Hello world! Welcome back to another blog, and the first weekly highlights of 2024. It's safe to say that I've started the year off with a bang, so here is what I got up to from the 7th through to the full week of January.
Sunday 7th: To start off the big day I watched Fridays addition of Hollyoaks knowing that I’ll be late back today. This had all the drama in, and with the revelation of who killed Rayne finally revealed, it’s going to be one we won’t forget.
After going to work, I then did a full days worth of filming. It was a challenging day but so rewarding. I can’t give too much away because as I’m writing this my brain still needs time to process what we’ve done. Despite some technical delays (which was bound to happen anyway), we managed to get a good chunk of it done. Sadly we couldn’t get all the shots we wanted because of it but we could easily pick it up the following week. And the people I worked with that day were such a joy including these two fabulous human beings, with Isobel from Salad Days and Leo Long from Netflix film I Used To Be Famous (and if you’ve not seen it yet please be sure to check it out)! And even though it was tough everyone rallied round to help in their own way. That was all I ask for.
As soon as I got back, I watched an Thursdays addition of Doctors. This episode was where rob investigated a racist attack with shocking consequences. But I’m glad it was resolved at the end, and the truth always does come out. I then ended the day with checking my socials and learning some more Korean. But this was only a small session due to the busy day I had.
Monday: To kick off the new week I started listening to Matt halls pre 3 day life enhancer challenge video. I knew I needed to catch up, but now that I’ve got day one of filming done, I can move onto the next thing. Unfortunately I couldn’t listen to the rest of it at work as I couldn’t write and talk at the same time.
After I finished work I did a post day one filming interview with Leo at Steve’s house (as they stayed the night for the weekend). Before then he gave Leo and his dad the detour of Newark. It was so nice as well when we did the interview, as I got to know the actor behind the character as well. And if I can give any piece of advice it is to find yourself a Leo Long in your life. He was honestly one of the kindest, most committed and lovable human being you could meet and a true example of not letting autism get in your way. Fingers crossed this is the start of a wonderful collaboration.
As soon as I got back, I listened to the rest of the live video from Matt halls pre life enhancer challenge and planned out the rest of the day. This was then followed by walking my dog, which I didn’t really want to do but I needed to get my exercise in and she needed the toilet, so I’m glad I forced myself to do it as not only did we both get exercise but we felt good about it too.
After lunch and the rest of Gogglebox in aid of Stand Up To Cancer, I briefly went through my audition material. It didn’t take long as really all I needed to do looking at feedback from when I sent in my monologue for actors jam was to not ad lib with Shakespeare lines. This was a simple note, and then I moved onto noting some jobs on Mandy to apply for. For some reason I lost my sheet of my original list, but that was okay as most of the stuff on there I either applied already or didn’t fit my casting bracket, so I simply noted what was suitable for me in prep for tomorrow.
After an afternoon nap (which was much needed) I did some yoga before taking on the first of the 3 day life enhancer challenge. This was a session needed, because I needed to get back into a routine after Christmas and new year. I even got to ask a question on taking on new tasks after being so hyper focused on one for so long. In this case I asked about payouts for this blog (which was launched in May last year), and I haven’t been set out payouts for people to give do they ca read my content. I basically had the answer in the question which was to gradually make that change. Being on the spectrum a change in routine is difficult and can get overwhelming. However after planning daily since October I’ve found that it’s helped me massively with dealing with change (in this case if my agent sends in a tape I can work my way around it).
I then relaxed into the evening with checking my socials and learning some more Koreans and French.
Tuesday: To kick off the Tuesday morning I went to the gym. I was surprised how good it felt as I left feeling grateful I achieved it. I even managed to complete the additional challenge set by Matt hall. Yes I was abit off schedule but the point is I was happy that I got it done and that’s what really counts.
As soon as that was done I moved onto applying for some jobs on Mandy and Spotlight. My goal was to get at least 2 from each website either nudged by my agent or apply myself which I did. Two of them were on Mandy and based in Nottingham. This was ideal for me and on days where I’m actually available for them. This was then followed by updating my budgeting table (which was one of my intentions which unfortunately I didn’t complete as I didn’t add them up int one), and having abit of lunch before making my way to the dentist.
During my appointment I was told about the night guard and that it’s time to start the treatment. I know I’m young but I know that if I continue to do what I do, it’ll make my teeth more sensitive. So I’ve booked another appointment for a few weeks time to start the process. Then on the long run I’ll have a healthier mouth. This was then followed by watching a video of looking at payouts for this blog and learning some Korean and French. I actually managed to get a lot done in that time, completing my daily goals along the way.
After planning the next day, checking my socials and walking my dog, I then moved onto session 2 of my 3 day life enhancer challenge. This one was more about developing confidence and stepping out of my comfort zone. I felt like I did that a lot this year, but I know I can go further. I even clarified with Matt just to see if my one is okay providing I don’t break any rules. And so far I’m all good. I then settled down by re looking at my schedule and tweaking the next day.
Wednesday: To kick off the morning I watched the first part of Mondays addition of Doctors. Nina certainly opened my eyes, as the subject she’s talking about did link me back to a time where I had an appointment for something and it wasn’t great. Thankfully the nurse was very understanding, but as I turn 24 soon it’s also the age where I book my first cervical screening. So as much prep as I can to make it as comfortable as possible is essential.
I then went to the gym. I decided to mix up my arm routine, which yes may have meant less reps but I feel I did well. And providing I keep going I can build that new comfortable routine. On the way to the gym a director who I got in contact with messaged me about some material for them to see. This was a huge win for me as they were the director I’ve seen on a podcast who yes may not give me the job directly but providing I’m good enough for the part they can push me to help get the role.
As soon as I got back I went to my stretch zone challenge, which was to post some stuff onto vinted. This was a well needed task as I’ve been meaning to do it for a while. And later on in the evening I had my first sale. It was brilliant that someone wanted to purchase something from me, but also I’ve never expected it so soon. So I simply followed the instructions and fingers crossed see where it takes me. This then led onto setting up the withdrawal funds for my go fund me page, which was again a much needed task. And an important one too, as it was including actors travel money, equipment, and also possible money for festivals and viewing.
Shortly afterwards I attended a seminar online with an agent. I know I already have one but it’s good to gain advice from other agencies so that I can know what I need to do to further my relationship with my current agent. Unfortunately I didn’t meet the requirements for the virtual showcase but it was good to attend in general. As now my aim is to network and meet new people as and when I can. This was then followed by watching the rest of Mondays and Tuesdays Doctors whilst I had some lunch (where I watched the rest before my class).
The afternoon consisted of me doing a survey and applying for some more day jobs (some of which I had to put on hold due to having my CV on my laptop). I know I have alot to do, but to avoid overwhelm it’s important that I took a step back once in a while and tune into other things that bring me joy. This then lead to finishing my latest read “Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me”. I found this read interesting, as at first I didn’t really get the story and if Freddy was a boy or a girl, but once I got my head around it I actually quite enjoyed it. And it has taught me a lot about love for the future too. I then of course learnt some more Korean and French.
I then gave Steve Watson a quick call. At this point it may look like we may have the preview of the film on the week of my birthday. This may potentially also clash with a course I’m aiming to sign up for (where the main issue would be travel and getting there very weekend). But I’m sure if do get in they’ll let me off as I know it’s something I’ve worked really hard on.
I then gathered some more day player roles from the soaps. And I’ve finally nearly caught up with them all. And I’m proud of myself for doing that. This then followed onto my class. It was weird doing it after 2 weeks off, but it was also enjoyable. In the session we looked at naturalism and looked at some scripts from Starstruck. I wasn’t even sure if I would be here next week due to a class at the Nottingham playhouse, but the main priority was my film, so I had to make sure that I had everything done before I made any other rash decisions. I then of course checked my socials before heading off to bed.
Thursday: To kick off the day I watched Mondays addition of Hollyoaks, which was then followed by going to the gym. On the way there I updated a post about films I saw last year, and I just need a few more tweaks to do before it’s done. So watch this space.
On the way back I gradually started the videos of my 5 day accelerator challenge whilst I took my dog to get her haircut. The minute she got out it was like she was a different dog. But we knew it was a much needed haircut, abit like me when I have one to avoid split ends. She did look cute though.
In between that during the day I caught up on most of the recoding from day 3 of the life enhancer challenge. This one was really eye opening, and it made me go deep into my beliefs and how they were holding me back, and what would happen if I stuck with them. Now I aim to break some of them, as if I could go to London last year on my own then I can break other beliefs I had of myself.
After watching abit I the masked singer at lunch I then headed to work. It wasn’t the best shift as it involved mostly reducing, but I know I had to get the job done. And I also managed to get my colleague to help me with my presentation for autism acceptance week. So we have formulated a plan so that he can get it started then I can edit it later on.
As soon as I got back home I relaxed as watch more of the masked singer whilst I applied for some more day jobs. I was also unsure of going to watch Jesus Christ Superstar on Saturday knowing that I have a long day the next day with work and filming (as I’ll be working early on the Saturday as well). After advice from my Nan and dad, they might be right in saying don’t do too much. So I feel I’m swaying to miss the Nottingham and go to the Leicester run (as it’s only an hour on the train and a 9 minute walk from the station) or Birmingham. It’ll also give me a chance then to sort out my clothes which have been sold, meaning more money in the pocket. And after the Christmas period and possibly attending the course with national youth theatre I think I was right to not spend my pennies.
I then checked my socials and learnt a quick session of Korean. I only did the one knowing I had to be up early. And earlier than usual as it’s now the start of my new hour change.
Friday: To start off the day I watched Wednesdays addition of Doctors. I was amazed how Bear was able to spot a scammer so quickly, especially with the mill health centre having a few problems. I also see why laughter really is the best medicine, and that what Luca suggested really did make a difference. I also admire Nina for coming forward about the experience she’s had with her ex, but I fear a phone call from him may change everything.
I then made my way to work. I’ll be honest I felt a little lost during the shift, as I was on such a high these past few days, and then now I’ve just deflated. Maybe it’s because I got all hyped up about working with so many creatives and I was back to “reality”. I know it’s normal to feel this way, but I shouldn’t dwell on it as it won’t last forever. But to make up for it I thought of happy things to think about and also I started practicing darts in the canteen. I’m surprised by how much of a relief it was, as finding other things to enjoy like this sport has really helped. And it seemed to have done the trick as I felt much happier, even if I did help get someone get 2 boxes of haggis.
On the way back I was hit with some news. I found out from my colleague that due to circumstances out of our control, we can’t film this Sunday. I was abit shocked at first, and as always change without warning does make my brain go in and out like the hockey cockey. But surprisingly I wasn’t as overwhelmed, as maybe I knew that we would come across barriers like this, therefore it didn’t phase me at much. After speaking to Steve about it he advised me to focus on something else for my own well-being. This for me was possibly watching a show the next day in Nottingham. Originally I wasn’t going to because of the filming, but now that that’s happened, maybe a day out by myself is what I need.
As soon as I got back from work, I started by looking at a day job to apply for which I did. There was another one I needed to apply for but I’ll move that to the start of the new week. I know most people would say don’t leave it until then as it might be too late, and they’re probably right, but after getting overwhelmed the last thing I need is to be doing multiple things at once. I then walked my dog and did some yoga to help me settled down. This was once again a much needed session as slowly but surely the littlest of things started to irritate me.
I then settled down into the evening owner watching the rest of The Masked Singer and most of Vigil. This then moved onto Wednesdays addition of Hollyoaks. At this point Romeo is literally a dead man walking, but they should take into account that he was also a victim of abuse too. But I’m sure he’ll do the right thing and hand himself in, but a surprise kidnap may say otherwise. I then of course ended the day with checking my socials and learning a quick Korean session.
Saturday: To kick off Saturday I watched the rest of Vigil and also abit of Singin In The Rain before work. I knew I had a long day but I needed these to help me get through it. And also because I woke up before my alarm again so abit of music was needed to waken my soul.
I then went to work. I’ll admit I did feel abit down still after what happened the day before, and it had left me deflated. it’s like being drunk for a week and then suddenly you have a massive hangover. And with certain staff members not in it was hard to open up about how I felt. But I know it’ll pass, and after learning that an emotion only lasts for 90 seconds, I can start to understand how I can control it.
After practicing more of my darts, I then made my way to Nottingham to watch Jesus Christ Superstar. But not before I had a cup of tea from the usual cafe near the train station. The show itself was really good. The guy who played Jesus was exceptional, not forgetting an array of amazing characters. I’m surprised that they didn’t life up the giant cross at the end. But maybe that was the trick of it all, and mind you it did look heavy. I may do a full review of the show in a future post, so watch this space!
I had a chilled evening to say the least. This consisted of walking my dog and the first part of The Masked Singer (where they had a theme of the circus). I then moved onto watching Thursdays addition of Hollyoaks. With Marlena revealing a secret to Felix, it may change everything. But on the flip side I’m happy that nadira is starting a new life, as after what she has been through she deserves happiness in her life. But I also have a feeling that Carter is leading Lucas down a dangerous path. This was then followed by checking my socials and having one Korean session, knowing full well that I needed my sleep.
Sunday: To kick off the morning I watched abit of Singin In The Rain before work. I was going to watch Doctors, but I needed an energy boost. And my love for this musical has really helped lift my mood. This was then followed by my shift at work. Even though I was still feeling shit mentally, I mama he’s to get through the shift. I even managed to play some darts on my break, where I did quite well considering I only just started not too long ago.
I did have a productive afternoon to day the least which started with watching the rest of the masked singer during lunch. I won’t say who the latest celebrity was to avoid spoilers, but let’s say it did give me a surprise. This was then followed by learning some more Korean and French followed by some yoga. I did it earlier as I was going to Steve’s house to look at the footage of what we had so far, and with Steve not being here to keep an eye on things next week there is some pressure. So all the more reason for me to do it.
I then moved onto watching an episode of Doctors. This was where a girl is trying to connect with her deceased mother, and her father may have learnt a thing or 2 from her during the episode. Something tells me that it may be the start of them reconciling since their mothers death, something I know far too well.
I then went to Steve Watson’s house to look at abit of the footage and what needs shooting. We knew that this would be alot to take in and that it will be difficult with some of the actors not being here. I know this is my first time directing and making a film, so I’m not expecting it to be Hollywood standard, but it obviously can’t be bad. I know this is me getting in my own way, as I know I’m more stronger than I think. And with Steve not being here on the Sunday it gives me abit of more pressure. But I also know that I’ve got an amazing crew who will help me out when I need it.
I then ended the day with moving onto for days addition of Hollyoaks. This one was a belter, and with the lead up to the dramatic week, things have got suspense. I also feel that Peri did the right thing in the end, even though it’s not what James wanted, in the long run it’s the right thing. I then ended the day as always with checking my socials.
What have I learnt this week? Like in JCS, there Will be trials and tribulations. But it’s all about how I overcome them that’ll make me in the words of Sia, the greatest.
See you soon for another blog. Until next time…
This is The Autistic Actress Signing off :)
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