Hello world! Welcome back to another blog! Here is what I got up to and how it’s been a week where I stepped out of my comfort zone!
Monday: As always I started Monday with going to work. And I also watched some strictly before I started. With regards to contestants, obviously being the Corrie fan I am, I would definitely back Ellie Leach, as she keeps improving every week, and also Layton Williams who has done a brilliant job on bringing Rizzo to life.
I then went to work and take actually okay, and after the feedback on my accent for my self tape I got to work on that and I even managed to get through the whole of my script for class (only just). Also one of my colleagues asked me to go on checkouts as someone called in sick. But at least he managed to let me know in advance, and with it not being busy I actually felt okay. Although I did get anxious towards the end thinking I wasn’t going to get my shopping in time, and I forgot something. But I didn’t worry as I would simply get it on the way before I get my train (as it’s only across the road where I am).
After watching the rest of strictly whilst I had some lunch, I then looked at lines for my audition tape and my showreel scene. This time I made sure that I followed some of the technique from practical aesthetics and providing I definitely know the given circumstances, the wants and the who want when we’re and why o should be okay. I then looked at a recording from the actors workshop Nottingham just to recap quickly on practical aesthetics. And it’s a good job that I did, as I’ve missed out an important part… the as if needs to link to the essential action and not the actual scene itself. This has helped me a lot as then when I look at the script I can make that note and really dig deep into it.
Soon afterwards I did some yoga, which was the same one I did last week. Like last week, this one helped me to release some more tension from my body, and afterwards (especially when she mentions that physical feelings can be in the form of tingling), I felt like a whole new person, with parts of my body feeling unblocked.
I then moved onto the gruelling but important task of packing my overnight bag for stoke. Now that it’s actually getting real I feel abit nervous, as this is my first overnight trip by myself since the pandemic. But premier inn are always good and as Lenny Henry would say “a great nights sleep, guaranteed”. And they do have a good repoir, and I’ve already done things that scared me, so this should be a piece of cake. Whilst I packed my overnight bag, also de-cluttered some stuff from my other bags, and knowing what to bring for the journey. I’ve always been a sucker for a hoarder, so this was crucial so I don’t loose anything on the way. But providing I have my purse and phone then that’s all I need.
I then scheduled tomorrow so that I know what I’m doing before I go to stoke and when I get there, which includes to self tape. Yes I’m still slightly cautious about my Yorkshire accent, but as my acting teacher Tim Bryn Smith would say, getting it done is better than getting it perfect. To wind down, I then took my dog for a walk, followed by a nice hot shower, and some Coronation Street. Just as I thought that Paul and Billy's big day couldn't get any more perfect than this, a setback might split them back up again, but for Paul's sake I really hope it doesn't.
I then ended the day with watching the first episode of Boiling Point, created and directed by their legend that is Philip Barantini. Wow. Wow. Wow! That’s all I can say. And that was only episode 1. Following on from the feature film (where if you haven’t seen it I recommend you do so you get the idea of what to expect) I can’t wait to see what happens next after a decision on chef makes and how Carly will resolve that.
After checking my socials, I posted my third video before world mental health day tomorrow. I’m aware it was late, but for the big day tomorrow I planned to post this in the morning along with my world mental health day special on my blog for my personal accounts, so people can see it from the morning. I also did a French lesson on Duolingo to help me wind down and along with skimming through my notes of my self tape and hearing the words of both that and the showreel scene it’s safe to say I’m good to go.
Tuesday: The big day! It was travelling day. And I can’t lie I was nervous. As mentioned before this is my first time travelling and staying over solo since the pandemic, but I’ve done things that previously scared me before, and the only way to help me grow as a person is to step outside of my comfort zone. But I did some much needed jobs before I went.
This morning I watched the rest of Fridays Gogglebox. I was going to watch some Doctors as well and gather some day player roles form that show along with Hollyoaks and Coronation Street. But I had other stuff to do that needed more priority, so I made the decision to wait until I can see if I can get time to do some of them before I go
.
To help me get ready for the day I did some paper yoga. I was stuck between that and a home workout, but I was already running about trying to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything as it was, so I did a yoga session to not only get that adrenaline but also calm me down when I get my other jobs done along with making sure I’ve got everything ready.
One main job I got done was filming my Self-tape from my agent with the help of an Act On this member. But I’m surprised how much work it takes to upload something and to also sign the agreement for if I do get the job. But my agent was pleased with my Yorkshire accent, and fingers crossed it could be the making of something special. But I also know that I'm proud of myself whatever the outcome is. Shortly afterwards I edited my weekly highlights from last week (which is out now and you can see here: ) and as it was also World Mental Health Day today, I posted a special blog about how I deal with my mental health on a bad day, and also about how I deal with the anniversary of my mums death. For a quick access please see the posts attached here:
Anniversary: https://lucyelizabethmoon.wixsite.com/lucy-moon-aka-the-au/post/anniversaries-how-to-get-through-it
World Mental Health Day: https://lucyelizabethmoon.wixsite.com/lucy-moon-aka-the-au/post/world-mental-health-day-autism-addition
The final task was to make sure I had everything for travelling, and because there was a co-op 10 minutes from the hotel, I knew then that I would be okay. I then had an early lunch whilst watching the rest of episode 2 of the long shadow. I wasn’t originally going to do this, but I’ve decided to finish what I started which was this episode of the programme. I’ll admit I still wasn’t getting into it, but maybe that was because I had the trip on my mind, but one thing that stood out to me in that episode was Ruth Madeley and her wonderful performance as a police officer. She was friendly, calming and definitely reassuring of the person ringing her about what to do when the ambulance comes.
During the journey I spent some time learning some more Korean and French, completing my daily goals and getting a good session in whilst I could. I also noticed the police coming on the train when we got to Nottingham. I wasn’t sure what to expect of it, as it was quite scary. But I think they were coming on to make sure that everything was okay, and that they got off at derby. My guess was there was an incident at Derby and they needed to come on as it was their only way of transport. After that curious encounter, I looked at my script for showreel day tomorrow, making sure I knew my given circumstances and objectives but also be open to interpretation on the day. I also wrote down my 3 step plan on practical aesthetics for a script for class after showreel filming, and whilst I'm still iffy on the topic, I'm slowly getting there, and as long as I know those 3 steps I can continue to develop this skill.
After those activities I enjoyed the rest of the journey to Stoke and taking in the views. As I approached Uttoxeter, I noticed a racecourse there. And it did make me wonder if it was one of the main courses you see on tv. I guess I’ll never know. I then headed to stoke, only to realise that I was an hour late, and there really was nothing to do other than wait for the taxi. So I used this time to look at my social media stories, making sure I'm up to date with everything, which I was. Soon enough, my taxi came.
The taxi man on the way down was really lovely. He was polite, calm and someone you just wanted to hang around with. He asked me lots of questions about my life, and he admired me taking in the view of the strange world that is Stoke. He also said that the people in Leek are lovely, so that made my upcoming stay even more optimistic, and before I knew it my journey to my hotel was over. I never got his name, but he was a face I'll definitely remember.
I was surprised on how small this premier inn was, as I pictured it bigger. But that didn't stop me from enjoying a wonderful stay at a company where as Lenny Henry would say, "A great night's sleep, garunteed". My room was lovely. A comfy bed, a big tv and most of all it felt homely. What was not to love! I couldn't help but film some Miranda style content for a upcoming sketch, so watch this space.
After checking in with the family to let them know I survived the journey, I had a wonder to the co-op in preparation for tomorrow. This was because as my room didn't have a fridge, I aim to get some lunch to take with me to save me having to get some whilst I wait for my train. But I couldn't help and get some milk for my room and some Halloween style Oreos whilst I was there. I even stopped at the farmfoods there, and I made the decision to get my lunch at co-op tomorrow, as unlike farmfoods, they do individual packs of sandwiches and snacks, which was what I needed.
I then got my takeaway. Although I realised I haven’t edited my burger within that order properly, so I had to go and get a burger from somewhere else, embarrassed to say that I wanted a burger from there as well. The rest of my food did cool off a bit but that didn't stop me from enjoying a nice meal whilst I watched a past episode of Life narrated by the legend that is David Attenborough. I remember this episode well from my childhood, as it was a popular show back then, and the episode was about Primates, the one which when I look back to my childhood, I can even visualise some of the creatures within that category, like the howler monkies and the ring tailed lemurs. It really was a magical moment that helped regulated me after the order mix up. Although like I always do with takeaways I order too much, as when I had my cheesecake for supper, i felt the food wall approaching. This left a big chunk of food left which I know I wouldn't be able to finish, but because I don’t have a fridge in my room I had to put it in the bin, but nicely, then leave the recyclable stuff outside of the bin.
I then chilled out by watching some clips on YouTube and going back to my childhood and playing my Nintendo DSi. This was proper nostalgia from my childhood, even though I failed at most of the games on there that I use to thrive at lol. I then ended my night in stoke with noting some jobs from Spotlight to apply for when I get back home (as there was no rest for the wicked) and read some of my Stephen Hawking book to help wind down.
Wednesday: Today was the day. Showreel day! But not before I had a delicious breakfast to set me up for the day. I managed to pre pay for this and I’m glad I did, as I managed to get some proper British grub down my system.
After a quick trip to the co-op to get some lunch, I then made my way to Chris Stone's house to rehearse and film my scene. Although it didn’t get off to the best start, as the taxi was 10 minutes late, which I let Chris know about. I was then greeted by his lovely dog Nugget, but I think he could smell my dog for miles off. Mind you they do have a good sense of smell. After rehearsing the scenes and making sure we have the right costumes, we then went to film the scene. It was a beautiful location, and a perfect set-up for the scene itself. We managed to get it done what felt like forever but it was within the hour and 15 minutes, which I was surprised about. Mainly because I thought we’d be there for longer.
When I got back to the station I couldn’t help but buy myself a slushie! It wasn’t cheap but I needed something cool and delicious, and I managed to catch an early train back home as if I missed that one I would’ve had to wait 2 hours for the next one. During my journey back I had a relaxing one. I mainly did a little bit of my actors workshop homework, which was just I recap the points of my 3 step plan for breaking down the script on practical aesthetics. Afterwards along with googling some hunger games facts for leisure, I just simply enjoyed the ride back home whilst I had my lunch.
I then got back to unpacking my case, which was quicker than I expected. I then had a relaxing session of French and abit of Korean before gathering some day player roles from coronation street, Hollyoaks and doctors. This took me longer than I expected, but I’m almost up to date with every role and scene from those serial dramas. After taking my dog for a walk, I then tucked into a delicious Burger King and watched Mondays addition of Doctors. What a meal it was, and my dad even got me a fanta frozen drink, which I was slightly cautious of as I already had a slushie, so I was worried it may have made me abit sick. Thankfully it didn't and it was a meal well deserved.
Before long I did my online session with the actors workshop Nottingham. In this session we looked at a variety of things. These included an audition for a voiceover in an Australian accent (which is closely linked with a cockney accent), some more practical aesthetics and a monologue in prep for actor jam. To start with we did an exercise where we had to call someone and when we finished my teacher said to remember where we stopped as we may come back to it later on. It was then followed by another exercise linking to practical aesthetics, and I’m glad I volunteered as tribute for one of the exercises. This technique has always been a tricky one to understand, and whilst I’m still getting the gist of it, practicing it on the form of exercises do help. Once we did the exercises, we looked at scripts from the series Succession, and even though we didn’t have time to show one, we would do it next week along with looking at monologues some of us have.
To end the day I tweaked my blog page and also watched some clips from the hunger games. This was then followed by checking my social media profile as always.
Thursday: It was a busy one for me. As always I watched Mondays addition of Hollyoaks before I went to the gym. It was a thought session for me though, as it was my first day of my “female problem” (ladies you’ll know what I’m on about). But I did what I could and I gave 100% into what I had. But the important part is that I was consistent, and that I had to get it done rather than getting it perfect, doing 2 more rounds of 2 exercises at home to make up the time. On the way there and back I looked at some more messages to directors, where I drafted out a message to one and sent it on the way back. But I did make a little typing error, but I’m hoping he’ll see past it.
As soon as I did my exercise, I took my dog for walk and had a shower as always. I then got to work on noting some jobs in Mandy and Spotlight, followed by cooking some delicious pork loins for later on. I was surprised by how tiny they are, but with potatoes and vegetables to go with it, I think my dad and sister will be just fine. Before lunch, my final task was to type out the character briefs for my short film so that people can audition. I had to make sure I went into as much detail as I could, and also gave them the choice for most of them to either improvise a scene linking to the personality of the character or a section from the script itself.
I then had some lunch whilst watching Tuesdays Hollyoaks and Tuesdays Doctors. And this was the episode where Scarlett goes for lunch with Suni, where I do think that he genuinely likes Scarlett. I also still think that he’s the better match for her even though she’s with Ollie. I also got a message from Leo long about the update and also asking if it’s a paid job. I couldn’t reply straight away as I was off to work when I got it, but I would promise to message him when I come back.
I then headed off to work. I was abit emotional at first (probably because of my female problem) but after that it was good. One of my colleagues who went away recently came back today, and I could not be more happy to see them. Yes Waitrose is not a life long thing, but sometimes it’s the people you work with that matter. And he was one of them.
I then got back home and had my delicious tea. Even though the pork loins were small the veggies and potatoes really complemented the meal and made it more filling. This was followed by the finishing touches to the character briefs and the auditions for my film, which is now ready to send off for those wanting to act in the film. As always I then checked my socials whisky learning abit more French. I even managed to note some more spotlight jobs and to nudge my agent on the ones I’ve spotted. I’ve noticed that she also subbed me for some of the roles I applied for, which was excellent, and even put me forward for a show I watch on a regular basis, which is also great! Fingers crossed they’ll want me to tape for it, and it’ll give me a second chance for that first tv break.
Friday: I started the day with watching Wednesdays episode of Doctors. This was Kiza Deen’s final appearance as PC Claudia Briant, and I’m sad that she’s left, as I know she made Bear really happy. But Kiza did a marvellous performance on the role, and I can’t wait to see what she does next. I then managed to send off the characters, their briefs and some scripts for some of the main characters. They did ask when the deadline is, and even though I know the date I had to double check, so I said to them that I would look after work.
Work itself was a mixture of emotions. For some reason I started to get worked up, and I thought I would have to go back upstairs to the quiet room. But thankfully I managed to sway through it and got the picking done by midday. I even managed to run through 2 self tapes I’m filming next week for my socials and to send to casting directors at the end of the month, with having to tweak my self written one to edit on my laptop later.
During my lunch break I briefly noted down the main points in my scene. Self written self-tape I noted the who, what, where, when and why as I feel like that needed more researching, and with the pre written tape, because I know what this role is supposed to intel, I simply noted down my given circumstances and objectives.
During the second half of my shift, I once again nearly got overwhelmed. Mind you I was thinking about change without warning again, so that could’ve probably set me off. But today made me realise what I needed to do to best serve my needs, which was to get a hi vis vest that says to not talk to me as I’m overstimulated. Yes part of my job is to talk to customers, but I can only do it for a certain period of time, and now that we’re coming up to the Christmas period, I may need something like this now more than ever.
When I got back from work, I made a start on making drafts of cover letters on my Mandy profile and also resent the updated character briefs to some of my cast of the short film. At this point I still haven’t told them when the deadline is but I will get onto it ASAP. Soon afterwards I posted my conversations with friends review only some of my socials before heading out to the shops and taking the dog for a walk. Whilst I did that I listened to a weekly act on this broadcast from 2nd and from last Monday, where that was a fine example of multi tasking and a job needed to do. When I got back I did a relaxing session of yoga, and it did wonders for my back. Being tall as it is I’m more prone to back pain, but those stretches really did do the trick, and it was a new practice as well. It’s safe to say I’ll be doing that again next time I come back after my long shift at work (which will be in 2 weeks time as I’ve got a Friday booked off work).
The evening was a relaxed one, as I took my dog for a walk and had a lovely hot shower, which was much needed after the busy week I've had. This was then followed by scheduling tomorrow, and also doing some surveys. Although I think there was a technical error on some of them, as they either said link expired or it didn't work properly on my iPad. So I simply deleted the ones that didn't serve me or I feel will expire soon and kept the ones that will.
I then watched episode 3 of The Long Shadow and Wednesdays addition of Hollyoaks. I really hope Dave will try and get the help he needs now that Tony knows his secret, because if not it doesn’t look good for him. And even though I’ve seen what happens with Yazz and her health situation, fingers crossed she’ll get the treatment she needs.
I then ended the day as always by checking my socials and learning some more Korean and French. And I managed to complete unit 4 of French again with one heart remaining, which was an achievement
Just before I headed off to bed I send an update to the group on when the audition tapes need to be in by. I said to them 25th October at the very latest so we can have it cast the day before Halloween so that then we have 2 months to rehearse ready for filming in January after Christmas. A perfect way to end the day.
Saturday: As always it was my morning shift, but not before I watched thursdays addition of Doctors. I must say, the moment near the end between Suni and Scarlett was beautiful to see, but with the next few episodes coming up next week, I'll be interested to see how it plays out from there. I then headed off to work, but because it was the final workshop today, I had to be at work earlier so I could finish earlier. But little did I know that today wouldn't be an easy one.
My dad had to take me into work today, as my taxi didn't turn up, but it was only to find that even though I did tell my taxi to pick me up earlier than usual this time, there must've been a slight error in the process. I know it's no ones fault, but because it made me a few minutes late it did not set my day off right. I think the only thing that kept me going was my music, as it helped me to regulate myself. Although I had to go to the quiet room for 45 minutes due to getting overwhelmed by what has happened, and was more worried for my dads wellbeing than mine. But I got through it eventually.
I then attended the final workshop for Actor Jam. In this session we looked at each others monologues for feedback, but as soon as it was finished, I had to leave as after this mornings events, I was still struggling and I still felt discombobulated (I don't know what it means but that's what my dad says). It was a good session though, and for my monologue it was good feedback. This included a trigger warning at the start, not to make it too heavy in a certain moment and to feel rather than push an emotion. I have trusted my teacher since I joined the workshop, so I will definitely take into account every piece of direction he gives me.
To help wind chill out, I watched the first half of Sex Education whilst I had my lunch. I was going to take the dog out for a quick walk but because she already went out earlier I decided to take her out later. And also because of the incident that happened earlier even getting out the house to take the bins out feels like climbing up Mount Everest. So I thought a little bit of comedy was just what the Scott’s ordered.
To kick off the afternoon I looked at my Aussie audition which was posted on the actors workshop casting page. During this I also did the first part of recapping my teachers notes just so I can remind myself of what he said when it comes to the accent. And also by changing the wording of certain phrases to get the accent right I should be on the right track.
Read more of Stephen Hawkings book and finished the rest before I went to bed later on. What a read it was! Yes the work he does is still something I’m not quite understanding yet, but I need to give some credit to the guy. To living with motor neurone disease and being initially given 2-3 years left to live, he broke the barriers and lived a long life whilst achieving so many great things. I think that his work has helped his life expectancy grow, as he’s using his brain constantly to develop new discoveries. I’m not dying it’s right, but the more he used his brain the longer he lived. Just one of my possible theories. But one thing I’ve learnt from the main man himself is “when there’s life there’s hope”.
I then spent the rest of the afternoon scheduling tomorrow and don’t some surveys. I had a lot of them to do but I’ll also get rid of the ones which I feel don’t serve me. After briefly going to the shops to get some dishwasher tablets, I took my dog for a walk, and it was lovely to spend some time with my fur baby. I can see why they call a dog man’s best friend.
After having a nice hot shower, I then recapped my notes on my actor jam monologue. Some of them I agreed with to as I did do them before, but hearing it again confirmed what I need to do to prep for when I look at it again. This was then followed by watching abit of strictly whilst I had my tea and as always it did not disappoint. This was then followed by of course watching Thursdays Hollyoaks and the first half of Gogglebox.
As the night drew in as always I checked my socials and learnt Korean and French. It wasn’t for long though as before I knew it I was out like a lamp. And I needed to as well after the day I had.
Sunday: I woke up this morning and possibly feeling the best I’ve felt after a wobbly day yesterday. As always I watched abit of Strictly Come Dancing and it really did set me up for the day. I then went to work, and it was a nice surprise to see a taxi driver who has taken me to work before but I’ve not seen for a long time. He’s about the same age as me so we do have the same outlook on life, and despite an initial problem with the card machine, it was lovely to see him again.
I then started work, where one of my colleagues told me that there was no picking to be done. I knew they couldn’t tell me sooner but at least I got a pre warning before I started. During work, I rehearsed my scripts and my self tapes. Although I’ve noticed that two wards the end of the gift I still wasn’t feeling right. I was closed off, I didn’t want to talk and I was slow. My guess was because of my blip yesterday, I was still feeling the affects from it.
After my lunch whilst watching more strictly, I started the afternoon off by catching up on an actors workshop recording in preparation for next week. I feel I finally got the grip of Practical Aesthetics, as for some scripts it's easy to do. I then caught up on the first hour of an act on this podcast with Philip Barantini. I was hooked on it right from the start, as I listened to him on a podcast nearly a year ago, which told him the inspiring story of the original boiling point film and some BTS of when they wrapped up on the short. And I couldn’t wait to catch up on the rest the next day.
Shortly afterwards I brain dumped stuff I needed to do next whilst I listened to an act on this broadcast. And now I was up to date with broadcasts from the Mondays I’ve listened to. Along with posting my review of Tony Blake on a recent act on this podcast, I then did some yoga and walked my dog. My usual Sunday evening routine as always after a long tough day.
I then settled into the evening to watch some Coronation Street (which my dog clearly loved as you can see above) whilst tucking into a milkybar ice lolly. This included the first half of Mondays episode where Steven catches Tim in the act, and for Tim himself there could be dangerous consequences. I won’t reveal too much. I then watched fridays Hollyoaks, and even though Misbah shouldn’t have revealed a huge secret she did a few months ago, I’m glad that Sharon was willing to give her another chance after that, as you would do anything to help your loved ones. I also hope that Romeo will soon wake up to see what Rayne was really like, and get the help that he needs.
As soon as I watched the show, I caught up on the last 10 minutes of the recording from my acting class on Wednesday. I’ll admit, I’m not sure if I’m able to come plate the homework for class, but providing I know my lines and give at least one option for the topic in question I should be okay. I’ve also made the decision that if I don’t get selected straight away for actor jam, then I’m going to take a risk and also submit a piece by William Shakespeare. This played on my mind since that morning, whilst playing to my strengths is a good thing sometimes, I’m not sure if they’ll want to see something different, baring in mind that this is my third time entering the event. Who knows and only time will tell.
I then started to check my socials and also learnt some more languages. This was then shortly followed by applying for a job on Mandy that needed to be in by tomorrow and updating my budgeting table before the start of a new week.
What have I learnt this week? It’s important to do the things that scare me. As that way I’m on the path of growth, I’m developing new skills and my growing my independence. I’ve also learnt when to take a step back, as after Saturdays blip it’s made me more aware of how I should look after myself.
See you soon for another blog. Until next time…
This is the autistic actress signing off :)
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