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Mushy Pea Brain

Hello world,

I know I've only started this website. But I wanted to write this post to show the reality of being a creative on the Autistic Spectrum, and as it was World Mental Health Awareness Week last week, I felt like this is just as important.

I went to my day job as normal on Monday 1st May (and ironic that it was actually mayday), but what overwhelmed me is I got up literally 5 minutes before the taxi came.


Now for some it might not seem like a big deal, and this headshot below (taken by my incredible acting teacher Tim Bryn Smith from The Actors Workshop Nottingham), will automatically make people assume I'm not someone affected by it, but to me its a different story and a picture can truly speak a thousand words.

One of the many traits in people with autism (maybe not all but some depending on the individual), routine and staying to schedule is something that can be seen. Normally when i work Mondays I get up an hour before to watch either Hollyoaks or Gogglebox and have my breakfast. Except this time I couldn't.

Whilst I still managed to get to work on time, I didn't brush my teeth properly, I only had a banana and pastry for breakfast, and by the time one task was done I couldn't bring myself to go on the shop floor.


I told my former line manager this and she was lovely about it. I stayed upstairs and did some training (which I gave up on as the quiz was hard) and my dad picked me up, making sure I was okay.


The reason I'm telling you this is when something like this happens, our brains can send us into overdrive thinking many things. For me, these included, "What if I don't get this podcast finished?" "What if I can't get this programme watched in time for a workshop?" "Why has this happened today of all days?"


I'll be honest, I'm not sure if my brain actually said it but it was safe to say I was thinking about a lot of things. But I just did what I can, took it nice and slow and did some Yoga before i went to rehearsals, and that is one of the many things which has helped me a lot. I then went to rehearsals later that day, and even though I was still shaken by that morning, rehearsals the evening later definitely helped settle my mood, and as always I left the rehearsal room smiling.


So to end this blog, my advice for anyone that's suffering any challenges mentally would be, as the late Caroline Clack once said: "In a world where you can be anything... be kind", as you really don't know what someone is going through.


Hope to check back in with you all soon :)


Until next time...

This is the Autistic Actress singing off :)

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