Hello world! Welcome back to another blog! As May Day comes to a close, and with my hibernation period over, here is what I got up this week!
Monday: To start the day I watched more of the premier league darts up to where I left it from on Thursday. I’ll be honest it wasn’t the most exciting but at least it work me up. I then went to work. we only had a few picks left to do and I then spent the rest of the morning putting out stock. But a bit of music really help set up the mood for later on.
It was then time for my final day at Belvoir. And what a day it was. It wasn’t raining, families were happy and I once again used my skill to do some maypole dancing. And it was hectic as there were children messing with the haystack. But you know what? We left them to it. And at least it wasn’t raining which was the main thing. I even bumped into one of the stall members who talked about what they do. And it was really fascinating on what the charity involved, and that’s got me interested in looking at their website.
I had a chilled one when I got back, which mainly focused on watching a bit of Britain's Got Talent on YouTube whilst organising this blog. I needed some throwback moments, so the likes of Jasmine Elcock, Musa Motha and Unity were the ones for me. And now I can’t get the song “The Village”, out of my head. whilst the song focuses on one topic, it definitely symbolises what it means to be different. And it’s given me some ideas or two about how I can use song into monologues.
After walking my dog I did some yoga. It was what I needed after today, and whilst I’m still buzzed by the day, I needed to wind down. And this was the perfect way. It was only 15 minutes but it was 15 minutes well spent.
To let the evening play out I watched Coronation Street from 29th April and 2nd May. I think Steve has a lot of work to do after his first dating disaster with Carole, and with Sally making Tim end his friendship with him, all seems lost. But I’m sure they’ll bounce back in the end. After Paul bravely took the step to talk about his MND was a success at Amy’s university (despite the odd swear word which thankfully they let off) and raising money for charity, it’s abit of a coincidence that Paul’s dad Denny came back into his life. I wonder what secret Bernie has been hiding though when after Denny takes Paul for a pint (which I don’t think is good for him considering his condition) and things got too much. I’m also getting annoyed with Maria being paranoid over Liam as even though it’s natural, she needs to let Liam deal with it his way. But I don’t think him overhearing the conversation from her and Gary helped. I also do think that after seeing spoilers Adam is starting to fall for Alya. As maybe he’s trying to be the big boss to impress him but it clearly hasn’t worked so far, but come the next episode it’ll have certainly changed. One things for sure though rich is not a bad looking man to look at lol! And I do hope that after a hospital trip due to low blood sugar and dehydration, Roy would gradually be able to piece together what a key part that happened moments before she went missing.
To finish off the evening I watched todays instalment of Doctors. I was moved by Scarlett’s reaction to trying to drive again, and after revealing the real reason as to why she’s scared, it’s understandable. I also wish that yes even though the bidder for the mill is much lower than their competitors, Zara would at least take into consideration Suni's care and sympathy for the personal side as well. And I also thought that the cater of her brother was selfish in having ways to cope, even if it meant taking bits of his own health away. I understand it’s a lot of pressure given what she’s been through but it’s not an excuse from destroying her brothers life. Let’s just hope he gets the right support needed after this. To finish off this long day I checked my socials and learnt some French. This was only one session but it was one session that was perfect. So overall a tiring but rewarding day.
Tuesday: I overslept that day. Normally I would be overwhelmed by it, but this time I wasn’t. But I knew I needed that extra bit of rest after the past few days I had. So I had to rejig some stuff, which started off with gathering some day player roles and scenes from Doctors.
Due to getting up early I then did a home workout. As then before class knowing I had a busy day at least I had my exercise in. And as long as I keep the consistency up I can’t do wrong.
This then moved onto walking my dog and finishing an act on this podcast. I now have a deeper understanding on tarot employment works and along with the help of either Glynn Jelley or one of my dads friends who are accountants, I may be able to claim money back on my investments whilst developing into my acting career. I even managed to pay the penalty fare I got a few weeks ago so at least that was one less thing to worry about.
I then applied for some day jobs. There were some where I wanted to apply but sadly I missed the applications for them. But I reminded myself that maybe something better will come along.
Before heading to Nottingham I watched the first episode of Boarders. I could see why it was a hit so far with the Goggleboxers, as there are some real characters in it. And one of the people who greets Leah is definitely a person I would be once I get used to my new surroundings. I can’t wait to watch the rest of the series before Sunday.
I then made my way to class. It was so good to be back in the room with some amazing creatives. In this session we worked on naturalism and how each act of a film is structured. we also managed to film some tapes for a casting. I may just send mine just how it is to save me one less thing to do for tomorrow. Fingers crossed I get the outcome I’m looking for.
As I got back I watched the first part of today’s episode of Doctors. I know a dying mum was only doing what’s best for her son, who would soon be in the care of his autistic auntie, but you could understand his frustration. And Paige is definitely in for a ride with Lucas next patient. I then learnt abit of French as I got ready for bed. I didn’t check my socials due to having a long day and needing to go to sleep. And boy did I need it. A tiring but rewarding day.
Wednesday: To start the day I watched the rest of Doctors from yesterday. I think Paige has really made an effort to fit in with the surgery and even rocks the scrubs. I also know that Suni didn’t mean to open his mouth but now after already being anxious as it is and why, Scarlett will just go into overdrive.
I then made my way to the gym for a leg session. On the way there I managed to finally go back on my access acquired blogs as a week on Saturday will have been 3 months since the last event ended. And with refilming my monologue for my acting page coming up this could not come at a perfect timing. The gym itself was okay as I got a good leg session in and a bit of boxing too. I was a bit slow probably due to the heat but I pushed through and got the job done.
As I got back despite being off schedule I watched Love Triangle whilst I applied for some day job and acting jobs. You’ve got to feel sorry for Matt, but I praise him for how he handled the situation. He was calm cool and collected but managed to express how he feels in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone but wants to get his point across. And I think the comment Emily made about Kelly was not great, and unless you’re the age Kelly is, you don’t know what goes on throughout anyone’s mind. And Brodie does have some guts to speak her mind, and she’s bringing all the drama and of not she’s definitely escalating it.
This then moved onto continuing my access acquired blog. As I’m writing this I’ve got one more session to write about followed by tweaking a few minor bits, adding some photos in and I’m ready to post it. And it just shows that one’s toy get stuck into something and don’t stop you create magic right in front of your own eyes.
During lunch I watched episode 2 of Boarders in preparation for Sunday. Even though Jaheim was only wanting to give Rupert a taste of his own medicine, it obviously didn’t land well with the head master. And even though his friends from the “endz” wee only trying to help him, I have a feeling they’ll cause quite a stir. And Gud gave him a wake up call after what’s happened with Rupert at rugby. I also felt for Leah when she had an accident in front of Koku, and that Omar definitely gave Femi some home truths. There must obviously be something that happened in the past that affected their friendship. And I’m surprised by Toby's language of Japanese. So fluent and faultless. I wonder if the actor who played Toby learnt it especially for the show or was already trained in it? Either way it was very committed of him.
The afternoon was a chilled one to say the least. This included looking at some scripts for Sunday and after seeing the characters I need to read in for, it’s made it easier for me and I can see why they did that. Although I do need to double check just so that I get it right. This was then followed by doing a survey and finishing live well everyday. I’m so god I finally managed to finish this book and all of the stuff Dr Alex mentioned has really opened my eyes to how to look after myself physically and mentally.
I then learnt some French. I got a bit done and even managed to sit outside for some of it. Although me being the worrying wreck I am I decided to out a jumper on as even though it was sunny there was a chill in the air, and to avoid getting sunburn I didn’t want to take that chance. This was then followed by gathering some day player roles from Coronation Street and Hollyoaks. As I’m writing this I’m now up to date with all of them, and it’s cleared air of storage on the tv planner. I just need to do this week’s doctors at the weekend and then I’ll be completely up to date.
To chill out for the evening I walked my dog, checked my socials from my personal account and then I watched Fridays addition of Coronation Street. I don’t know what Denny is up to, but I know it’s going to put more stress on Paul, who had an accident which the alcohol from the last episode didn’t help. Although Denny shouldn’t have left Paul on his own, as even though his illness is incurable, he wants to make the most of it and not risk an early death. I also didn’t expect Alya and Adam to get that steamy, and with that steak affecting Alya's new offer. But with Sair Khan leaving the show for maternity leave, and Adam telling rich to reconsider Alya, I feel rich may have a change of heart. I’m also glad that Steve’s date with Demi has been a success, and how alike they really are. And after sally told Tim why she really wanted to spend less time with Steve I feel their marriage will only fore stronger. I also hope that Roy’s drawing of the necklace will help his case, and that with Liam feeling the way he is after what happened, and after he overheard Maria possibly being more at home, I can see why he’s getting anxious.
Afterwards I drafted some emails to casting directors and creatives on my film. Obviously I wasn’t going to send them tonight as it’s out of office for the majority of them, so during the day before I go to work after giving them the once over that’s when I’ll send them. I know that the majority of them will have other commitments, but if I get at least 1 to come then that will be an achievement for me.
To end the day I watched todays instalment of Doctors. I find it quite sad that women of certain ethnicities are more vulnerable to crime, and as rob interviewed one of them you could see she had no choice of the matter. But I’m hoping that along with the help of Jimmi, she can move forward with her life. And we all need a friend like Bear, as after Scarlett told him about her mock test, he said a quote which I think not only helped her, but also helped Zara when fighting for the campus surgery. And that even though the practice pitch wasn’t great, they know what to work on to make it better. And it’s the same with Scarlett’s driving test. She may have panicked but with the coping mechanisms Jimmi will give her next week I’m hoping it’ll have helped.
I then watched episode 3 of Boarders. It’s safe to say that the bonds the kids are making have deepened massively. Omar may be too nice but I feel that he can see in Rupert that maybe he’s trying to be the leader of the pack because the pressure of his mum being an important person. And the same with Femi when his family sends him proud messages knowing the pressure he has to be perfect. Whilst Jaheim wrongly blamed his old friends for stealing Xaing's laptop, he was right to say that he’s maybe jealous of his new life. Abby also needs to see where her loyalties lie after Flo shares the embarrassing video of Leah (where after encountering Koku, it seems to have taken her mind off it) and that she’s really good at sensing people’s true authentic self. And I think she’s got that sense with Toby, who maybe tried to hide his cleverness incase he gets branded as a geek. Who knows?
To help me relax I checked my socials from my acting side and planned my day for tomorrow. Although I am all prepared if I have to cut some stuff short due to leaving early to get the bus like last week. But at least I can now deal with it better.
Thursday: to start the day off I watched Mondays instalment of Hollyoaks. This one was an intense one, and despite Declan brainwashing Lucas once again, he’s managed to come out to his dad which I think is a huge step in his journey of growth. But I hope Declan will be stopped when kitty gets kidnapped, knowing that everyone else thinks she’s on a course in London. I also hope that Ste will do whatever it takes to stay away from Warren knowing what he’s capable of, and that John Paul really is a good man especially after what happened with Carter. And taking in Freya just shows that he’s not a bad person.
I then made my way to the gym. It was a good session where I got some arm workouts in, and despite the warm weather I ploughed through. I also looked at some lines for Sundays class on the way there and back which was beneficial for me as the sooner I start learning lines the better.
As I got back I cooked the tea. And it was fairly straightforward, and I even managed to learn to knew when boiled potatoes are ready. So all in all I’m proud of myself. Before lunch, I sent off some emails to invite industry creatives to my film whilst I watched the first part of Love Triangle. I do feel sorry for Matt as he’s not happy with the situation at all. And Lloyd has really thrown a spanner on the world that really got me excited for the rest of it later in the week.
I then watched Tuesdays instalment of Hollyoaks during lunch. I hope Dave doesn’t cancel the wedding at this point, and that he can see why Cindy would find it hard to have it at the venue they got. I’m also proud of Lucas for starting to open up to Dillon about who he is, but I feel Marie will be on the war path after seeing something she shouldn’t.
I then made my way to work. I had to get the bus again but you know what? It worked in my favour. As I had to get my sister part of her birthday present and some other stuff. And work itself was okay. It was mainly reducing but I also started to learn my lines for the Sarmad Masud class on Sunday and as I’m writing this I’m one script down. I’ve just got the other one to do and then I’m ready to go.
As I got home I watched the premier league darts whilst I had my dinner I made as seen above. It had it all, and Michael smiths 136 checkout was the best one so far! He may not have got a 9 darter, but boy did he put on a show. I also noted some more jobs on spotlight where I noticed that I missed the deadline for some of them due to working at Belvoir, but nudged my agent on the ones that were posted ASAP regardless if I get subbed for them or not.
To end the day I checked some of my socials and learnt some French. I didn’t check all my socials knowing that I was up early, but I was surprised on how quickly I got my French lessons done. I guess I got myself into a flow state and I’m enjoying every single moment of it.
Friday: Watched the rest of Love Triangle and the start of the premier league darts to keep my energy levels up. Let’s just say it all got heated at the dinner party, and with Lloyds exit it all kicked off between Emily and Danika. I know we don’t see the whole picture but at the same time why would you go on a show and then move to something different? But I think the darts have helped to keep the music levels going.
I then made my way to work. This one was okay as I managed to spread the word about my film and fingers crossed I’ll have some of my colleagues coming to see me. I also continued to learn my lines for the workshop on Sunday, and as I’m writing this, I’ve only just managed to be off script for both of them. Now all I need to do is repeat the lines and focus on my objectives so that by Sunday I should be ready to go.
When I got back I worked through my scripts in preparation for Sunday. As i'm writing this I feel I've got a good idea on from my perspectives what the scripts are about and the relationship between the characters. But I've also opened my mind and changed them if need be, as because I don't know who I will be paired up with on the day, I know I need to make sure that my objectives tailor to the right person and their relationship. And along with taking directions from Sarmad himself, I also know I need to open my mind more.
This then led onto applying for some more acting jobs on Mandy. And I got quite a few job applications in, which I'm very proud of myself. Yes there may have been one or two that I missed out on due to not getting a tape in on time or being busy from other areas in my life which made me forget to apply, but I at least took the time to stay consistent and practical in my search for that next gig regardless if its paid or not.
After checking my socials on my personal side (where I checked more of them later on in the evening) I did some yoga and walked my dog. Normally I would walk my dog before I do my yoga, but because its now starting to get warmer, my dad recommended to take her out later so she doesn't overheat. And he was right on that one, as the time I did take her was just right.
I then watched episodes 7 and 8 of One Day whilst having my dinner as seen above. I get that Dexter needed an escape from what happened to his mum, but the way he talked about Emma and teaching is not cool. And whilst Dexter is right about not finishing what you started, Emma was also right to say that working a full time job is not easy along with your writing career. But things took a turn so quickly with Ian and Emma, and Jonny welding performance was off the scale. Normally he’s seen as the funny man on X formerly twitter, but now he’s shown me that he’s a versatile actor who deserved the role of Ian. Well done Jonny. But I’m glad that Ian eventually came to an understanding with Emma, and maybe Ian was trying to cling on because of past experiences and in episode 3, mentioned that no one would go out with him because of his looks. I’m also glad that Emma channelled her frustrations into her writing and not the booze, and you could see that from there on in she’s in the state of flow.
After scheduling tomorrow I watched Wednesdays addition of Hollyoaks. I saw the spoilers but I was physically still not prepared for Lizzie’s fate. And with Warren saying to Ste about some dodgy pills being let loose, I wouldn’t be surprised if Dilly was the unlucky victim to get them. And Marie for sure is on the warpath after finding out Abe's big secret. But she really isn’t doing herself any favours by drinking and soon taking drugs (but hopefully not the ones Warren and Ste are trying to get back).
I then checked my socials from my personal side and did some French, all whilst Margo as seen above was sleeping on my bed. This one was only a story, so it wasn't a very long session. And I'm glad it wasn't a long one as I needed that early night. But this was a perfect end to the a very busy but productive day.
Saturday: To started the weekend I watched more of the premier league darts from Thursday. Once again Luke Littler's walk on really did set me up for the day ahead. I then of course made my way to my day job, where it'll be my last shift for a week. And I'm ready for it. Not only for my screening but to get up without worrying if I need to make sure I have my uniform ready. It was a facing up kind of day, but I managed to go through my lines once again, even if I did break something lol.
As i got back i walked my dog and relaxed. I struggled to get to sleep, although the warm weather didn't really help. But I went online to look at a few acting opportunities and let's just say that I managed to keep my eye on some that I may keep my eyes peeled on.
During lunch and into the afternoon I watched the final episode of Love Triangle. I personally wasn't happy with the choice when it came to Matt and Jack. Yes the decision was out of his control, and he respected the choice the chooser made (which was very chivalrous of him), I wondered what the other date has that he doesn't. But the way Matt was throughout the series was brilliant and i know there will be someone out there that will love him for who he is. Although Dan is literally Aly and Amy's number 1 enemy at the moment. Yes there is a human behind the show, and we know we need to be kinder when it comes to social media and trolling, but if what Amy and Aly say about Dan is true from comments after the show, then maybe we need to keep more of an open mind. I was also proud of Kelly for sticking up for herself. Yes it was Mike's decision, but I totally get why she was upset knowing what she has been through before the show. And whilst some relationships may have ended on good terms like Jack & Aly and Zaralena & Lloyd, I have a feeling the reunion episode will be chaos.
In between Love Triangle, I did some final prep on my script. I'm trying to be careful though as even though I have my objective I have no clue who i will be paired up with on the day. So I recapped my Who, What, Where, When, Why and Why now and along with a run through with my dad, I think i'm ready to go tomorrow. I also had a tiny clear out of my room. This involved putting some of my merchandise in the garage and boy did I feel better after that. Yes I still need some clearing up to do but compared to before I put my merchandise in I feel more cleansed.
To settle into the afternoon read the start of a new read which was "An Actors Alphabet" by Julie Hesmondhalgh. I was looking forward to this book and so far I’m getting hooked onto it already. I can’t wait to see the other useful advice she gives out in the book.
To help wind down I slowly started to brain dump everything for next week (where I only scheduled key bits so far) and watched the reunion episode of Love Triangle. It definitely heated, with conversations and stuff that fit out of hand. but as I said my main aim was to support Matt and support him I did. He did so well and fingers crossed anyone would be so lucky to go out with him. And I’m glad he made friends in Kelly and Lloyd, who seem like the type of people I need in my life right now.
In between I painted my nails. Now that I would be off for a week I though some self care was what’s needed. And I can’t wait to spend the week to yes look at my acting career and maintain my fitness but t also use this time to practice more darts and get into some creative writing (as I do think of an idea to write as a short story and then turn into a potential screenplay). So I’m excited to see where it goes.
I then walked my dog and did some yoga. This was supposed to be earlier in the evening but due to waiting for my nails to get dry it had to be later. but I was okay with managing it as yes I’m up early again tomorrow but it’s not super early for work. So at least that was one less thing to worry about.
Whilst getting my dinner ready I watched Thursdays addition of Hollyoaks. And after Lizzie's dramatic death, it’s definitely knocked the family for six. And you know what I don’t blame Mason for leaving the street. And good on him for thinking what’s right for him, and I’m glad they didn’t cut him out by killing him. I also dread to see Abe's angry side after he nearly pushes Cleo to get out of his way. But it looks like she has got bigger things to deal with after Hunters fate is sealed.
I then moved onto watching episodes 9 and 10 of One Day on Netflix. It’s obvious that Dex still has feelings for Emma. As even at Sylvia’s house he still thinks about her. And despite a setback which resulted in injuries herd it seems to have strengthens their bond. although when they met at Tilly’s wedding, you could tell that there’s still chemistry there. And Emma’s monologue for Tilly really hit it on the head.
I the moved onto Gogglebox. I had a feeling they would react to the danger act on Britain's Got Talent and I can’t really tell if the children from France on a cooking programme like their dinners or not. Also felt bad for the celebrity while failed to beat the chasers, and that I Kissed A Girl was definitely a Gogglebox favourite. I can’t wait to watch the rest later on.
I then checked my socials from my acting pages and learnt some French. This was a personalised practice so it was a fairly quick few sessions. But despite a few mistakes I pushed through and completed that section of French.
Sunday: To start my first day off work and an exciting day ahead I watched Doctors from Thursday. This one I quite liked, as it was kind of like a parallel universe. Maybe Tim could’ve been happy whatever the outcome is, but I feel that it was always his destiny to run his one business regardless if Ashley had a miscarriage or not. Either way the universe works in a very mysterious way, so I hope they get to find their true meaning in life, and with ruhmas help I think they did just that.
I then moved onto watching the rest of Gogglebox. All I can say on that is the dads in milf manor have pretty much showed their sons how it’s done, Countdown saw an old timer beat a rising genius, the election not going Sunak's way in some areas where the Tories were once popular and the owners of a pet in The Yorkshire Vet have gone to a whole new level.
On the way to Nottingham I had one final read through of my script along with writing some ideas for a story and also drafted something to film for a sketch linking to May Day. This was the perfect way to break up my final prep along with getting ideas out of my head. Then it stops me from getting overwhelmed and to also keep that creative muscle going.
It was then time… the class. This was a brilliant experience and I can honestly say that meeting Sarmad again was a real breath of fresh air for me. And his story on how he got to where he is now is amazing and shows that not all directors are rich and famous right from the start of their career. When it came to the scenes as well, it was fascinating to see how each person did their own spin on it. Yes I may have only had the chance to do one of my scenes but at least it’s better than not performing at all. But overall I’m happy I got the chance to show my skills to a pretty awesome director.
As I got back I did a few things to help me wind down after a brilliant day. This included applying for an acting job on Mandy, brain dumping what I need to do next week (with some I can actually do which i haven’t done in a while) and did some surveys whilst I watched a bit of YouTube. I was surprised I got a lot of them done as normally I would struggle to find the time. But their important part is I did it and I was proud of myself for doing so.
This was then followed by walking my dog and doing some yoga. Yes it was later than previously scheduled but because we’re now getting into the warmer wea her I didn’t want my dog to overheat. And it was actually quite nice doing my yoga outside in the nice cool breeze. It definitely made me feel more one with nature. Does it sound hippy? Yes. But did it feel right saying it? Yes it did!
After painting my nails and touched up my Nottingham puppet festival blog I watched Fridays instalment of Hollyoaks. Despite Dilly being the one to stop the man who gave her the drugs which killed Lizzie and Hunter, prince really got himself in a sticky situation when he confronted Warren. And I’m glad that Abe is making amends with Cleo. I’m still skeptical of him given how he treated her whilst keeping Arlo away from Marie, but after her near death experience, I feel he may have turned. A page over.
I then watched episode 5 of Kin. Michael is definitely making his epilepsy worse, and when Amanda found out about it, I feel it’ll cause problems with Jimmy especially given their history together. But it looks like she has problems of her own after a threat by Eamon. Michael may also have danger for him as after seeing his daughter for 5 minutes the Cunnginham's may use that against them.
I then had a chat with Steve about the screening. And so far all is good and I feel like we have a plan in place. But given what I wen through the last time I had a lot to do I don’t want to overwhelm myself. But all I need to do is just share the post again and whilst we have a fair few coming already the more people we get the better.
To end the first day of my week off work I checked my socials and learnt some French. This was only one session followed by a few mistakes to be corrected but I’m glad I got that consistency to keep going. And it took longer to check my socials due to being distracted by YouTube but at least I got there in the end.
What have I learnt this week? Lean into who you are, and once you’ve found your calling, look at how you can develop it.
See you soon for another blog. Until next time…
This is The Autistic Actress signing off :)
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