Hello World! Once again welcome back to another blog. Here is what I got up to the week commencing 14th August, which I feel was the best week I've had in a long time:
Monday: On Monday it was my second day off my day job, and it was well needed. I made a start to the day by going to the gym, where I did a leg session. I also started another Diary Of A CEO podcast with Billionaire Richard Branson on the way down, and what he had to go through that made him the person he is today.
I also got a message from the musician finally about how he has not been in a bad space. It made me question as to if he does want to get to know me. Yes it'll hurt for a second time but learning from past mistakes I can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do, as it wasn't long ago he was with someone else. Maybe he didn't want to use me as a rebound, and I respect that if it was the case.
I somehow lost my umbrella at the gym, so I asked my dad if he can pick me up and he did. He is a good egg sometimes and I love him for it.
After a nice relaxing shower I hoped on an Act On This podcast, with Helen Kelly from International artist management. One of the clients in the agency is Michelle Jeram, who was in BBCs Granite Harbour and recommended her to Ross for a chat. Even though I've bene offered rep by someone else, its good to listen to other agents as when I do finally sign the contract with the one offering me rep, I know what I should and should not do when going on this journey with them.
I then watched the first few minutes of Conversations With Friends and caught up on Coronation street before my colleague came round to help me film for the documentary. It was a very interesting afternoon, as whilst I couldn't hear my dads answers fully, I got snippets of them. My nan was a different story.
She got more emotional as not only was it nearer the time where my mum died 11 years ago, but also she knew she had hear reservations about it. But what we wanted from it was honesty, and even though there were a few tears (from my nan which for me was not a surprise), it shows that emotion and care. And that was what we needed.
Shortly afterwards I then mentioned to my colleague about some things before he goes away which includes getting in touch with Newark advertiser and Radio Newark for the call out. I know I need to make a name for myself, so these two platforms along with my social media platforms are the main companies I need to get in contact with.
After briefly checking my social media stories, I then re-did Bullet Proof Actor Module 4 (with the first bit before tea and the rest after), trying to fill in the workbook or as much of it as I can. And after rewatching it I know I still have some limiting beliefs on money which I need to break out from. But having that awareness is a big step itself, and having it as a starting point will go a long way. And I’ll need it for when I shoot my project, knowing I’ll need to invest in travel when meeting other creatives.
Shortly after I watched episode 2 of Conversations With Friends (I did watch the first bit earlier but I managed to catch up). I already can’t wait to see how it unfolds, as one of the main characters starts to develop feelings for a married man. And I’ll leave it there as I don’t want any spoilers.
I then relaxed into the evening with watching the rest of celebrity master chef and then learning some more Korean and French. But that didn’t stop there...
The final thing I did was post my love Island sketch and briefly ran through my lines in prep for recording parts of my other sketches. I was unsure if I left it too late to pair my love island sketch (as I’m following the algorithm of everything that’s happening to make sure I stay with the trends) but as long as I get it out there that’s all that matters.
Tuesday: Tuesday was a nice day. I started the day by hitting the gym and listening to the rest of The Diary Of A CEO with Richard Branson, and even though the reality of the fact that we will all die eventually, it’s still an insightful podcast to help set me up for the day.
I then started to film some material for my sketches which I’m going to edit and post at least one of by next week if not next week at the very latest. But not before I took my dog for a walk. I was surprised I didn’t flip during it but I managed to get the majority of my filming done, as I can finish the rest tomorrow and Thursday morning before I go on my Peaky Blinders trip on Friday.
I then went through my emails and noted a few more job applications on spotlight and Mandy. I even applied for one where I could possibly perform in Grantham this Sunday night coming. I know now I need to take every opportunity near to me as I can. So this felt like the perfect chance.
During lunch I finally started to watch the first episode of heartstopper from series 1. I’m starting to wonder why I didn’t start this show sooner, and this was also casted by the same people who casted line of duty, as he’s a big advocate of those from the deaf/disabled and LGBTQ+ community and giving them the chance to shine. I’m definitely hooked on this series and I can't wait to watch the rest of series 1 and start series 2 ASAP.
After briefly checking my socials, I then started to craft some notes my Oliver! blog. I originally planned it for this morning but I was in the flow of applying and noting the jobs to apply for that I totally forgot. But I reacted well, as I simply just made more notes of what I remembered and making key points in the show so that when I come back to it I can expand on those points.
I then headed to The Actors Workshop Nottingham. But before I went I helped a lady find her way to the platform to Lincoln. It may not seem like much to anyone else, but for me, it felt like this was a real achievement. As years ago I wouldn’t even think of doing something like that. And the kindness seemed to be coming back to me, as a stranger kindly used her club card for my shopping. I may not have got any money off it, but that is a fine example of how one act of kindness can go a long way. And now I need to get a Tesco club card!
I then did my acting class, where we looked at screen acting based on Tim’s experience in shadowing a director. We did this by picking a script, doing a line run, and rehearse it. The majority of us picked the same script, but it’s how we set them that’s important. so some of us set it as two friends being clicked out, and me and my partner did it as a teacher and a student. Even though we didn’t get redirection due to time, we did a pretty good job. I aim to email my teacher (as he’s account is still hacked) about what redirection he would’ve given me so I can record it and put it onto my socials to perform.
I then watched the second episode of Heartstopper. Even though I know through social media platforms what happens I just can’t help but feel the tension of the journey. I then as always ended the day with learning yet some more Korean and French.
Wednesday: Wednesday was a beautiful day. As always I started the day with a walk to the gym and took my dog for a walk. I then filmed another section for one of my sketches (which I may need to refilm tomorrow as the quality and location wasn’t great) and applied for a couple of Spotlight jobs.
I then made my way into town to see an outdoor show. I was unsure of getting the bus at first, so I initially rang my grandad. But then I decided to get the bus, and I’m glad I did as traffic started to get heavy.
I then realised the show started at 1:30pm and not 1pm but I took the time to have a wonder around town and it was pleasantly surprising. Even though I nearly lost my phone again, I had a good walk.
The show itself was really cute. I went to see the jungle book with that same company and I can definitely see why the children like it. The songs they did were very similar to last years show but fitting the characters. But I think sometimes the same songs are the best songs, and when you hear a song you haven’t heard in a while it really does hit differently.
This is the sort of genre I aim to excel in my acting career, as once I’m used to my new surroundings I can be a quirky and energetic person. So I’m going to get in contact with the company ASAP in the hope I can audition for this company. And who knows? This time next year you could see me performing in my hometown.
I then went to do some shopping and got most of the stuff for my cooking tomorrow. I bought a fish related meal and some more ice lollies, but with waiting at the bus station for 30 minutes, I don’t know if they’ll be able to withstand the heat without melting. But knowing me I won’t eat them straight away.
On the way back I got a message to say that the people from the job in Grantham would like to book me. It came as a huge shock but I felt honoured at the same time. But after sending me the details of where it is, its only a 13 minutes drive from my place to the venue. Perfect but also depending on how late it finishes. So I will try and book the next day off of my day job but if I can't and I say yes to it (as I'm going to think about it overnight) then I'll have to suck it up the next day. But sometimes in life that's what I need to do. And knowing that I've only got 4 hours in the morning is also a bonus.
As soon as I got home I then gathered some more scenes and possible day player roles from coronation street and then worked on some more Korean. I was originally going to schedule it for 30 minutes but I ended up nearly doing an hour. I was going to possibly film some more bits to add to my sketches, but after a day out and also my dog being a pain (don’t ask!) I decided to wait until tomorrow morning. And also it was at that point I felt my energy levels starting to drop as unless if anyone is free in the evening or if a self tape comes in for the next day, if creating my own work or filming a self tape, I work best in the morning as I have the most energy.
I then had a lovely chilli dinner whilst watching Celebrity Masterchef. I normally don’t like the beans in the chilli, so I often leave them and have the rest of the meat, rice and nachos. But it was still yummy and my dad is a good chef really.
Before then I got a message from my colleague about the callout for the film. I now aim to look at it and tweak it to make it my own. And he mentioned about the man from Newark Advertiser and how he will ring me in the morning or Friday. Friday might be a struggled as I'm obviously going out with my friends. But sometimes these things need to happen and if he calls during the day out than it is what it is. But I know it's for a good cause. My colleague did mention how we are low on budget, so we'll need at least one person of a important crew member.
It's moments like this where I wonder if I was actually able to put it off, as one minute I'm hyper fixated onto it and the next thing I slow down and stop for no reason. This is mainly due to the fact that I put too much work into it and not allowing my body to rest and relax. But looking back, I know I've come a long way, and that's what all that matters. Taking one step at a time will help me to grow into big things in the long term.
I then even had the energy to refilm parts of my upcoming sketch. I knew it wouldn’t last long, and I know if I aim for perfection it’ll just lead to overwhelm. So I did it a few times and I’m happy I got it done. They can see and hear me is all that matters, as getting it done is better than getting it perfect!
I then finished the day with gathering some scenes/day player roles from Hollyoaks and watched episodes 3 and 4 of Heartstopper series 1.
Thursday: As aways I started Thursday with a gym session whilst listening to a Steven Bartlett podcast. In this one he interviewed Will.I.Am. I'm already hooked, but I won't say much as like Steven told me to, "Keep this to yourself". Before I got onto the weights section at the gym, I got a message from the musician to give him some space. This felt a little unusual. I'm aware I my have messaged him too much, and I'm aware he is in a bad state, but I was only just trying to help. But I have a feeling that space is might what he needs, and so I simply messaged him back to say I'll leave him alone.
I the took my dog for a walk and finished filming the rest of the footage needed for my two sketches. I knew which versions would make the cut, but I'm going to leave the rest until the weekend, as I don't want to get myself overwhelmed. But them main thing is that i did it, and knowing I'm going out for the day tomorrow is something to be proud of.
I then started cooking the tea with my nans help. It's always a pleasure having her coming round to help me cook. This time we had a fish dinner and I couldn't wait to eat it later on.
I then continued to apply for jobs on Mandy (where the one in Grantham was already taken but as they say "Onwards and upwards"), and then it was time to have my lunch in the sun. Afterall, it was perfect weather for it.
I then updated my contacts of people from the industry, from writers, production companies and directors. This was a important task that needed to be done, as yes Casting Directors are in charge of bringing people in for the director to see, but as I said before it's the directors that mainly look for the day player roles in show like Coronation Street, Hollyoaks and Doctors. So trying to keep everything up to date was a much needed task and I did feel or the more better for it.
But I tell you something, I during that task I feel like my head just wants to explode. As the security guard who asked for my number would not get the message to give me some space. Not that he hasn't done anything wrong, as having an open mind I don't know him fully as a person, but most of the time when I say no, I mean NO! And with the musician telling me to give him some space, the last thing I needed was chatter. But it will eventually come to a point where I will just block him. And if it does get to the point where he gives me grief at work (again I know he may not be the type of person but I do have my boundaries), sometimes you need to do what you have to do.
After updating my connections document, I spent some time learning some more Korean and French and gathered some day player roles and scenes.
I then tidied my room and made sure I have some bits like snacks ready for tomorrow whilst listening to a podcast. This was by someone who I connected with through Instagram and he along with his co presenter did a grand job. And I definitely can’t wait for the next few episodes.
After straightening my hair and taking the dog for a walk, I then watched abit of Coronation Street with my dad. We’re still not up to date but we’re gradually getting there. And I still know what happens in future episodes, so at least it’s fun not telling him what happens next
I then looked at the half way reflection of bullet proof actor, and after listening to what Ross Petch and Matt Hall have to say, I know exactly my answers when I come to fill in the workbook.
I then finished off the evening with watching conversations with friends and Hollyoaks. This episode of conversations with friends in particular really hooked onto me, as the character of Frances overthinks a lot like myself, and I can sense that she just wants to be loved. Even though I see she has a really good friend in Bobbi, a job which links to her passion and being friends with a professional writer, I can totally see where she’s coming from.
And I feel that my rubbish start to the evening may have ended on a high. As after a brief message from a BGT finalist who’s also autistic like me, it’s safe to say that you never know what or who might be around the corner.
Friday: Friday was an exciting day. After watching some Hollyoaks at breakfast, I was going back to Birmingham to take part in the Peaky Blinders: The Raid at Escape Live! It was a lot of fun! Initially my other friend was going to be late but as soon as he get there, he definitely helped us to save the day. I won’t give away too much, but let’s just say that it took us a while to complete the escape room and with one minute to spare, we were officially Peaky Blinders! I even got a picture with Tommy himself at the end! Quite possibly the best day I've ever had!
Afterwards we then had another wonder around the city. I bought 2 more books from worlds apart, and I can’t wait to see what they had to offer. I'll admit I haven't read the other books I previously got yet, and there are books which I liked but I knew I wasn't going to get. But I decided to get two books which I know it would take me a while to read but it was something I know I would read.
We then had a drink at a place called Club Paradiso. Even though I had a soft drink, I definitely needed it! And the place itself was beautiful, and if the weather was more sunnier (as it wasn't very nice on that day), then I would say that this would be the new Ibiza but in Birmingham (and I knew that it would be too much for my sensory overload if I actually went to Ibiza lol :) )
After one of my friends left for an early train, me and my other friend went to Nando’s for tea. I haven’t been in ages but it was quite possibly the best thing I’ve had in a long time. And I must say, one of the waiters were easy to look at in the eye so it definitely made the experience more exciting!
On the way back along with buying some Millie's Cookies, we talked about life and how far we’ve come since joining the actors workshop Nottingham. I definitely wouldn’t be the person I am today and I’m so thankful for meeting amazing and inspirational people. And these included the two that came with me to the escape room today.
Saturday: My final day off my last week off work. As usual I didn’t get up at least 2 hours before my alarm, but maybe that’s my body telling me to wake up. But I still decided to stay in bed until my alarm went off just so I can relax. As it’s not very often I have a lie in and yes whilst it’s important to get up at the same time especially if being a busy creative like me, it’s also important to look after your body and give it a rest so that when I’m back into routine I come back stronger.
Whilst I was in bed, I learnt some lines for an audition which needs to be in by Tuesday, so I learnt the lines for it. I thought I did well this morning, but I've learnt that in a short space of time it's about repetition. But I think providing I know the Given Circumstances, Objectives and the Who, What, Where, When and Why, I will be okay. I also looked at my self written self tape inspired by a social Gathering during the Coronation and also noted what happened in my dreams. This may sounded odd, but sometimes the best work does come from dreams.
I wasn’t initially going to to this, but I started filming some videos of myself singing. I know I need to work on my voice, but since doing salad days I just needed the courage to feel the fear and do it anyway. I’m yet to post it on my socials, as I have other sketches and own work I need to upload, but I will do it, it’s just the case of when. And that’s what I plan to do later on.
I then made a start on drafting a story of my experience in the escape room yesterday. I worked on this before and after lunch and I’m quite pleased that I got the first draft done so quickly. I’ll be honest I can’t remember exactly what happened. But it does have its benefits. As like with writing monologues, you write what you know and then you make it up as you go along, bringing that story element to life. I guess that’s what makes a good story I suppose.
I the edited my Some Like it Notts sketch. Again I’m yet to post my day player self tape to my socials, but as soon as I’ve done it, I’ll schedule in time to post the sketch on my socials. I had lots of fun making it, but the reality was it took me 45 minutes to get the final edit. So I hope people appreciate the hard work that goes on behind the scenes to show I loc what I do.
I then read more of Tom Parker’s biography. It got to the moment where he revealed what happened from his diagnosis. This really hit hard as the wanted were my first ever band I went to see in concert. But it was also important to raise awareness for the cancer he caught, and to also show that no matter what life throws at you, you can still be happy. And that gave me more motivation to keep going until the end of the book.
I then started to plan next week, and also learnt two scripts for very different things. One was for a job on Mandy, which needed to be in by Tuesday, and the other was for a self tape I needed to record and then eventually send to the casting team at coronation Street, Hollyoaks and doctors. This is because realistically those are the shows I need to be targeting to get my first tv role. Yes getting a lead as your first tv role can happen providing I out in the work, but I also need to remember that it’s rare as well. So for now I’m planning on just getting one scene in one of those shows for my first tv gig, and when I achieve it great, anything more than that is a massive bonus.
Later on I watched the final episode of Ruby Speaking. I felt that this was the best episode yet, as not only did things take a turn when things got heated, but I felt there was a moment where the actress who played Ruby made a valid point, and something which I can relate to. I won’t give it away as I don’t want any spoilers but it will blow your mind. This was then followed by another episode of Hollyoaks and the first half of Celebrity MasterChef .
To round off the evening, I once again checked my social media platforms (which I shouldn’t have done knowing I set my social media check for the day time, but at least I was aware of it to help me move forward) and continued learning some more Korean and French, where it was starting to get harder by the minute. But I was willing to continue in the coming days. Sunday: Sunday was the day I went back to work. We had no picking to be done but I did enjoy it for once. I then came back home to watch the send half of the woman’s World Cup final. I said to my dad if England do score try not to shout so loud as it would impact my sensory overload, but he seem we annoyed with it. Whilst I get it’s a historical event (as I’m all about female empowerment) the unexpected shouting can give me palpitations. So unless I know that there will be shouting and screaming or if someone pre warns me about it, DON’T shout knowing it’ll give me palpitations. But on the plus side it did give me the chance to write a self tape which I’m now going to film this week. After watching the rest of Celebrity Masterchef whilst I had my lunch, I then filmed a self tape for an audition on Mandy. I did it in 4 and I knew which one I was going to send, and sometimes it’s moments like that that’ll not only help me be instinctive as an actor but also not get me overwhelmed when I ask people for their opinions. I then listened to the first half of the big AOT questions session. This is where Ross Grant and Lee Petcher come on and answer questions relating to anything acting or the industry in general. Normally I wouldn’t attend these sessions as they go on, but because I’m going out for lunch tomorrow I thought I needed to get started, as I’m up early tomorrow and with a feeling of not having a sleep before I go out, I had to get started. But some of the stuff has been really eye opening and I can’t wait to continue with it tomorrow. I then finished planning the rest of my week, which along with filling it in my other book later on, it was a rare occasion that I got it done before Monday. I also did some much needed yoga to help me relax for the evening, followed by a walk with my wonderful dog. I then rounded off the day with Coronation Street (which we’re nearly caught up on now) and the first 5 minutes of Hollyoaks. A perfect way to end the week. At least I thought it was… Whilst I was getting my supper, I noticed that there weren’t any apples. I know it may not seem like a big deal to some, but for me and having a routine, when nothing goes right or I don’t have the same thing by without warning it does throw me into a flip. I asked my dad to record how it affected me as I want to show people the reality of what will happen when I go into a meltdown. Please see attached here to see the full extent of what I go through: https://youtu.be/BkPvAAntlo8?si=lHp1tCb-UNNjVpii
It didn’t help that I started my female problems that day as well. But to calm myself down, I learnt some more Korean and French, and after taking some tablets for my tummy pains, I felt relaxed and ready to take on the week ahead.
What have I learnt his week? Being self aware is the first, biggest and most challenging steps when you take on board new challenges. Once you have that self awareness, everything falls into place!
See you soon for another blog. Until next time...
This is the Autistic Actress signing off :)
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