them I completed, but I'll admit, my head did feel a bit scrambled after not knowing which order to put them in. But I remembered that I needed to stop, take a breath and take one thing at a time. As this time last year I ended up having a panic attack by taking on board too much. These included emailing companies I found on Spotlight, and emailing more Casting Directors, one of which was Jonny Boutwood. Fingers crossed I can get on his radar, as he may be coming in for a masterclass with The Actors Workshop Nottingham.
I then headed out to work, but not before I got the last of my show week goodies. I was slightly conscious of my budget, but I just put them into acting essentials, as lets face it, white chocolate cookies and fizzy sweets are so needed for shows. I was also going to get donuts as my show week goodies, but then I decided not to as not only am I cautious on my budget, but I feel after looking at my stash I have enough to last me a lifetime. But I'll also make sure I take my vitamins and minerals, especially bananas, as they have potassium in, creating long lasting energy.
I also managed to complete some training whilst I was at work, but for some reason due to the computer not working, one of them didn't say complete even though I did complete it. So I decided to leave it when it came to the end of my shift.
When I came home, I ended the day with watching the rest of Newsies whilst eating my stir fry (which was yummy), and also learnt some more Korean and French. After starting a new topic on Korean and loosing all of my lives on the first level, I definitely have a new goal after show week... focus on Korean and French.
Friday: Friday was a challenging day. With the show being a close, and me being on my time of the month very soon (and ladies, you’ll know what I mean by that), things got too much for me. However, after tucking into some fish and chips with a chocolate éclair for pudding, I felt a million times better.
During the afternoon part of my shift, I saw the musician who contacted me before. We tried to have a chat but I think both of us felt a little bit nervous around each other. Believe me, I felt like a new born baby animal trying to stand for the first time. He then messaged me back later saying I was beautiful. Whilst I was flattered by the compliment, I wasn’t sure how to take it. As he mentioned he had a girlfriend before but whether they’d split is another question. But then again maybe he wanted to spread some positivity, as with inflation happening and starting to affect people like myself more then ever, it’s words like those that can put a smile on everyone’s faces.
I then went to my rehearsal for Salad Days, and it went really well. Despite a few missed lines and feeling on edge after a talk at the start about what to look out for on each night, it went really well. It definitely took the edge off after a stressful day, as I firmly believe once again that laughter is the best medicine and that music is good for the soul. I’ve also been making little snippets for a vlog I’m posting onto my YouTube channel. I’ve decided to do one vlog for the dress run and then another one for show week.
Saturday: Saturday was a day of getting some last minute jobs done before a big week of performing.
I had a wonderful lie in where even though I woke up at 8am, I didn't get out of bed until 10am. This was well needed as this was my last chance to rest up ready for show week.
Soon afterwards I cleared some storage from my google drive, phone and laptop which I knew I wasn't going to need. Even though there were more stuff to clear out, I was satisfied by what I achieved, as they say "a clear mind is happy mind." After updating my budget for the month (where it was an expensive one and I had to take out some of my savings), I decided to spend the rest of the morning and my lunch watching "A Star is Born", the 2018 version, starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. I'm about 3 1/2 of the way so far and I'm loving every minute. Not only does it tell a beautiful love story, but in a way it does also highlight that there are some people out there who are more interested in looks than their talents. Whilst I agree you need to look presentable when performing something or working on your specialty, talent is the most important part. And this film really highlights it, especially with Lady Gaga's character Ally.
I spent the afternoon as usual with my creative self care Saturdays, where I’ve finally completed the first draft of another one of my stories. This was only a template, so that when I finish show week I can refine it slightly. I do have some ideas in my head, but the chances of remembering them after show week will be very slim. But that’s where improvisation comes in, as you can simply write the first thing that comes into your head. I then also read abit more of Tom Parker’s biography and adjusted my weeks ahead. As I booked myself a slot the day after the show to answer 25 questions for 10 minutes where I would be rewarded £50. Initially I was going to turn it down, but as well as needing the money, I decided it was a chance to step out of my comfort zone and put my improvisation skills to the test.
I then ended the day with watching "Ruby Speaking" (where episode 3 wasn’t as good as episode 2, but I was willing to watch the rest of the series), "Hollyoaks" (where it was the start of a huge storyline for John-Paul) and "Gogglebox".
Sunday: Sunday was the final day of the dress rehearsals before opening night. Today proved that if you have a small setback, you can come back stronger.
Don’t know what I mean? Let me explain. In the opening number, I thought I was going to pass out. As my heart started pounding, my legs felt weird, but when the music became more upbeat, I felt so much better. Thankfully I told my fellow actors a few moments into the show. They were very supportive and thankfully they didn’t notice. I even managed to get through my dialogue with my characters love interest, and later on in the main scene for character which was the dress shop scene. Mind you I firmly believe that music is good for the soul, and that laughter is the best medicine. I feel the reason I was on panicking on stage was partly due to overthinking, as I’m a massive overthinker, and also maybe because I didn’t have enough food, even though I had a sandwich, crisps and flapjack. Who knows. But all I know is if when I go and relax, listen to some positive music (which I did on the last rehearsal on Friday) I’ll smash the opening night.
I got some very useful notes, but I had to leave during them, as I didn’t want to miss my train. Thankfully after messaging the director the day before he knew I would need to get going. I then spent the rest of the evening learning Korean on the way down, and watching the rest of "A Star Is Born" and "Hollyoaks". I then watched an episode of Coronation Street with my dad, but we only had to get through 1 due to my dad feeling tired. I personally wanted to watch more but because he’s got a long day the next day, I’d allow it.
Before I went to bed, I messaged a friend from an acting community about what she does in between shows. It’s definitely helped me gain a positive mindset ready to take on the week ahead. And for that I’ll be ever so grateful for it.
What have I learnt this week? Two things. Nerves and excitement are the same thing, but it’s how you label/see them going forward. And that overthinking and worrying won’t change anything. You just need to remain, calm, positive and happy and good things will come your way.
See you soon for another blog. And until next time…
This is the Autistic Actress signing off
Comments