Hello world! Welcome back to the blog. In this blog, I will be taking you through the journey of show week (and please see this lovely photo of me and the cast of Salad Days) and how it went. This took place between 24th-29th July 2023 and along with repeatedly watching the Scooby-Doo live action movie and Antz, I'll also be mentioning what I did in between shows.
Monday:
Monday was the first night of shows. I was quite nervous as it's always abit like this. But I started the day with walking my dog and doing some morning yoga. Before I did some yoga thought, I made a video on YouTube of me dancing to an energising song on the Alexa. This is so that I can shake out any pre show nerves and not to panic too much before going on stage.
I then did a few activities to keep me occupied, which included looking at more jobs on Spotlight, learning my languages and catching up on some television. The aim is to do some activities in between shows, so that I'm not too overwhelmed on the night, and that I'm keeping myself busy. After checking my socials, I then started to watch episode 2 of Without Sin.
Afterwards I tried to take a lie down on the sofa, but my body was telling me not to sleep, so I decided to head to the shops to get some lemons and other stuff (which was a job needed to do) and watch the start of series 3 of "Serengeti". I've always loved animals, and I feel they have a calming element to a nervous body. After having a delicious lunch and a play with the dog, I then made my way to Nottingham, listening to the first part of a Steven Bartlett podcast, where he interviews Russell Brand. I actually got emotional during the first part, as I can relate to the life Russell had in the sense that I felt abit lost and confused. But this year so far has taught me how to be my true self, so that includes respecting boundaries, knowing when to ask for help and being more honest with myself (which does include a very exploded throat chakra).
After a delicious Subway I bought to the theatre, I got ready for the show and we officially began.
Act 1 went really well, despite someone breaking a vinyl record during one part. But he covered it up really well. The director said that what we feel on the inside doesn't show on the outside. So in that instance, he may have been panicking on the inside, but managed not to let it show on the outside.
Act 2 went just as well, and despite some spillages before a song, we overall had a good show. On the way back, someone said that the next few shows get harder, as I'm comfortable in it, but I need to make it comfortable. That statement probably explains the reason why in previous shows, the second one made me feel as though I would panic, as I'm creating an expectation to be just as good if not better than the last show. Instead I should learn to appreciate the moment and not overthink it too much and enjoy it, as if I enjoy it, the audience will enjoy it. This realisation is definitely something I will take with me going forward.
Tuesday:
Tuesday was show number 2. Before I went, as always I took my dog for a walk and did my dance warmup. This time I had to do it in the living room with the music coming from my iPad as my dad was watching a TV series, and the Alexa would distract him. But I managed to get it done and also did some yin yoga. This was so that I can help calm myself and be present in preparation for the next show.
Shortly after I set out my budget for the month, where I got a lower paycheck. Probably the lowest since I've started upping my hours. But with some possible overtime to come and a Q&A I'm participating in on Sunday which will owe me an extra £50, I'll be able to make up what I've possibly missed out.
I'd be lying if I said I was more anxious about this performance, so I tried to relax as and when I can. These included keeping myself occupied, and the tasks included applying for some jobs on Spotlight and Mandy, learning Korean and French, and also trying to have a nap on the bed. I failed the nap on the bed once again, but having at least 20 minutes with no screens was probably enough for me.
I then decided to have my lunch outside, as I can get a bit of vitamin D before showtime.
When I got to Nottingham, I started to more tired. Whether that was yin yoga, the fact I was overthinking like I normally do, and it was warm (but thankfully not too bad). But I've learnt to just appreciate the moment rather than creating an expectation to do better. As after what the member of staff said about the next few shows and how I was trying to make my brain get comfortable, it explains everything. So after recording a segment for my vlog on YouTube, I mentioned about turning my expectations into appreciations, and it definitely seemed to pay off.
When showtime came, I was once again nervous, but I used it in the opening number for the formal part before switching the mood.
Overall, this show went really well. Despite a few line slips and a glass breaking, we got a better reaction from the audience. And I know this will get better, as the more comfortable we are, the more enjoyable it'll be for the audience, and the more we enjoy it, as their energy will bounce back from us.
Wednesday:
Wednesday was show number 3. But this was also the day when my "my time of the month" came (ladies, if you know what I'm talking about you'll get it). This couldn't have come at a worse time for me, but I knew it would be coming soon, as yesterday I got teary. Thankfully I'm glad I came on now. This may meant that my tummy ached for the next few days, but providing I keep taking tablets and drink lots of water (as I aimed for at least 2 liters before I go out) I should be fine.
After some yoga, I then started the day by listening to the first 20 minutes of an Act On This Podcast with director Debbie Howard. I may have scheduled it an hour, but I didn't want to overdo myself before the show, so at least I managed to get started on it. I ended up listening to 20 minutes in total, as my body couldn't bring myself to listen to any more.
I then headed to the theatre more nervous than before, as I had my sister and my dad watching the show. I was surprised she even wanted to come, but they came in on a good night, as the reaction from the audience was the best one so far. They were abit disgusted when my character mentioned the shade of the dress she was taking to her job (which was triple cinnamon and custard) but I made it up with a laugh from a line which to this day I'm still not sure why it was funny, but I'll take any reaction I can get. Mind you, my good friend Ali (As seen in this lovely photo below along with Jarrod, who played PC Boot, Ambrose and the Club Manager), said that she had people who were laughers, so at least they helped the audience.
Thursday:
This morning was a tough one. My female issues got worse, and started to feel the full affect. I felt tired, groggy, and at that point I didn't even know if I could handle tonight's show. But I needed to get a job done. So I took some tablets, and kept myself busy, as like they say in showbiz, "The show must go on!". But I took it down so that I don't overdo it. So I took my time doing some yoga, noting jobs on Spotlight, learnt some more Korean and French, and also making a note of some of the 25 questions I'm going to answer on Sunday. I then relaxed and watched some TV whilst controlling my pains.
I also had a little bit of self doubt. As the director needed to talk to me about the main scene I was in for act 2. At this point I wasn't sure if I was good enough, so it was straight into overthinking. But it was one simple note... Do not shout. And he noticed it with other members. Despite abit of a wobble before going on, I knew I had to do it, as my grandparents were watching me. But it looked as though the cry might have worked, as I ended up giving off my best performance yet. I had the right amount of volume, the jokes landed and the audience, especially mu grandparents, loved it. Even though it was something to celebrate, I knew I had 3 more shows to go, so I needed to save my energy.
Friday:
Friday was a day where I needed to keep my cool after last night. So I started the day with a walk with my dog and some calming yoga. But that was interrupted by a disagreement with my dad over something petty (which we did put behind shortly after). I know every parent and child have minor disagreements, but when you’ve had a success like last night and then it’s ruined by something petty, that’s when it can really affect you. And whilst I had to let my emotions out when he was not looking (as the more I kept it in the more it build up) I can’t let that take over, as the last time I did that I got overwhelmed, leading me to the point where I thought I would be sick on stage. So I plan to do some gentle prep, by simply chilling out. This meant lying on the bed to help relax, watching something funny on the TV and trying to calm my nerves and excitement.
When the show came, it was once again as success. The audience were brilliant, the reaction we got, especially from the new and improved dress shop scene, was perfect and overall positive reviews. I even managed to get out of the théâtre quickly, knowing full well I had two final shows the next day. But I just had enough time to say hi to some audience members, who congratulated me for a brilliant show. The director also said that the manicurist scene was the best I've done it. And hey, I'll take the compliment, as if I were to pick another job other than acting, with abit of help and training this could be a future career.
Saturday:
This was it... the final day. We had not one, but two shows to perform, one of which was sold out. After some calming yoga, I was ready to bring it on. But the journey there was a stressful one, as after a delayed bus and thinking it wasn't going to move, I was worried about even making it. But thankfully I did, and after getting a cheeky Greggs for my lunch, I was fueled up and ready to go. With plenty of time to spare, I had a walk through the city centre, where Pride was happening, and some of the outfits looked amazing. And I think seeing the atmosphere really helped me with going for these last 2 shows.
The first lot of audiences audience may not have had a big reaction as the previous ones, but overall it went well and between the evening and afternoon, they said they really enjoyed it. Mind you, some of my cast members did say that sometimes older audience members don't react as much, but they still enjoy it, as once again we had strangers coming in to congratulate us. So at least we did something good.
In between shows, I got a KFC for my dinner, and it was scrumptious. They did suggest going to the Pelican for dinner, but I declined, as I needed some me time before the final show. I also admired the presents I got from one of my cast members, which were a Beatrix Potter book (As there were a lot of references to the Peter Rabbit Author), and a lovely 50s picture and some pencils from the actress who played Lady Raeburn. I wasn't much but it was definitely the thought that counts.
Just before we did the final show, we gathered round to give presents to the director and some of the crew members. Without them, this show wouldn't have even gone on. The director then praised us, as at one point he didn't think that the show would happen. But it was through our hard work and dedication that the show happened, and I will take that with me for the rest of my life. We were then fueled with energy for the final show.
This audience wasn't the best reaction wise, but we knew we needed to go out with a bang. Although it didn't help that the theatre was half full. Never the less, my cousin and her partner really enjoyed it.
After waiting upstairs and asking my dad if he took the dog for a walk (where eventually he said yes), I had the task of helping out with the get out. Along with organising props and costumes, I had to make sure the changing rooms were tidy. I then had to head off as I was ready for bed, but as soon as I got back, I sent a voice note to the chat to thank them for everything. Expect a post on my socials about how I thought it went along with fabulous photos of me in costume
Sunday:
I managed to have a brief lie in on Sunday. Even though I got up earlier, I still wanted to relax, especially after the madness that has happened over the last few days. I then decided to reach out to the local musician to say that the show went really well, but the reply I got changed everything. He said that he thinks about me all the time, and that he wanted to see me. All I can say was I was shocked, as I knew he was with someone, but obviously I don't know what goes on in other peoples lives. Either way, I knew I couldn't hide my feelings, as I said to I'm that I feel the same (and that has been true for a while). I knew I couldn't rush anything into it, so I'm gradually going to take my time with it, and get to know him one step at a time. And I had to, as in the afternoon I was off out again to do the Q&A. I also messaged my friends about the Peaky Blinders Escape room, as spaces were filling up. Thankfully one said she can do both dates, so I just need to wait for the other two and whilst they shoot the rest of the film, hopefully they can check their availability.
Once again I was back out in Nottingham, where after initially getting lost thanks to google maps, I took part in a Q&A where I got paid £50. I was told by the people running it that my answers were fairly detailed so I was happy they said I did a wonderful job. I was quite surprised as I thought I muttered throughout some of it and I completely went off the notes I made. But thanks to the power of editing, they can save the day, and hopefully make me look good on camera.
To finish the busy week, I winded down with some yoga as always, but a relaxing one, and learning some Korean and French. I even filmed something for a job on Mandy, only to find that it had closed before I submitted it. But it was good that I did film something, as the more I get into it, the more I'm building that muscle and natural it'll be, and that's something I plan to do for the next few weeks whilst I also take time to relax and watch as much entertainment as and when I can. I then finished the day and a VERY busy weel with watching some Hollyoaks and a bit of In For A Penny, hosted by the incredible Stephen Mulhern.
What have I learnt this week? Once you've stepped outside of your comfort zone, anything is possible.
See you soon for another blog. Until next time...
This is the Autistic Actress signing off :)
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