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My Birthweek: Self-tape Request, Going Back To My Childhood And Catching Up With Old Friends

Hello world! Welcome back to another blog! As its the week where every 4 years I get to celebrate my actual birthday, it was also a week of new opportunities. Here is what I got up to on this very special week of mine!



Monday: To kick off the day I watched the rest of last Fridays addition of Hollyoaks. I admire Maxine for standing up to Dilly and how she taught Minnie what to do in the sign of danger, and I think Dilly knew she meant it. I also once again fear for Romeo after a plan from Peri gets backfired. And I fear that Kane will not be messing about anytime soon. I also think that Tom is pushing his luck with Yazz knowing what opportunity she could potentially have. 


I then of course made my way to work. This day had someone very important come in, so we had to make sure we were on it. And I thought that I did well and had no complaints. So all was swell. 


After my usual afternoon nap I had some lunch whilst I watched some Dancing On Ice and nudged my agent on some jobs on spotlight. I’ve been meaning to watch some of it for a while and I’m glad I did. But I’m madly going to stick to the movies and musicals as like strictly come dancing the costumes are the best part, and for some reason it helped my energy levels up massively. I may have been off schedule again but it was worth it. 


To kick off the afternoon I caught up on the rest of an act on this podcast with Director Jordan Hogg (where I caught up on the last 10 minutes of it in the evening). Jordan as always was a joy to have, and he said one thing that stuck out to me. My job isn’t acting, but to audition and having a chance to show what I can do. What a brilliant lesson needed, as it just makes me more grateful for getting to that next starve with the actual job itself being a massive bonus. 

After a quick couple of surveys, I did a Meisner exercise as part of my homework. This was really interesting, as after the repetition exercise, we did an exercise linking to rumours and how it’s all about reading people. And it brought up a lot of conversations both linking to small things to personal bits too. It also showed me how much detail you have to pay when doing stuff like this, and I felt that I’ve learnt more about my friend now than I have done since she joined the class. 


After a quick yoga session (where this one was all about breathing and I actually felt the energy travelling in my hips, which is very rare for me) I hopped onto the next industry ready seminar. This one was all about showreels and as my goal is to look at more of the movement side, I was keen on the dance reels in particular. I never knew that you had to have different outsiders and settings for each style, but I suppose it’s like acting showreels where you have different locations for each scene you do. This is definitely something to consider and now the next thing I’ll need to do is watch other dance reels to get the proper set out. I do also have one from previous shows so I just need to show the course leader and then hopefully I’ll get in the right direction. This was then followed by having my tea whilst watching more dancing on ice and gathering some more day player roles from coronation street. I know there’s a lot of catch up on but I will get there eventually. 


I then watched the penultimate episode of Waterloo Road. This one had it all, and I can see why the scene at the end was hard hitting. I couldn’t imagine doing the job Kim does and going through a personal crisis too is hard hitting. It’s a good job Preston and Nicky didn’t call the police, but I do fear what will happen to Tonya. As even though I get that maybe she did what she did for attention it has landed her in a place where it is literally the last thing she needs. And surely with regards to Libby and coral the CCTV footage should prove that coronal didn’t do anything. Like with Tonya, maybe Libby did what she did so she can have Mr Guthrie (her dad) all to herself in fear of people like croaks taking him away. I do hope that it’ll all work out come the last episode. 


I then of course choked my social media. But this was only from my personal account knowing I had a busy week and I needed to chill out. And along with this I did some French whilst I scheduled the next day, ready to start it off with a bang. 



Tuesday: To start off the day I watched some of the premier league darts where even though I knew who won (again) it definitely kept me energised. This was then followed by going to the gym, where I had a decent session. I also overheard someone say that there was an active dance session on, and it would’ve been something I could’ve done. But with me possibly losing my gym card again, I may need to wait to get it sorted before I sign up to any classes 


The morning was a mixture of things as always. These included making some notes on my CV and implementing them in the second edit. Already I’m seeing a massive difference, and after cutting bits out it looks so much better already. I don’t know how I’m going to implement I it with my screen stuff but I’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. 


I’ve also made the decision to not go to the salsa class tonight. Call me crazy given that one of my goals this year was to gain more movement on, I know but it’s been playing on my mind for abit. I don’t know if it’s the fact that it’s new territory which Adam my brain doesn’t like or that it doesn’t feel autistic friendly enough. But in life you need to do what’s right and I’m glad I did. and it was a good job I said no as well as my agent sent me a tape request for quite possibly a huge opportunity. I won’t say what it is, but I’m going to focus on it, have fun and not put any pressure on myself. 


At lunch I watched episode 6 of Fool Me Once (where I watched the last few minutes of it later on). I’m glad that Sami and Molly have reconciled after a brief blip in the last episode, and if that’s not the definition of a soulmate I don’t know what is. I also wondered who the figure was outside of Mayas house and that why is Shane in her house. And the revelation at the end really got me hooked. With two episodes left I can’t wait to see how this unfolds. 


To start the afternoon I drafted up my autism acceptance week darts layout and the sign up sheets whilst I had the darts in the background. And I think it did the trick as I was in the flow state, I got it done earlier than expected and I emailed 2 of my past places of education about my presentation in the hope I can present it to others on the day. Fingers crossed I can get the results I want.


To make up for not going to salsa, I decided to make Tuesday my dance afternoon. This included the basic stores for salsa recap and also doing a couple of Zumba routines. I even saw a tutorial for a recent one I did. And it’s so fascinating that the simplest moves are separately easy but when you put them altogether it’s abit complicated. But with practice I’ll be dancing like a pro and possibly add it into a possible dance showreel. And after watching a few reels on dance I can gather a general idea of what to wear for each style of dance too. This was then followed by a jazz routine I learnt a few weeks ago and also findings another video where next time I learn it it I can a new routine. Then again with time and practice I can add it into my reel where I can at least show I ca do movement with direction. And to help me cool down I took some surveys and learnt some more French. 


To settle in the evening I watched Fridays addition of Coronation Street. My dad did not expect the revelation from Joel and from the looks of things neither did Dee Dee. And given what happened in his past relationship maybe she was right to end things with him. But I wonder if given the spoilers from next week she may reconsider.


After Corrie I was on the phone to Steve Watson about the film. It was all positive and it turns out we I’ve an extra week to get it in. This was a real positive as fingers crossed once the rough cut comes in all we need to do is make the minor adjustments and then get it sent off. But after our mixed views on our editor getting it in on time, I’m glad Steve was there to help make sure he got the job done. So all in all on the up, and if by the deadline it’s still not ready then I’m not going to worry. As they’ll be other festivals to take it to. 


To end the evening I watched Mondays addition of Doctors. This episode reminded me so much of my sisters keeper, as a worried mother is so focused on getting her child better that maybe she didn’t considered her other son in the process. But I’m glad the brothers had each others back and if I’m being honest, I’m not entirely sure what happened next or what the episode concluded to. But I hope they get the answers and have the results they want. I also admire Scarlett for being honest with Suni, but given the fact that he’s back at the mill soon, let’s hope they can be professional and put their differences aside. I then finished off the day with checking my socials from my acting page and did a quick fire French session. 



Wednesday: To start off the day I watched Tuesdays addition of Doctors. And I’m impressed with how Lucas singing is, and after seeing Ross Mclaren perform in singing in the rain a couple of years ago, I’d be very surprised if Luca didn’t do the duet with Bear. I also hope that Suni will relax into the job more and not stress about Scarlett, as Al reminded him not to separate his work life from is personal life.


I then made my way to the gym where it was an arm day. Overall a good session, and as I’m writing this I’ve also been rehearsing my lines for my self tape, and that I’m now one script down for line learning. And that is a for example of making the time for other bits.  


As I got back I was a little bit late from my schedule but the important part is I got stuff done. So after walking my dog I simply recapped an industry recording session (where I’m keen to hear more about movement reels) and also applied for a few day jobs. This was surprisingly a success as I managed to apply for the jobs I needed to do in less than the time scheduled. And after a brief phone call from one of them sending over some more information I’m overall pleased with myself. 


At lunch I watched the penultimate episode of Fool Me Once. I won’t give away any spoilers, but let’s just say it’s had every surprise under the sun. This included the reason why Maya kept getting flashbacks, why Sami was getting side affects from certain things and a shock revelation from Maya herself. Not forgetting the old nanny who pepper sprayed her at the start of the series. I just can’t wait for the final episode.


As the afternoon came I finished my sign up sheets for autism acceptance week to put up at my day job. As I’m writing this I can at I’m very proud of myself, as not only am I taking control of my own life and not waiting for permission to do it, but because it’s for a charity close to my heart, it makes it even more special. Now all I need to do is get some players signed up and then I can get started.


This was then followed by filming something for a job on Mandy and starting my line learning technique for my self tape. This is where I take the first letter of each word and then start to gradually get away from the script. Even though I’ve got most of my lines learnt already it’s good to have that under my belt for that extra help. This was then followed by a French session to help me wind down. So overall a really good afternoon well spent being productive. 


To end the evening I gathered some more day player roles and scenes from Coronation Street and Hollyoaks. At this point I’m now up to date with both of them, meaning one less thing to do when the big day tomorrow comes. I also had a chat with Steve about the film and it’s all positive as the deadline has been extended again and separated into possibly 3 categories. And with a possible new venue to look at, I think it’s all upwards from here. 


Before class I watched last weeks addition of Gogglebox (where I watched the last ten minutes after class before bed). Some of the stand out moments for me was Wheel of Fortune, where I couldn’t believe that a contestant couldn’t figure out the phrase when it literally had nearly all of the letters in place. I also enjoyed love is blind where it just shows that you shouldn’t judge someone before you get to know them, and even though there may be a more traumatic reason behind this it’s still not fair on the slides in question. I do hope they find their happily ever after with someone who treats them right.


To settle into the evening I did my acting class. This was session number 4 on Meisner and I feel that this session is slowly grabbing my attention. Especially at the end when I got to do a balancing task whilst doing the repetition exercise, which yes even though it was frustrating, I actually enjoyed it. I can’t wait for next week and using our activities within the exercise.


After class I watched todays addition of Doctors. Even though I’m gutted that Bear and Luca are not singing together Kirsty was right to separate the 2 as I think they may each bring something special individually. I also get why Josie did what she did even though it’s breaking safeguarding rules for her lecture, but it’s also possibly due to the fact that because she didn’t have a lot she wanted one thing… to be noticed. But sometimes in scenarios like this it can go pair shaped. After doctors I watched the rest of Gogglebox with Margo being very cute as seen below. I honestly wonder what sort of world we live in, as the ending act was abit strange for my liking and the Goggleboxers agree with me. 

I then ended the day with checking my socials and learning some more French. I managed to complete all of my daily goals and even though I scheduled it earlier, I managed to look at questions and facts and the who what where when and why for my self tape. Yes it was only the one scene for now but for me it’s a start. And I know it’s my birthday tomorrow but I’m not going to let it be an excuse to not carry on working on it. 



Thursday: Birthday

Today was the big day. My birthday and my 6th actual birthday and to start the day off with a bang I watched Hollyoaks from Monday. I can really see how Lucas is feeling about being his true self. But with Scott nearly catching him and Dillon together, I think he’ll be the person he can confide to. I can also see how broke Dilly is abit trapping sienna, but after a medical emergency it may be a wake up call she needed.


Soon afterwards I went to the gym whilst I rehearsed some lines. Now I know what you’re thinking? “It should be a day off for her as it’s her birthday”. In some ways I should take time to relax but at the same time as someone who invests in their health, I know I wouldn’t be true to myself if I didn’t go. And also if I didn’t go it would mean there would be no room for all the deliciousness that is the food I was going to eat later on. And as I’m writing this now not only did I have a good session despite missing some boxing but I’ve now got both my lines learnt so that all I need to do is go over them before I film them on Monday and Tuesday. 


As I got back from the gym I caught up on an industry ready seminar, with my Nan came round to give me my birthday present. It was a lovely present indeed, as I got a new coat and some money. What a lovely visit it was and sometimes as I get older I remind myself that it’s the little things that matter the most. And that’s what made today special. And with me masking that one thing to help me with my acting career which is the seminar, I can honestly say I feel fulfilled. 

Before work I then watched abit of the second Sonic The Hedgehog live action movie, whilst getting a Burger King in between. I know it’s for children but sometimes you need to let the inner child take over, and I’m glad I did. And it surprisingly had an important message, and that when tails mentioned about his past, sonic made a good point that sometimes being different doesn’t matter, and what’s normal nowadays? I can’t wait to watch the rest of it later on. 


I then made my way to work. This was a good shift for once, and maybe it was the spell of my birthday but it just felt really positive. And that was something good for once. After work I watched the darts whilst tucking into some steak and chips as my birthday tea. This was honestly a perfect way to end the day, watching my favourite sport and some delicious food. This was the followed by checking my acting socials and learning some more French and Korean. I managed to have some birthday cake whilst I did that and it was scrumptious. And I managed to complete my daily goals when I did that. So overall a brilliant way to end a special day. 


Friday: The first day of the third month of 2024. I can’t believe it’s that time already. And to start the new month off I watched the first half of Tuesdays addition of Hollyoaks. The nerve that Carter has is unbelievable and I dread to think what he’ll tell Lucas when he overhears him talking with Scott. I also understand why sienna is being supportive of dilly, as even though liberty has her reservations, the truth about Rafe has put a whole new perspective on sienna. And after seeing the clips already on YouTube, it’ll be quite the drama when Tom gets put on the spot by Yazz.


I then of course did my long shift. It was an okay shift, and despite being on my time of the month (ladies you’ll know what I mean) I managed to get through it. I even went through some of my lines for my self tape and noted some more jobs on spotlight to nudge my agent on later. But the only thing that ruined it was when I caught my foot on the cage and the worst thing about it was the unexpectedness of it. But that was one minor setback and I carried on and got through it. 


Whilst I got ready for the next day I watched the rest of Hollyoaks from Tuesday and also watched Wednesdays addition. Now that I thought about it, even though the way Yazz outed Tom was not the best way, I think they knew that it was time to go their separate ways. But I do hope Yazz does well in her new job, and I’m sure she’ll be the talk of the town but in a more positive way. 


After a quick yoga session, I then jumped onto an industry ready recording, only to find that Fridays seminars are at 5pm and not the usual time of 6. But that was okay as I had the recording to catch up on. But I did have my 1-2-1 with Christopher, just so that I can get some clarifications on my CV, a movement reel and also a question which I was curious about on disability within the industry. And he put me some suggestions with a few people to contact, and that’s definitely the next thing I need to do. 


To settle into the evening I want he’s the rest of the Sonic The Hedgehog movie whilst I had a domino’s. What a movie it was, and I’m proud of sonic for taking responsibility for others when helping to defeat evil. If that’s not a true hero then I don’t know what is. I just can’t wait for the third instalment after what looks like a popular character within the franchise at be making an appearance. I then of course checked my socials whilst watching some YouTube and learning abit of French to end the day. And for once I had my lights out at a decent time, so I feel a good night sleep is on the cards for me. 



Saturday: The final day of my birth week. And to start it off I watched some Dancing On Ice just to keep my energy levels up. I did feel bad for Ryan as he made those mistakes but the way he carried on afterwards just shows how professional he was. It may have knocked his scores, but the judges still respected him for carrying on. I then made my way to work, where it was okay and that I managed to power through it after a good nights sleep. 


After work I then made my way to Grantham to catch up and have some lunch. It was brilliant seeing her again especially now that she’s pregnant with her first child. We talked about anything and everything from life to babies to epilepsy and everything in between. Yes I have an audition tape to do, but sometimes you need to take a break and reconnect with other people in life. And this was a fine example and a well needed break indeed.

I then headed home and got an earlier train. But it seemed to have had a knock on affect. Because I planned to get a train after the one I got, it did make Adam my brain reorganise the schedule he has. And it did have an affect when I tried to catch up on an industry ready recording. 10 minutes in and I had to stop due to overwhelm. But that was okay as sometimes you need to take a break in order to come back stronger. So after walking my dog, doing some yoga and a nice hot shower I felt like a new person. 


I then watched Coronation Street from 26 February with Margo looking very cosy below. Even though I knew that Tracy would come clean, and even though she was honest (as they do say the truth hurts but lies hurt even more), you’ve got to feel for Steve. He knew that he wanted to help blossom the marriage but at this point he’s in fear of loosing it forever. So unless Tracy sees that he is in fact the man for her, I don’t see much hope for them two. I also need to give a shout out to Ross grant for his scene in the show, and what a good job he did of it. Very professional and showing his true authentic self. Well done Ross. And I’m glad he didn’t witness the disagreement between daisy and Jenny otherwise he may have reconsidered the deal.

I then moved onto Thursdays addition of Hollyoaks. Lucas is definitely being taken for a ride as I know Carter himself is still a mess, but the ending of the episode says it all that even though Lucas is believing what Carter is saying, he’s still having those feelings for Dillon and he needs to remember that it is fine and that he shouldn’t be ashamed of it. I’m also intruded about how Abe will react when Cleo finds out about him and Theresa, and after hunting that he could be a nasty piece of work, tonight’s episode may be the start of it. I then checked my socials from my acting age and learnt some Korean. But it was only the one session due to needing to go to sleep. And sleep I definitely needed.



Sunday: To start the final day of the week it watched Thursdays addition of Doctors (where I watched the last few minutes when I got back from work). This one featured Al doing his podcast on a case where someone thought that 5G made them ill, but in fact it was something else entirely. And in life you get people who no matter how hard you try to make them see that sole conspiracy theories are false, they may never get the message at all. and whilst that’s annoying it’s all about how you deal with it. In this case for Al, it’s just doing all he could and wishing him well.


I then made my way to work. It was okay originally as I managed to get through the shift but it got quite emotional. With it being Mother’s Day next week it’s always abit of a challenge. But I know I’ve got good people around me and that if I do need a time they’ll understand why. As I got back I watched abit of Dancing On Ice and had some lunch. I also got to witness my dad opening his birthday present (as it’s his birthday as I’m writing this). Me and my sister and grandparents all chipped in to get him a brilliant air fryer. And he loves it. Let’s hope he reads the instructions lol.


I then moved onto the rest of the industry ready seminar on catchup and started an actors expo clip. My aim is to get in at least 1 a day but at the same time not to overwhelm myself if I can’t. So if I can get at least 2 a week in, that’s my non negotiable complete. The seminar I did was by an Australian creative who mentioned some stuff I may have learnt before, but sometimes people do forget the basics. And I think going back to the basics sometimes is the most important thing, especially when it comes to updating showreels and adding on my new credits, seeing if I need anything else or removing anything that won’t help me grow.


After chilling with my dog and watching some YouTube I brain dumped everything for this week (where I scheduled the next day later on). I did it a little bit later due to having to print off my new schedules but I managed to do it and I also listened to the rest of an act on this broadcast from Monday (where I listened to the rest when I took my dog for a walk). I felt proud of myself for doing those tasks a despite feeling tired after Adam going in and out like the hockey cokey from yesterday and todays shift I managed to persevere and gave 100% into what I had.

After a much needed yoga session (where I did shed a tear or two from relief) and walking my dog, I watched Fridays addition of Hollyoaks whilst tucking into a curry as part of my dads birthday as seen above. I do wonder if after the advice she gave to Cleo, if Zain and Misbah have lost the spark. And after trying to set up beau and kitty, I wonder what will happen next after one of them finds “kitty’s” drivers license. And you’ve got to feel for Cleo, as even though I didn’t watch the show when she told Abe about her past, it looked as though it was really still affecting her to this day. And now I know why she and Joel were close. But after what he did with Theresa, and Kathleen angel spilling the truth, I feel things might get a little bit sticky. And finally I dread to think how Frankie will feel if she finds out about Lucas identity, providing that he gets released from carters spell. 


I was going to look at one final run through with my lines, but my body was telling me no. I know that I should’ve but at the same time with me being up at 6am and having a wobble, I didn’t want to push myself further knowing that I was due to film after my early shift. So as long as I know the who, what, where, when and why then I should be okay. To end the day to a week of both good and abit of a wobble, I planned the next day, updated my budgeting table and did some Korean. As I’m writing this now it’s age to say that the exhaustion is bringing real. So a good night sleep in prep for a new week is much needed.



What have I learnt this week? How grateful I am to celebrate another year on this planet. And even though there are wobbles along the way I can’t wait to see what 24 has to offer. And by the next leap year fingers crossed bigger things will come. 


See you soon for another blog. Until next time…

This is The Autistic Actress signing off :)

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