Hello world! I’m back. This week has definitely been a busy one. Here is what I got up to this week from 10th-16th July.
Monday: As usual I had my early morning shift. I was asked to stay longer and believe me I would if I could, as I need the money. But because I had a dentist appointment and I had to take my dog for a walk when I got back before rehearsals, I had to decline.
After my usual nap I took my dog for a walk, whilst I cooked a fish before making my way to the dentist. I’ve met him before and he was very lovely. Even though it wasn’t cheap, and I could’ve done with not going today, I knew that my health came first, as without my health I’ve got nothing. All seemed well. There was no mention of gingivitis (which is what he noticed last time) but there may be a possibility I need a night guard to avoid grinding my teeth. I definitely took this into consideration. And even though it won’t be cheap either, for my health it was definitely an option to consider.
I then moved onto checking the world of social media whilst having my lunch. With it being two weeks until the show, and now coming back later, I’ve scheduled my social media time so that I can be up to date with what’s going on but more or less heading straight to bed when I’m back.
Then I had the challenge of going to my rehearsals, and getting the 10:37 train back home. Normally there was an earlier train at this point but they’ve stopped doing it now. So I had to power through the journey. During this rehearsal, the director talked us through who would be setting ad striking what. This would involve cast and crew, as yes we have crew for a reason, but because it was a small team we had, we had to pull together as a company to make the transition of each scene as slick as possible. We also ran a couple of numbers along with those transitions just so that we know what we're doing and when. I'll be honest, from getting up early to coming home late, it certainly tested my body, but having the motivation to be there and needing know important information so close to opening night, it was definitely worth it.
Tuesday: I was definitely feeling it on Tuesday after an early start and coming back home late from the previous night, but somehow I still managed to power through the day.
I started the day as usual by taking my dog for a walk and doing some yoga. I’ve really started to enjoy these yoga workouts. As not only does it get my body moving without putting too much pressure on myself, but it’s also calming and relaxing.
I then had the mission of applying and listing for some jobs on Spotlight, one of which was based in Lincoln. This could be useful for me as yes it might not be paid work but the character they put out does seem to connect with me. So fingers crossed I hear something back, and with me emailing the team I could double my chances of them noticing my profile.
I then spent some time completing some surveys and also listening to a character from the famous sitcom “Benidorm”. This was so that I can get a northern voice in my head for the character of Aunt Prue in “Salad Days” who in the second scene and the only scene she appears in, she doesn’t really care about what’s happening. I then listened to the first 30 minutes of an Act On This podcast with the incredible Jonny Boutwood. He was part of the casting team who casted Peaky Blinders (my favourite tv show of all time) and in this podcast he talks about how he’s going to be setting up on his own from august. All I can say is I can’t wait to see what he has to offer throughout the podcast.
I then had my lunch and watched the first half of the last episode of Waterloo Road. Even though I know what happens through the power of social media, seeing it makes it more gripping, but it’s good to prepare for what’s to come.
I then went to my acting class which actually made me feel so much better. Despite it being delayed and my bags getting wet by the rain, I had an overall good time. We did everything from introductions (as there were a couple of new people), a warmup where we had to think on our feet, to looking at a script which will be filmed in less than 2 weeks (the same week as my show). I then managed to listen to more of a Steven Bartlett podcast with Jack Whitehall.
I then came back home to watch the rest of Waterloo Road and learnt some Korean and French before I went to sleep. My dad was right in saying that Korean is quite possibly one of the hardest languages to learn, as it took me a while to write the word hello in Korean. But I know the more I do it the better I’ll be at it.
Wednesday: Wednesday was a day of relaxing and some last minute checks
To start with as always I took my dog for a walk and did some yoga. Then I transported myself into the wonderful world of Spotlight and applied/noted a few jobs
I then did some surveys to help me earn some extra cash. I wasn’t valid for some of them but hey, at least I managed to get some of them completed.
I then got myself ready for an afternoon out at the theatre. I went to watch Blood Brothers with my good friend from college. This was her first time seeing this, whilst this was my third time, after seeing it with school in 2015 and 2016. The actor who played Mickey was the same person who played that same role in this performance, and even after 7-8 years of seeing him before he did not disappoint. I also admired the actor who played Eddie, as not only was his voice exceptional, but he also had this cute personality about him. And of course I had to get some merchandise. But I was good this time as I was within my budget.
After the show me and my friend went to a pub for a drink, and we chatted about life and everything in between. It’s not very often I get to catch up with friends outside of acting classes or work, but when I do it feels amazing. And she really opened my eyes as to if I get an opportunity take it. As even though I may have ruined my chances of getting my first tv credit with the self-tape that didn’t go to plan, I know that if I get selected for this project that’s happening at the end of the month, I’ll know that if it feels right I can take it.
I then stopped by at the theatre to try on my final dress for the show and it’s safe to say it was a success. I now have all of my costumes ready for the final few rehearsals before show week.
I then came home to watch some tv, have dinner and continued abit more of the act on this podcast with Jonny Boutwood.
Thursday: despite not sleeping great that morning I had a pretty productive day. I managed to get through my only gym session of the week before coming home to film some content for my acting page. One of which was linking to the wellness retreat, but might be something in the midst of a potential script for the short film. But more on that later.
I then emailed some casting directors and other production companies and gathered some possible day player roles and scenes to do from Hollyoaks. This was then followed by finishing the Act On This podcast with Jonny Boutwood. I'm definitely going to reach out to him, hopefully before show week.
I then watched some Hollyoaks whilst I had some lunch before heading off to work.
During my time at work despite having abit of a breakdown after not knowing what’s happening, it gave me a newfound source of inspiration for the film. The idea I had was that my character would perform a piece in an open mic night, and whilst she was doing it, we can have some of the video diaries over the voice showing the positives and negatives of my life. This is something that might be able to take off as not only will it show what I’m like unmasked, but I’m able to express it in a creative way.
Friday: As usual, I did my long shift. This one felt different, as some of my colleagues said that I looked happier. And they weren't wrong. As I felt happier too. I think since my ex-colleague came in for a visit, I got a newfound motivation. Maybe he was the guardian angel I needed to keep going and actually gave me consideration to do some overtime after the show. Yes Waitrose is not a job that I want to do long term, but sometimes in life, the passion takes over but sometimes the finance takes over. And this was one of those occasions.
I even had a new idea for a short film. After writing it down briefly, and also thought about where it would be filmed, this could be the gateway to the start of something new.
During my shift I had a delicious lunch. I had chicken Pie with a Lemon Cake for pudding. Now I don't mean to brag, but this has been my favourite dinner to date. And a much needed meal for a long night of rehearsals.
After work I managed to get some bits in town. I may have got slightly wet, but it surprisingly felt refreshing. I then learnt some languages before heading off to Nottingham once again for a rehearsal for Salad Days. During this rehearsal we ran Act 1 and Act 2. We were late starting due to some final costume fittings, but it actually went well. There were some tech issues and a couple of gaps due to forgetting lines, but this is why we have a rehearsal. So that if something like this happens again, we can work on it. And if we forget during the shows itself, we just need to keep calm, carry on and remember to stay in character. I also managed to get some footage of me doing some acting for the documentary, and some of the cast seemed interested. Despite forgetting some lines during one of them, it was going to be covered with audio, so hopefully it shouldn't be a problem I also discovered that one of the cast member sis also autistic. This changed everything, as I noticed traits in this person which are quite common, but I didn't want to say to avoid being rude. And it also got me thinking that after the run, I can message her about the film to see if she's willing to take part.
After rehearsals that's when I started to unsettle. I wanted to go to bed straight away, but my dog hadn't been for a walk, but my dad insisted that he would do it. My sister wasn't well, and even though i won't know how ill she is (as she knows her own body), it made me question why she wouldn't take her for a walk, as she went to her boyfriends house later. I don't want to complain, but it would make you question. After hearing the time my dad will be back, I decided to take her for a quick walk myself. I knew I was going to be tired, but the sooner it was done the sooner I would settle. Now I don't know if it's anything else people like me in particular experience, but I have to know what's going on, as my brain can map out what's happening and then I can get a sense of relaxation. Just like Anton from the documentary I watched, I need to plan out and know everything in order to keep the beat going, but if no one tells me, that when the beat drops.
Saturday: Somehow I managed to pull through and listen to a Act On this Broadcast from Monday. This was when Ross recapped on a few things, which included agents. This gave me real food for thought, as I've been meaning to get back to one I want to be a client of, but I'm still waiting for a meeting from another one. So this gave me the courage to think about a question to the Act On This community about how they would do it so that when I email them next week before the show (as the offices will be closed on the weekends), I'll know what to say in the right way.
I then went to my usual Self-Care Saturdays and continued writing my stories and did some reading. Afterwards I had the huge task of planning the next few weeks of the week before the show, show week itself and after show week. And this is so that it was one less thing to think about each week. I didn't schedule all the weeks fully but I managed to write down the tasks I need to do (with some taking more priorities than others to avoid overwhelm) and scheduled at least next weeks, so that was enough for me.
I also managed to watch the second episode of “Ruby Speaking” on the ITV hub. I actually managed to enjoy this one as there were a few moments that made me chuckle. I did feel sorry for the main character, as I felt she liked her manager Mark, and I know that we’ve all been in that situation.
Sunday: Sunday was a surprisingly productive and positive day. After a decent nights sleep I continued my early morning shift at work. I also listened to my harmonies of a song that I needed to work on. I also had a scrumptious breakfast as seen here. One of the perks of this job is they have delicious food, and one very high in protein.
As soon as I got back, I un-winded and relaxed by having 20 minutes on the bed and doing some yoga to calm down and relax in preparation for tonight’s rehearsal.
Originally I was going to catch an earlier train incase of a delay, but after checking the times on Trainline, I made the decision to catch a later one. And I was right to do so. As this shows has definitely taken a tole on me, as even though I’m looking forward to performing, it doesn’t half take it out of you. So I chilled by watching some Hollyoaks whilst I had my lunch (spaghetti bolognaise), and learning some Korean and French. And I’ll definitely be doing those more in between shows to help relax and calm down.
Later on I attended the rehearsals. This one was a challenge indeed. As even though we knew one cast member was down, another one was late due to an event blocking his way, and the stage manager has caught Covid, sending some of us into a meltdown. However, as the say in showbiz, the show must go on. So we did a run as planned. It went really well, and I tried on my costume during a quick change and it definitely gave me some clarity as to how long I have between scenes. In one main scene, I did feel as though I forgot lines, but because I had a prop with me, it did throw me off the scent. However, I continued as planned and I mustn't let it consume me, as it does happen which is normal, and if it happens on the night, I need to remember to take a breath, and carry on. It's moments like this where if I focus on perfection, it'll make me unhappy. Overall, the show was looking in a great shape, and there were only nit picky notes. But providing I take them on board (especially with projection for me), it'll be a huge success.
So what have I learnt this week? It’s important to take big steps and step outside of your comfort zone. As if you stay in the same lane, you won’t improve, but if you are outside the box, big things will happen.
See you soon for another blog. And until next time…
This is the Autistic Actress signing off
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