Hello world! Welcome back to another blog! As we come into the final week before half term, it's clear that it has been jam packed, where it has been a mixture of filming and supporting others in what they love. So here is what I got up to between 5th-11th February 2024!
Monday: To clock off the week I watched abit of Love Island Allstars. I’ll be honest, I only wanted to watch it for the drama, as that’s where it gets the most interesting. And all the secrets were spilling, and that you never know what will be shown on camera. I then made my way to work, where I once again practiced my sketch and my song. I feel I did a good job on it, and I’m getting more and more confident with my performances. But when it came to the shop opening was very slow. But Mondays are like it as it is, and as long as I remind myself that this job isn’t forever, then I can push through that barrier. But during my shift I got a message from a parent of one of my actors in my film, who mentioned that their son has been inundated with auditions since he was told to take his autism off of his profile. And he wasn’t the only one who did that. I didn’t know what to feel at that point, as yes it was good that they were getting more jobs, but the fact that they had to take away a part of their life that shows their USP is just mind blowing. And yet I see casting posts of creatives looking for people who are authentically disabled, deaf etc. maybe it’s still the lack of awareness that this industry is facing, and after Steve mentioned about doing a video following on from that, that’s something I’d be intrigued to look at.
After coming back and walking my dog and having a much needed nap, I then watched the first half of Vigil whilst I had my lunch. And it got suspense to say the least, with Kirsten nearly risking her life and Eliza not being the person she says she is. I can’t wait to see the rest of it later on. During the day I also got an email from a colleague of the casting director who contacted me to suggest moving the meeting to a later date. Yes it was a drawback but honestly I don’t mind. As with my film being in the edit and also getting everything ready for my weekend away in London they were my main priority.
The afternoon then continued as I applied for autism acceptance week and filmed some bits for my Valentine’s Day sketch. This included the dance to celebrate loving myself and sootys antics. I wasn’t sure if it was good at first, but after looking back I’m quite proud of my achievement. I’m not sure if I need to refilm it because of the background but the performance was actually really good. But come the weekend and the edit I’ll make the final decision just so I’m not overwhelmed.
To finish off the afternoon I rehearsed my song for the audition, as I was going to film it but I felt I needed more practice and make a decision on which version I should go for. This then moved onto some yoga which yes I was off schedule, but I kept my cool and did the session, which felt amazing doing so.
To kick off the evening, I watched the rest of Vigil. What a series it was! And I tell you something, Amy may have risked her career, but it has certainly paid off, and that Eliza Russell and Marcus grainger got the punishment they deserve. I had my suspicions about Marcus but not Eliza, but that’s what made it a good drama as you expect the unexpected.
Soon after I watched episodes 3 and 4 of Waterloo Road. And I have a lot to say on both of them. I knew that shola didn’t mean to get the outcome over Mike, but I know that school has to follow protocols, even if it doesn’t agree with some of the teachers. And I think that Libby is more trouble than she realises, and I think that maybe she wants to do it for attention. It’s one of those things with people who feel neglected, as if they get attention then that’s all they need. I also hope that Andrew isn’t lying to Kim about his admission, as if he is then I will not be happy. I also feel so sorry for Kelly Jo, as yes even though her day she had contained a setback, I do feel what it’s like when people don’t understand you and that as soon as something feels good it all gets ruined. I’ve been feeling that for a while recently, and I can empathise with her on that. But the way Dean reacted over her secret was horrible, but I know she’ll get all the help and support she needs. And finally I think do the and Nicky would make a brilliant couple, as they get the pressures of being a single parent. I’m not sure what Izzy and Tonya would make of it, but I’m sure they’ll come to terms with it eventually.
Just before I went to bed I watched the first half of episode 2 of After The Flood . I’m slowly starting to get suspicious on the killer, and it was also nice to see an appearance from Ross Grant himself as seen above. Nice job Ross! I then checked my socials and did a few sessions of Korean. Whilst I checked my socials I saw something about an online event. And there’s a part of me that’s wants to sign up, but as he’s a choreographer in theatre, I’m not sure if it’s tailored specifically for theatre. So the next day I’ll simply message him with the question and see what happens.
Tuesday: Watched the rest of After The Flood. Even though I’m glad that Tasha is not going to tell everyone Jo's secret, it did surprise me on when she met with lee, the man from the first episode who saved a woman and her baby. This was then followed by me going to the gym. On the way there and back I managed to get a few things for, one being finishing drafting my three latest tv reviews now that vigil is finished and also rehearsing my lines for my sketch. So overall a productive morning indeed.
When I got back I did a mixture of things. I wasn’t fully on schedule due to situations beyond my control, so I simply worked around what I did. This included drafting out some emails to more creatives to send on Thursday before my day job and applying for some more jobs on Mandy. This was then followed by some of the answers session on act on this, which included Ross’ secrets to how to make your on screen partner look good and also his kit list for his voiceover home studio. So far very informative and I can’t wait to listen to the rest.
After I had some lunch and watched the start of The Masked Singer, I filmed the talky moments of my valentines sketch. I feel that I did well as yes I was off schedule to get it started but it only took me a few minutes to get what I need. I didn’t go full throttle on this one due to the camera being close to my face, but I think once I relaxed and felt no pressure I felt as though I can enjoy it more. Now it’s the gruelling task of filming the last bit which includes the American accent. Will it be perfect? Probably not. Will I give it a go? Absolutely! As then if someone does say that it needs work then that’s what I’ll intend to do. this then moved onto a quick survey and updating my budgeting table.
I the afternoon, I had a chat with Steve Watson about the film. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t calm, but he said to me himself that this process is the most challenging part. He also said that I need to calm as i the event we don’t make the royal television society, there’s always next year. Whilst I do agree with that and that everyone has a life outside of this film, I still want to achieve that goal. I’m not sure if it was to prove a point or make up for lost time, but in the event it doesn’t happen it would be frustrating yes but it’s how I deal with it that’s the key part. As sometimes you need to get rid of the good to make way for the great
To let off some steam after the co conversation, I did some Zumba style dance classes. I’ll admit I still has a lot of work to do, especially working towards a career of theatre, but sometimes you do need to start badly in order to be good at it. I then went through the recording of my tape from star struck in a previous class. This is for when I come back from London and if my scene partner is free help me record it for my socials. I’ll also ask her if she can help me with a tape from Alice in wonderland for world book day, as it’s a door which I feel suits me as an actor but I love the passion she has to break society’s norms.
To settle into the evening I played some darts with my dad. And do you know what, it felt pretty good. As mentioned before one of my other passions outside of acting is darts, and there’s something about throwing things which is a good feeling. We even had a battle to see if we could hit a certain double, and we were close but yet so far. But all I can say is practice makes perfect.
This then moved onto watching the rest of the quarter finals of The Masked Singer. It was brilliant to see Lenny Henry as a former performer and additional panel member. The rebels were also emotional for Divina as even though I didn’t know the celebrity, I can see how much it meant to her. And with the second celebrity, without giving away any secrets, her voice was a sweet melody.
I then moved onto watching the first 3 quarters of episode 2 of series 2 of Trigger Point. And already it’s getting twists tapes and shocks, and there is clearly still a connection between Lana and Thom. But after seeing some spoilers in future episodes I fear that their happiness is about to be short lived. I then of course checked my socials and learnt some more Korean and French to help me relax into the evening, and it was a quick session as well.
Wednesdays: I watched the rest of Trigger Point. I never really understood why the gentleman refused to leave. Maybe he was someone who is actually a villain and may be a big part of the case. Either way it was very suspicious. As always I then made my way to the gym where it was an upper body day. Once again on the way there and back I managed to rehearse the last part of my sketch and also the song for my audition. I even managed to draft some more emails to casting directors and creatives so that by the next day before going to my day job all I need to do is click send.
I was abit late coming home which did leave me off schedule. But despite this I managed to get what I was going to do done. And that was completing the rest of my sketch, taking note of each take on every lines I like so that when it comes to the edit I’ll look is which one to add in. And after walking my dog I recorded my song. I decided to take the risk and go with the female version, but only the first couple of months so I can post it on my socials. And I felt proud of myself, as yes I still have a lot of work to do, but if someone asked me to sing a song to post 5 years ago I would immediately say no. But this just shows how far I’ve grown in confidence, and I think since doing Salad Days it’s unleashed a new part of me which I think I quite like.
Before my lunch I received a message on my blog on how someone was autistic and looking at working to be an actor. They also mentioned how they admired my honesty on the highs and lows, which for me was so thoughtful. If my blog helps one person then that’s all that matters, and anyone else that reaches out is a bonus. I then watched Mondays addition of Doctors whilst I had my lunch. This one focused on Nina helping a patient who won’t accept that her body may need more support than it needs. And after initially declining it, I feel the affect it’s had on her niece may give her the wake up call she needed. And I wonder why suni was being off when Scarlett’s friend needed some help. Maybe it was to do with the poster of Harry he saw in the last episode. If it is I’m intrigued to see the connection it has with Suni.
The afternoon consisted of me doing a few surveys and listening to more of the Act On This answers session. Normally I don’t do this due to getting some rest before class, but because of my weekend in London next week, I need to get through this one step at a time. And as I’m writing this I have 50 minutes left so I’ll watch the rest before I go to my day job tomorrow. I also got a new outlook on my day job, as they talked about hustling to get out of it, which led to Ross’ side hustle and the act on this community itself. This made me appreciate my day job more as yes the long term goal is a life that flexible personally, professionally and financially. But having an income makes me more grateful given what’s happening in the world at the moment.
I then read some more of “Live Well Everyday”. I only had 15 minutes of reading time due to looking through the podcast, but I managed to get a good read in there. This then led to learning some French, and I’m proud of how much I’ve got done. I then gathered some more day player roles and scenes from a mixture of the soaps. And as I’m writing this I’m nearly up to date with all of them. Come the weekend and I’ll have fingers crossed be up to date with who played what in the soaps.
After playing some more darts and walking my dog (where I got a treble 19), I watched Tuesdays addition of Doctors. This one had a mixture of scenarios, with Sid bumping into Harry, the imposter doctor. This then led to Jimmi finally trying to see some sense into him, but judging from the phone call hardy had earlier I feel that he’s doing it for a more sinister reason. This episode also saw Ruhma meet Sian, her old boss after she noticed her state of mind. Mind you with the pressure of not enough staff and trying to make sure everyone is okay, I can see why Sian was the way she was. And my guess is, it’s the same for some of the staff in our NHS, particularly during the pandemic. But I know Ruhma will be there for her every step of the way.
In the evening I did my class. I was abit apprehensive about this one as this was the night where I was aiming to go to a gala organised by the national youth theatre in London, but due to the financial side and also prepping for my trip to London next week, I couldn’t go. However I’m glad that I did go, as I started looking at a new technique in the form of Sanford meisner. This one was alot of take in, and I’m still trying to get my head around it as I’m writing this. However, the things I’ve learnt is to essentially, say what I hear rather than say what I think it’s supposed to say. And my teacher also mentioned the reality of doing, so in this case actually hating or loving someone. It’s an interesting topic to look at and I have a feeling that after possibly looking into other classes to expand my knowledge, I think that I may have judged too quickly after the first session of this well known technique.
To relax into the evening I watched the first few minutes of Wednesdays addition of Doctors, but had to stop about 10 minutes in due to technical difficulties. But all I know so far was that Al was getting questioned by someone about a patient who was confined he was ill, but Al mentioned that it was possibly health anxiety (me. Literally me), but then a tragic fate hit. I wonder what will happen on the course of the episode. But when the technical fault did happen I simply checked my socials whilst tucking into a delicious bread and butter pudding. A well deserved treat to a brilliant day.
Thursday: To kick off the day it watched Mondays addition of Hollyoaks. This was in the build up to Ella funeral, and when Dave revealed why he’s been cold with Mason and comfy, I really admired his honesty. And that after sienna makes a shocking discovery, the truth will eventually be out. And I know that Warren wants justice for Ella, but the way he barged into the dog just scared everyone. But I’m glad that newcomer kitty gave him a good talking to, but I wonder how Beau in particular will react when her true identity is revealed. And I still wonder why Mercedes is in love with Warren despite what he did. I hope her plan doesn’t put her and the babies in danger.
I then made my way to the gym. Unfortunately I couldn’t do any boxing due to a private session as always but that didn’t stop me from getting a good workout in. And on the way there and back I drafted some more emails to casting directors and other creatives where I sent them off later on. This felt like a real accomplishment knowing that I had the cooking and the be changing to do before my day job. After the gym I had a phone call with a potential new day job. This was for a weekend position and it would mean I would get more time in the week to work only acting career. I thought I gave through answers so fingers crossed I’m through to the next stage.
Before my Nan came round I typed up my monologue for the national youth theatre event. It does feel more and more real, and even typing this joe makes me nervous, as I’m literally fending for myself. However, this is what I need to be focusing on, as then it’ll help me grow as a creative and as an individual. And if I can manage one night away in Stoke On Trent in October then I can do this. I just need to have more faith in myself. I then cooked my the tea and changed the bed. I was excited about this one, as I loved the last lot of fish tacos I made, as even though they had a kick to them, they tasted delicious. And yes it took longer than expected and with the bed changing it took longer than I thought, but I can’t wait to tuck into some deliciousness later on.
After the cooking and bed change, I listened to the rest of the Act On This answers live session. This was so informative, as I learnt so much information and also found out a good tactic for when I have a tv credit coming up on spotlight. I also learnt that I shouldn’t need anyone’s permission during my career and that I can’t tag so many people in one post. So all in all a good session.
Before I made my way to work I watched Tuesdays addition of Hollyoaks. This was an emotional one, as it was the day of Ella’s funeral and everyone was grieving differently. For the teens it was having some fun, but for someone it made them abit jealous. For Warren, he couldn’t help but be a hot head. I dread to think what he’ll do after he left the village again. I also think that dilly is deluded, and now that sienna knows everything, I think she’ll take it into her own hands, and trust me you do not want to mess with Sienna Blake. Especially now that Liberty is back on the scene. Before I started my shift I played some darts. I think I’m gradually getting better a I develop my skills. And it seemed to have had an impact on the shift I had, as it left me feeling refreshed and rearing to go.
I then had my shift. For some reason I felt content, as Thursday is one of my least favourite days. But as I keep reminding myself this isn’t forever and that in a few weeks once everything has calmed down I can ask again to see what’s the situation. I also made a start on sending in the money from the go fund me page for my cast and crew, which I think helped get through my Shift. As I got back I watched abit of the premiere league darts whilst I had my first lot of fish tacos as seen below (and they did not disappoint). I don’t get to watch all of it due to work, but I make the most of what I do watch, just so that I can enjoy it. And enjoy it I did as there are definitely stars in the making. I can’t wait to catch up on abit in the morning to help me feel energised.
I then of course ended the day with checking my socials and learning some more Korean and French. And I’m between I managed to apply for an acting job on Mandy. But due to technical difficulties I couldn’t upload the photo they wanted. So I simply mentioned in my cover letter that if they want me to audition for it I’ll send them a phot in a separate email. So fingers crossed they can do that.
Friday: To kick off the day I watched a bit of the Premier League darts from last night. I knew who already won, but this was a good way as always to keep me energise before a long day. And with the dart board a work it helped me even more. Throughout the day I posted my video of my audition for the UK tour of Dear Evan Hansen. Honestly I can say a I’m writing this that I’m proud of myself. As even though there are probably better singers than me just stepping out of my comfort zone doing something like this is something to help me grow as a creative. But you never know, they may take a chance on me and pretty soon I’ll be touring the UK in no time.
I then of course went to work. It was an okay shift as even though there was a lot of picking it kept my steps going, which meant it also left me room to enjoy this delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut I bought as seen above. I even manage to rehearse my monologue for my weekend in London which is always good and I saw a little brown bird looking a bit helpless and lost. But by the time I came back outside it was gone. Maybe it found what it was looking for. Who knows.
During work I also found out that I didn’t get the job I had an interview for. This was abit of a knock back, but as I said before, every no is one step closer to a yes, and because it wasn’t a flexible job, I think I made a lucky escape
As I got back I did abit of yoga and watched the rest of Wednesday addition of Doctors. I could see why Al got mad, as like me I could get really bad health anxiety. But after the truth was revealed, I wonder if this left Al to come and see patients with a more open mind. Before I went out I watched the first half of Wednesdays addition of Hollyoaks whilst I had my second plate of tacos as seen before. What an episode it was, as sienna was getting either to the truth, and Dilly’s revelation has left me on tender hooks. And I feel that Lucas is still struggling with who he is, and what he decides to tell Carter will definitely cause some arguments. I also think that what kitty said about the photo is genuine, as being yourself can be vulnerable, but with the identity switch I wonder what the real reason is…
I then made my way to watch Romeo and Juliet, to support other actors that I know. This was also my first time travelling to the Town Hall Ballroom in Newark, and it was so beautiful. It was literally a scene from Bridgerton. And the show itself was fantastic, with each actor playing different roles within the show. I’ll be writing a full review of the show in the next few days so be sure to keep a watch out.
As soon as I got back I watched the rest of Wednesdays addition of Hollyoaks. Even though Kitty has a big secret, she definitely has a way with children, which has helped Diane massively. I also understand why Dillon wood be frustrated when Lucas didn’t show up, and I think that he does like Freya. But if Lucas revealed the real reason as to why he didn’t come then maybe Dillon would see things in a different light. Although I did get abit flustered when half of his shirt was off lol. And after a shocking discovery from liberty, sienna is really in for it now. I then did some more Korean and French, but only one mini session knowing I had a later night tonight and an even earlier start tomorrow. So overall a long but fulfilling day.
Saturday: To start off the day I watched Thursdays addition of Doctors. I can really relate to Alfie’s situation as it’s not easy to gain a career in the arts, but with him losing a loved one and having no look after his mum, I can see why he would take a step back from it. But thank god Kirsty was on hand to help giving him and his mum the support they need. I also was surprised by the surprising connection between suni and Harry, whether it was an ex or a patient who gave him the wrong treatment, I don’t know. But all I can’t say is when Nina and Scarlett find out the truth, they are not going to be happy. And Joel really doesn’t mess about, and I hope it doesn’t affect Maria and Lucas friendship.
I then made my way to work where once again I rehearsed my monologue for the London event. I can honestly say I’m looking forward to it, and to meet creatives who are also deaf, disabled and neurodivergent is a rare opportunity indeed. And with it being my first event with the national youth theatre in person it’s even more exciting.
After a nap I watched abit of the Premier League darts whilst I had lunch, just it keep my energy levels up. This was then followed by making the first edit of my sketch. So far I only cut out the clips I like most, which for me is a start. As it’s one percent more than the average person. I then also caught up on a session from my acting class linking to the Meisner technique. And it was a good job I decided do so as I’m still trying to get my head around it. But once I get into the full flow I’m sure I can take a thing or two away.
After that session recap to help wind down I read more of the book “Live Well Everyday” and also planned the next day whilst I aligned to a broadcast from Act On This. Instead of the usual stuff it’s talks about, he brought on high performer mindset coach Matt hall, who after going through bullet proof actor at the weekend, did a Q&A to answer any other questions. And during I I even manage to post my tv reviews of shows I’ve recently watched. See the link to the full post now: https://www.theautisticactress.com/post/sexy-secrets-the-origin-of-the-chatty-man-and-murderer-in-the-sky
I then checked my socials (but my personal ones to begin with) and walked my dog. And even though I was slightly off schedule, that didn’t stop me from doing a yoga session and learning some more Korean and French. Now as mentioned before normally I would get panicky due to not being on schedule , but for some reason I wasn’t. I think I’ve learnt that as I got older I can deal with not being on schedule better, and for that I’m very proud of myself.
As the evening came in I watched episode 4 of Fool Me Once. I’ll be honest I wasn’t at the edge of my seat as in previous episodes but the ending was intriguing to me. This was then followed by Mondays addition of Hollyoaks. I get why Dillon would be annoyed with Lucas even though Lucas was genuinely trying to help Leah, but taking it out on Carter (who’s got big plans as it is) did not help either. And I think Beau has taken a definite interest in Kitty and that I’m wondering why Ethan is helping out Dilly.
To finish the evening off I watched the first quarter of the festive addition of Gogglebox. I’m aware that we’re past the festive season and nearing the day of love that is valentines, but I just needed a good laugh to help me settle. I then of course checked the rest of my socials with my dog looking all cute (even if I did have it move her as she takes up alot of room lol).
Sunday: I started Sunday with listening to more of an Act On This broadcast with Matt hall. This focused on limiting beliefs and all the stuff he and Ross went through on bullet proof actor. I can’t wait to listen to the rest later. I then of course went to work. This was mostly facing up but I also had my colleague some in to help me film a section for the documentary. This was beneficial, and I even managed to get an idea on if we can make it to the royal television society, so then I’m not stressing out about what I can control and what I can’t. The rest of my shift was okay, as even though it was facing up and reducing mainly, I managed to get through it and with me practicing my darts, despite some being a bit dodgy but redeeming myself with a few trebles and doubles, it definitely helped my confidence.
After I walked my dog I watched more of Gogglebox during lunch. So far this had it all, from the full Monty to the repair shop which once again made me cry. I even watched them watch a new drama called men up, which I did hear about, and it was quite amusing but interesting at the same time. And when it came to them watching the Squid Game: The Challenge final, I was so eager to watch it for myself now. I was also very grateful after my legend that is my dad bought some scrumptious Valentine's Day Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I know they're not good for me, but as I'm still very single (but maybe that'll all change depending on when you're reading this lol) I needed a treat for myself!
To kick off the afternoon I watched and made notes to an Act On This podcast with Hamilton Hodell agent Lizzie fieldhouse (where I watched the last 10 minutes of it later on). Yes I have an agent but for me a good podcast to help me better my relationship with them is essential. So all in all a good podcast to listen to.
I then moved onto doing a Meisner exercise with one of my friends from the workshop. We only did 5 minutes of this as we were both tired. But the important part was we did it and surprisingly it felt more relaxing. I think that because we weren’t in a class environment it must’ve had an impact on it. So I’ll be interested to see what the next few exercises involve. It was also good to chat afterwards in general, as because of my day job and my acting career, its hard to find time to have regular check ins with my friends. But it was good to do that, and time like this is definitely needed more
To settle into the evening I brain dumped everything for the next week whilst I listened to more of an act on this broadcast with Matt hall. I feel like that this was the perfect motivation too for me to get it all done and within the 30 minute time frame as well, so really thanks Matt for motivating me to get everything out of Adam my brain onto paper. This was then followed by walking my dog and doing some yoga. But then the real trouble started as I struggled to print off something for my event in London. But it came with its positives. As whilst I was waiting, I finished the rest of the act on this broadcast, made a start on packing for London and started the rough cut of my sketch. So then when it did manage to print, I managed to get other stuff in the process. Good one me.
As the evening drawed in I watched Fridays addition of Hollyoaks. Ste is really in for trouble when Kane retuned, and after seeing spoilers of going back to his dark ways, I dread to think what will happen next. And this won’t help Lucas’ situation at all, as Carter takes place his plan that he did on John Paul. I also wonder why Ethan originally helped dilly out in the first place, knowing on what she did to Rafe. I’m just hoping that he won’t betray Sienna after that.
I then moved onto checking my socials and gathering some day player roles from Coronation Street and Doctors. During this I also managed to apply for an acting job and also a course to help me get to where I want to be in the industry. I have a feeling it’ll mainly focus on the theatre side, but that’s okay as with me wanting to learn how to dance this year and knowing what I want, I think I may enjoy it. This was then followed by learning some languages. I only did one session due to me being up early, but I’m glad I did as managed to complete it in under the 10 minute mark followed by a mini session. So overall a good way to end the week.
What have I learnt this week? Sometimes things don’t always go to plan. But it’s seeing the positive/silver lining in those moments.
See you soon for another blog. Until next time…
This is The Autistic Actress signing off :)
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