Hello world! Welcome back to another weekly highlights. Despite having a cold this week, that didn't stop me from getting up to lots of stuff, which includes seeing a classic at The Theatre Royal Nottingham. So without further ado, here is what I got up to from the week commencing 23rd October 2023
Monday: To start the new week off I watched Thursdays addition of Doctors. I’ve seen the ending before and I have a feeling I know what’s coming, but I did feel sorry for Ollie when Scarlett called things off with him. But she needed to do what was right, and for me personally I still think that she and Suni are the better match. And now that the show is officially ending next year I hope they get to find their happily ever after. I then went to work. I was slightly anxious after the past week, but it was actually not that bad. I didn’t get overwhelmed and even though I was abit slow (a trait in an autistic shutdown) I got the job done whilst learning a self tape to fill the next day.
At lunch I took my dog for a walk and also looked at getting rid of some storage on my phone. This was a much needed task to do after a technical fault in yesterdays recoding, but it was done and I rewarded myself with a tasty lunch and watching the rest of Strictly from Saturday. I must say Angela Rippen did the Argentine tango justice. It may looked simple watching it but I bet you it’s actually really hard. But I’m so looking forward to fright night, mainly because of the costumes.
I then moved onto recording my Self-Tapes for actor jam. This was a success but now I’m left with the difficult decision of which o takes of my two pieces I should select. This bit is always tricky, as previously I want with my gut and it seemed to have paid off. But because I’m auditioning for a third time this year, I feel a little bit under pressure as one of my submissions is something I’ve next done before, and I want to do it justice. But at the same time I need to enjoy the process (which I have done) and look back at each take and go with what I feel is right without overthinking it.
I then had a phone call interview for a new job. This was for a cleaning company who are eco friendly which is always good. I did list down the pros and cons afterward as even though it gives me the flexibility I need to work around my acting career, the hours are lower (but will build up over time) and some people may think that cleaning is not really my thing. Yes I may get some controversial opinions on this interview, but at the same time I need to think about what’s right for me and if by the time I do hear back if it is the right one for me. Only time will tell and it is a risk, but sometimes the biggest risk is not taking a risk at all. I then settled down to do some yoga. I feel I definitely pushed my limits as I managed to achieve a pose which takes it to the next level. It hurt I won’t lie but it did feel beneficial. It also made me feel very zen after the week I’ve had.
I then looked at a script for my self tape tomorrow just to remind myself of my wants and then it was followed by scheduling tomorrow. And after going to the shops to get some more stuff, I watched Coronation Street from 18th October. This was the last episode of that week after the murder of a certain villain, but even with the serial killer gone, this episode still had it all. And it may appear that now that daisy and Ryan are working in the same area of work, and with spoilers showing the truth will come out, I fear that not only will it ruin things for daisy, but I fear it’ll send Ryan on another downward spiral. But I guess only time will tell. I then finally submitted my actors jam material. I had the choice of many and it was a hard call, but I had to go with my gut at the end of the day. And who knows? I could be performing in it for a third time. But either way I’m happy with the fact I did it again and took a risk by submitting something different.
I then ended the day with watching episode 3 of Boiling Point. This was directed by a different person, as on an act on this podcast Philip Barantini said that after he directed all of malpractice he couldn’t find the energy to direct all the episodes of Boiling Point. But the other director was brilliant, and really knew her stuff. I also admired Andy’s journey to gaining his life back, bonding with his son over his passion, which is food. That was such a heartfelt moment amongst the other drama in Carly’s kitchen, as sometimes you need to take a step back and got to the finer things in life to rediscover your passion. I then ended the day with checking my storage and learning some more Korean and French.
Tuesday: I started the day with watching the rest of Googlebox from Friday. They reacted to a show with Shayne ward and Catherine Tyldsley. But I’ll be honest I didn’t think it say right with me as it sounded abit cheesy. But at the same time it was good to watch their reactions.
I then went to the gym as always. I felt more refreshed than last week and I felt as thought I stepped outside of my comfort zone and do this week strong. I even started to listen to a new Steven Bartlett podcast with Nick Cannon. HIs story is so fascinating, and to achieve so much at a young age is inspiring to hear. And I’ve learnt so far that if you want to do something, just do it. Don’t try, do it. And that’s the lesson I’m going to stick by. But I can’t wait to see what the rest of the podcast has to offer.
After walking my dog and noting a couple of jobs on Spotlight, I then filmed my Corpse Bride self-tape. Despite a few technical difficulties and also with my scene partners house having builders, I managed to get quite a few takes in. Now all I need to do is edit them and post them onto my socials by the end of the week. This was then followed by nudging my agent on a few spotlight jobs, just so that still being proactive and not leaving all the work to her.
I then went out for lunch with my grandparents. It was a lovely lunch, as it wasn’t too filling but it wasn’t too light either. It was just right. Yes it took a while for our food to come out (and after working in hospitality I should know the affects of a busy place) but it was worth it at the end.
As soon as I got back I contacted my bank about my act on this subscription and how it doesn’t come out of the charges when it automatically renews itself. So I simply paid for my subscription again, but Ross said he’s if it doesn’t work again then we’ll try my PayPal account (and it’s a good job I have one too). this then led into the first half of an act on this podcast, which was a round table with the crew and some of the cast of The Long Shadow. I’m already so excited, learning so many new discoveries, learning that even the most experienced actors still get nervous and also how to get on Lewis Arnold’s and Victor Jenkins radar. This one felt different as well, as it gave me a newfound motivation. I still have an hour to listen to but I can’t wait to listen to that the next day.
After tweaking my blog and also washing up some of the dishes, I then moved onto scheduling tomorrow and taking my dog for a walk. This was then followed by a phone all from Steve Watson about the next store with the project. We are now at the stage we’re we need to cast the film and also get some more footage for the overall documentary. He also gave me some advice on when I get my first the job for the next few months and it left me thinking a lot. He also mentioned about how a cast member might be good for the best friend of my character, which led me to a real tough decision. But that’s the reality of a director, and at the end of the day who I decide to go for what his my decision. But as I’m typing this I do have a suggestion to tell Steve Watson. All will be revealed soon.
To wind down for the evening I watched the first episode of The Gallows Pole as part of the workshop with Jonny Boutwood in a couple of weeks time. I was going to watch another episode but because it was a new show I needed chance to let it sink in. So far it’s abit of a slow burner, but a couple of moments that stood out to me were the moments between David and his brother William and David and grace. It was such raw drama and not knowing what the other person is thinking. And it’s moments like this that get me hooked and not worry about anything else. Yes it’s still abit if a slow burner but I’m willing to give the rest of the series watch and get those questions prepped for the workshop.
I then moved onto Three Girls. And I’ve never been more hooked to some since Peaky Blinders. As my god the storyline was so hard hitting, and even on the most horrific moments I couldn’t help but not take my eyes off it all. The main reason why I watched this show is because when the scripts do come for the workshop I have a feeling that three girls will be in that category, and because I can play younger than my actual age this will be a perfect script for me.
I then ended the day by watching the first half of Mondays addition Doctors, checking my socials and learning some more French and Korean. However I did get abit agitated in the night, and I admit I took it out on my dad. Looking back I avoiding really, but we all do things like this but it’s how we deal with the aftermath. So after taking some time to calm down I sent him a text to say that I was sorry for lashing out.
Wednesday: I started the day by watching the latest addiction of Doctors. This was then followed by going to the gym where I started a new Steven Bartlett podcasts there and back. This one was with comedian and actor Nick Cannon, and I was so fascinated by his story, as he is a fine example of it you work hard and hustle, it’ll pay off. The gym itself was okay. After last week I managed to find a newfound motivation to go for it. I think that’s my body’s way of telling me to come back with a bang, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.
After walking my dog and having a nice hot shower, I then finished the Act On This podcast with the cast and crew of The Long Shadow. I have loved every minute of it, and as this was also my third encounter with Lewis Arnold (the first being with The Actors Workshop Nottingham and the second on a previous act on this podcast) I definitely need to get him on my radar.
I then moved on to tweaking my blog which included looking at my third instalment of TV Recommendations. This was a much needed task as I still have another one and a 5th one in the making. I aim to get the third instalment out by the end of the month and the 4th in the first week of November. But now that I’ve fleshed it out all I need to do is check and we should be good to go.
During lunch, I watched another episode of Doctors and the first half of The Gallows Pole episode 2. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure if I like this show, but because it’s for the workshop I’m willing to see it through, as I do have a few questions on it.
To start the afternoon, I did some final prep for class. I was a little bit slow and I felt behind but I knew actor jam had to take priority. But as long as I know my lines and had the practical aesthetics elements in place I would be okay. I then looked through my story to see if there’s anything that needed tweaking, and with the approval from my fellow Actors Workshop member, it's now ready to be published, and it would be interesting to see the feedback I get.
I then finished reading The Golden Rules of Acting. It may have been a short read, but it packed alot of useful information that I needed to hear, and with another book called More Golden Rules of Acting, I can't wait to get started and learn more. I then did one more Korean and French, where I felt i was in my state of flow, and managed to complete the daily tasks and also complete a few units in French.
The final task of the afternoon before class was gathering some scenes and day player roles from doctors and Hollyoaks. I was originally going to do just doctors, but just to give my brain abit of a reset I did a weeks worth of Hollyoaks to catch up on day player roles and scenes from the show. A much needed task to do and I’m glad I got it done. This was then followed by The Gallows Pole episode 2 before class. I think I noticed that they were trying to land elements of comedy in it, but for me it didn't really land, which was really disappointing for me. However, I was willing to see it through to the end as when other people ask questions about the show, I'll understand what Jonny is saying.
I then had my acting class. And after the past few weeks I needed it more than ever. It had everything from looking at a casting on the talent page (which I filled later on) to looking at the last scenes from Succession. I actually enjoyed it more than I thought, as previously when rehearsing it I didn’t get myself in the zone properly. But once I performed my scene I was loving every minute of it. Even when my teacher told me to do the complete opposite I was still enjoying it. I guess as well you could say it was a healthy release, as I seemed to feel happier in myself. But that was only the beginning. I then watched some “trailers” my peers did, and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much in my life. A night that was well needed. After watching some monologues from the rest of my peers to end the night (and they were good ones) and tweaking a self written one for future references, I then finished the act on this podcast with the cast and crew of the long shadow. I was surprised I completed it when I did, but I didn’t want to wait longer to complete it.
I then of course ended the day with checking my socials. This was whilst I also noted some jobs on Mandy and Spotlight. I then ended the day by scheduling tomorrow before I go to work. It’s safe to say that after a rough start I’m ending it on a positive.
Thursday: To start off today I watched Mondays addition of Hollyoaks. And did it start off with a bang, as Ethan was now on a mission to win Sienna back. I also admired how he came to her defense when Rafe told her to leave him be (which yes I can see why he did what he did but I wish he didn’t have to take it out on sienna), which shows that he does still care about her.
Went to the gym. I was going to listen to more of The Diary Of A CEO podcast, but thanks to the rain and having to have my umbrella with me, I couldn't. A lot of people will say put your phone in your pocket, but people who know me know that I am a note taker, so I like to take on every single word they say in the hope that
After walking my dog and having a nice hot shower, I then got on with my tasks to do before work. Because I wasn’t cooking today, it gave me chance to do some much needed jobs, which included drafting emails some emails to casting directors both from tv and theatre. Even though I’m more or less emailing them the same things, I had to look at each of them carefully as I had tapes and certain things to mention to each of them. In this case I mentioned about The Gallows Pole and Three Girls in preparation for the casting workshop with Jonny Boutwood and my Conversations With Friends inspired self tape for Louise Kiely. So I aim to get the drafts in and send them just before I got to work (but if not all of them then my non negotiable being at least 4) and then send the rest first thing tomorrow morning.
Afterwards I then tweaked abit of my blog (which included my tv and theatre recommendations) whilst I watched Hollyoaks from Tuesday. I dread to think what Ella will do after finding out a secret from Warren and Mercedes. I won’t give away too much but just let’s say that I fear for Felix’s mental state if he finds out, knowing he’s just getting on the right track again. I then moved onto Wednesdays addition of Doctors. The main storyline out of that episode I was interested the most was Scarlett after she broke up with Ollie. I’m surprised how Kirsty took it, as she seemed to still be friendly with Scarlett and was supportive when she made the decision to move out. But now I’m interested in who’s her relationship with Suni develops, as it may change the atmosphere completely.
I then moved onto watching episode two of Three Girls in prep for the Jonny Boutwood masterclass. this one really stuck out for me, as one detective did say "think of these girls as your own kids". That has stuck with me since, as some of the detectives and DCI's don't take that approach, but with young people, especially those who are more vulnerable, you have to be careful with what you say, and also need to listen carefully. And I do feel sorry for Molly as even though she suffered from the after affects of what happened which led her to a downward spiral, I can only imagine the pain she is going through.
After sending the 4 emails to casting directors which I drafted out this morning, I then started my afternoon shift. I seemed okay half way through and looking through my surveys during my break. But the second half was a different story. I got emotional again, but I don’t think it was necessarily about what happened 2 weeks ago. I think it’s mainly because I’m overthinking things like I normally do, but also I may be coming down with a cold (as it’s that time of year) and that’s the last thing I need. But I persevered until the end of my shift and I’m definitely pleased with myself.
As soon as I got back home I tucked into my Mac and cheese dinner and watched an episode and a half of the new series of Ghosts. I was absolutely gutted that this would be the final series, but I guess all good things must come to an end. But I wonder that after what happened with Mary in the last series, if the rest of the Ghosts would have the same fate, or if it would be something different. But because of the new change for Mike and Alison, they may want to start a new life outside of Button House. I guess time will tell, but I forgot how good this show is.
I then watched the rest of Three Girls, where after hearing that they won't get Amber as involved in this case, I really hope it changes. I do get partly why as she has shown more vulnerability and it has made her see red (especially after seeing a ghost from her past earlier on), how she feels is the reality for what her, Molly, Ruby and the rest of the girls are going through because of those men. I really hope they do get the justice they deserve. I then of course ended the day checking my socials and also learning Korean and French. During that I also noted and subbed myself for some more jobs on Mandy and Spotlight whilst I did that.
Friday: To start my long day I started watching the first 3 quarters of Doctors. I couldn’t watch it all as I had to take my dog for a walk before I my grandad took me to work. But I also had a cold as well, so I need to take it easy. Thankfully it wasn’t as bad as when I had the bug last year. So after taking a vitamin tablet, I think a long as I take it easy and get length of fluids down me it should do the trick.
This morning was actually okay. I figured the key to not getting overwhelmed, and that is singing to myself. Even though music is not allowed in the shop, that didn’t stop me from humming a tune. I even started to write down a draft of a monologue inspired by come outside. I did start it a few months ago but never got round to it. But if I keep repeating what I say into my head I should remember it enough to write it down.
During my lunch, I sent 3 more emails to casting directors. I realised though that for one of them I made a little typo in one of the names (oops). But I’m hoping they’ll see it through and that if I ever do encounter the casting team they’ll understand. I’m sure they will as we all make silly mistakes like that. The rest of my shift was good. I managed to get through without getting overwhelmed and also was in the presence of a new face I met yesterday. They were really lovely, and it reminded me that yes Waitrose is not lifelong but until I get that big break (as it will happen) I’m surrounded by lovely supportive people.
On the way back, I listened to the first half of an act on this live broadcast from Monday, so I had something positive to listen to after a long and emotional week. By the time I did get back, I then applied for a few more day jobs. I was originally going to go fill out apply for loads but because I wasn’t well and I had other stuff to sort out I thought I’d only apply for the ones I saved. So I swiftly moved into Noticed some more jobs on spotlight and Mandy and updating my budgeting table. in all fairness I needed to update my budgeting table as because I got paid I needed to be sure now more than ever I’m up to date. And with Christian’s coming I need to look at what I can cut back on. It may mean having to not watch some shows for the next month, which is sad as I try to support everyone as and when I can but in life you can have it all but not all at once. But I always said to them I should be with them and the rest of the cast in spirit, and that’s all that matters.
I then started to relax for the evening by walking my dog and doing some yoga. This wasn’t helpful with the fact that she wanted to play with me half way through! But I’ll let her off as I fat Saturday mad with her forever. This was then followed by the last ten minutes of Doctors and Ghosts, which I thoroughly enjoyed. With Halloween coming up very soon I had to get at least two eps of Ghosts in to get into the Halloween spirit, and I'm glad I did, and I can't wait to see what the rest of the series has to offer. This was then followed by episode 5 of the Long Shadow during dinner. What an episode it was, as they were still on the hunt for the killer, but with it being true life, I'm more looking forward to how the killer reacts when he is being questioned why he did what he did, as yes it was horrific but I believe there's always a reason behind everything. So it'll be interesting to see how that plays out.
I then watched Wendesday's addition of Hollyoaks. I still couldn’t believe what Carter had liked up for John Paul, and after seeing the storyline on something quite horrific, I fears to think what this will do for the rest of his life. It also makes me wonder what makes people like carter go down that road of what he does. Is it because he was taught that it was not okay? Did his parents not approve of who he was? I guess time will tell in the upcoming weeks. I then ended the day with of course checking my socials and learning some more Korean and French.
Saturday: Saturday was a day of work and also watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Although I was wondering if I would even survive the day as I had little sleep last night due to my cold (partly my fault for not taking any paracetamol). But that won’t let it stop me from having a wonderful day. To start with I watched the rest of episode 5 of The Long Shadow before I headed off to work. Normally the picking takes longer to do on Saturday, but we finished early. I don’t know why that was, but maybe with Christmas soon on the way and knowing we are living in a cost of living crisis, I think the public are saving for the dinners and presents. Makes sense really.
Soon afterwards and after checking my socials and posting my Conversations With Friends self tape (which you can see right here: https://youtu.be/O5xk3N3payE?si=4wdHEMtXv_SRk73o), I went to Nottingham to watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. This was performed by the Nottingham Operatic Society, and I was there to support an actor who I had the pleasure of working with when I did Salad Days with back in July. But not before I did abit of shopping to pass the time. I managed to get myself some Millie's cookies and stock up on protein bars. It may have cost me but ,these were he alternatives than lots of chocolate. But I know where I need to cut back on for the rest of this month before I get my advent calenders so afterwards that was the next thing I needed to do.
I then watched the show. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the show, as I never saw the film but I needed to see what it was like. As for an amateur production company I’m really impressed. So impressed that this show should be on the west end, and with the next production soon to follow I may even try out for it myself. Yes it may be amatuer and not paid, but after my dad said to me that the person he sat next to him said that she's been to see shows by the society for years, so that made me even more motivated to audition for it next time.
After I got back, I took my dog for a walk, had a shower and then watched the star of fright night on strictly come dancing, all while tucking into a five guys from Nottingham. Just what I needed after a long exhausting day. As I was a little bit agitated and I may have taken it out on my dad, but I apologised to him and after looking back, it may have been that i was just hangry, as when I finished it I felt reborn. Strictly itself was fantastic, as the costumes and the scenery brought it all to life. Although I was quite surprised by Layton and Nikita not getting the full house, but at least they’re still getting high scores. So that’s always good.
I then watched Thursdays addition of Hollyoaks. One storyline in particular was John Paul’s I comment with carters conversion therapy. I hope JP sees what carter had planned, as then he’ll realise that gelding down this path is not the be all end all. This was then followed by the first half of Gogglebox, where they reacted to a chiropractor. I did wonder what it would be like if ever I did have back pain, but after seeing the show they reacted to I don’t think I’ll be going there lol.
I then winded down by checking my socials and learning some more Korean and French, all while Margo was looking cute on my bed. But I decided to leave it after failing to pass a final level on one topic. But that doesn’t mean to say that I work give up, as I can simply pick up where I left off. And because I still had a cold and I was up since 5am that morning a break was needed more than ever.
Sunday: Sunday was my early morning shift. But not before I watched some more Strictly Come Dancing. I still absolutely love this week as the costumes look absolutely amazing! Although one dance in particular I didn't think was the best, as it could've flowed better and they could've given it more and let loose, but they said they had a good time, and that is what it's all about. I then went to work. It was abit of a sad start to the morning, as I found out the news that Matthew Perry aka Chandler Bing from Friends has gassed away. He was only 54, which was really upsetting. But in honour of him, my work played out the friends theme tune and it was really uplifting. The perfect way to commemorate a true icon in the tv world.
Work itself was okay. My branch manager said that he read my email and that a chat about Christmas would be arranged. I was very happy about this as not only does he understand where I’m coming from (as he’s daughter is also autistic) but he’s also a nice person, and he would never judge if you ever had a query or if something is not right.
After I finished work, I started the afternoon by watching the rest of Gogglebox. This was a brilliant episode as reacted to a new show called Surviving Paradise. this is where people who had to live on basic essentials and had to vote who gets to go in the villa. And there were some proper evil gremlins, as one person wanted to get someone to trust them, but they have been stabbed in the back. But I like the drama, as it just makes it more entertaining.
After walking to the shops to get some lunch (as they didn't have what I wanted originally), I then made a start of listened to the first hour and a half of The Act On This October Table Talk. I had to start it earlier due to me going to the shops, but I still pushed on and managed to get some valuable information out of it. One of which was side hustles, and even though I've heard it before, hearing it again is also useful as sometimes you need to hear the same thing 10 times (or however many times you need) until you take action. And I've learnt that simple things to create a side hustle include surveys, the act on this affiliate link (which I need to get on) and also affiliate links to amazon. It just goes to show that if you look, you can generate extra income to then gradually leave your day job (as Ross mentioned about focusing on getting one day off and gradually let it build overtime) and focus on that side hustle and then my career. And now I can't wait to listen to the rest.
After drafting out my Chitty Chitty Bang Bang review (as I thought to get it started now and then expand on it gradually), I then moved onto brain dumping stuff I needed to do for next week and scheduled tomorrow. This was then followed by some yoga and walking my dog, which was as always nice to do. This was then followed by gathering some day player roles from 2 episodes of doctors. These were quite long, hence why I did two, but the main thing was I still did it and I was consistent, so that was a small win for me.
I then watched Friday's addition of Hollyoaks whilst I had a cuddle with Margo. I feel that at this point Dave’s attitude is definitely out of control, and with a surprising revelation from Darren, I wonder what his decision will be. I then watched the first 3 quarters of the last episode of The Gallows Pole. I’ll be honest, for me personally I didn’t think the show clicked with me. But I do admire the hard work the actors put and the moments where there were long pauses were actually the best bits. So my question for Jonny would be if those moments were improvised or scripted.
I ended the day with tucking into a Kaspa's waffle my dad got me and checking my socials, and listening to an act on this live broadcast from Monday in between. But it did get to me because with the news of Matthew Perry’s passing, it surprisingly got to me. But because I’ve seen friends many times and how I got to know this character it did feel like I lost a cool uncle. But it did give me a new found appreciation for life and how lucky I am to be living on this planet. But after hearing the possible cause, it’s also given me another reflection of my own mental health. So if anything not only will I be kinder to others which I already do but I’ll be more kinder to myself. As where I am, and what I’ve got yes isn’t where I want to be, but I’m lucky to have. I then finally moved onto learning some more Korean and French. I finally managed to catch up and got to unit 6 of French again after the glitch that made me go back 3 units. Now that that's done I aim to be more consistent and get back into my Korean as well as continue to expand my French.
What have I learnt this week? Life is precious. Don’t waste it. And also learn to be kind, as you never know what someone is going through.
See you soon for another blog. Until next time…
This is the autistic actress signing off :)
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