Hello world! Welcome back to another blog. Here is what I got up to from the week commencing 11th September 2023.
Monday: as always Monday was my early morning shift at work. It was fairly quiet tbf, but it was a good shift. Before I went I managed to watch the rest of episode 5 of Serengeti. It’s been an incredible series so far and I cannot wait to see what the ending is has offer.
After a quick nap as always, I took my dog for a walk. I was due to go to the lace market theatre for some training, but because of me having a lot on and my back starting to hurt, I decided not to go. I sent an email to the lady running it this morning but after not hearing anything back I then messaged the Facebook page to pass on a message to her. Whilst I didn’t say the real reason of my absence to her, I was not embarrassed but fearful that me being tired and having other stuff on would be an excuse. But then I remembered that sometimes you need to learn what your priorities are. And work the overwhelming response of the film (which is also positive) and also now prepping for actors jam, I felt like I needed to take a step back for now.
After having some lunch and watching the rest of celebrity masterchef, I then worked on my actor jam material. I voice noted my top two monologue choices (and depending on the limit those are the ones I’m definitely submitting) and also after recapping the background of two Shakespearean monologues, I voice noted them too. I feel like I need to take a risk this year, as if they are allowing more than 2 pieces per person, I’m going to submit either one piece or both from Shakespeare. It’s not very often I do understand the topic but once I save into it, and after recapping a performance of viola in the national theatre website, it becomes second nature. Only time will tell.
I then uploaded my Some Like It Notts sketch. Although I had to use my 4G to upload it as the internet really doesn’t like me today. I tried to load up my Waitrose vouchers this morning but for some reason the Wi-Fi at Waitrose and the data was not great. So I decided to leave it and get the vouchers tomorrow before my acting class. Soon afterwards and despite a little bit of Wi-Fi troubles, I then did some yin yoga. I definitely felt tense towards the end, but I’m not sure if it was my body telling me to stop and rest. Either way I got through it as I knew it had to be done.
After looking at a couple of surveys, I decided to gather some day player roles and note the times codes of scenes from Doctors. This wasn’t planned, but because I wasn’t going to Nottingham today and it was on my list, I thought I’d better get it done sooner rather than later.
I then took my dog for a walk. She was definitely more naughty as she kept barking at everything and anything. But I loved her either way, I think I needed the fresh air just as much as she did.
Soon afterwards I watched coronation street with a delicious pizza for tea. I’ll be honest, the storylines are not as exciting as they used to be, but I’m willing to stick through it. As I’ve watched the show for years, so for me to tune it down now would be unforgivable of me, especially seeing this show as a potential first tv role.
After me and my dad finished watching Coronation Street, with only 2 episodes to catch up on, I then gathered some more day player roles and scenes from the show but also from Hollyoaks. I must say, the episodes that were directed by David Crowley (who I know from act on this) were definitely a stand out for me. So my job tomorrow is to post a tweet or retweet his recent posts praising him for his work on a topic that affects many people not only in the UK but around the world.
I then ended the day with checking my social media stories and learning some more Korean and French. And it’s safe to say this is the most knackered I’ve been in a long time, but at least I’ll sleep great tonight.
Tuesday: Tuesdays as a tiring day for me. But I don’t think that the rain did not help, as it had been pouring with rain all day.
So I started the day with watching the first half of the final episode of Serengeti followed by the first 10 minutes of doctors after my dog decided to bark at the animals.
I then watched walked to the gym. I didn’t get chance to listen to a podcast as I had my umbrella in one hand and I would struggle to make notes with just one hand to spare. So I listened to some positive music before starting my session. This session in particular didn’t feel the best, as I was tired and my body was aching. But I still got it done and even though I didn’t give in my all, I gave 100% into everything I had. I then had to improvise one exercise where after one weight was taken due to a circuit session later on, I gathered multiple weights to get the same resistance. A classic example of dining a solution to a problem.
After my grandad picking me up from the gym, I then took my dog out and as you can see she was not happy as she got all wet!
I then applied for some jobs on spotlight and Mandy (which I did pretty well for myself) and then replied to all of my responses for the autism project. It’s still overwhelming (which. Am probably explain the tiredness) but I managed to get it done and I also emailed one of the managers to ask about a shift change. I was going to look at my stuff for actor jam again, but then I decided not to as the task I was going to do I completed it yesterday. And I know if I go over something too much I’ll lose that momentum. So maybe I will leave it for now and focus it in the next few days.
Soon afterwards I had my lunch whilst I watched the first half of celebrity masterchef and the first half of Heartstopper. This episode brought so many tears to my eyes for so many reasons, one of them being that two characters who both like each other finally had to owe first kiss. It was so magical and I can’t wait to see where their relationship goes next.
I then headed off to my acting class. On the way there I listened to the rest of The Diary Of A CEO with Whitney Wolfe Herd and now I feel inspired. This also definitely made up for the fact that my train there was delayed by 20 minutes. But I managed to apply for abit of money back for the train ticket. So all is not lost.
Class today was okay. I feel like my improvisation is coming together slowly but surely.
During the session we looked at scripts from the show Succession, which was essentially an about the children of a CEO wanting to gain the whole business before their father dies. We talked about how we can use techniques from The Practical handbook for the actor into this script, but I’ve struggled to take on board all the notes. But then again it’s all that time of year where it’s starting to get dark earlier, I’m tired and groggy. So I’m glad that I’m going online for the winter as I would’ve struggled mentally to go to class in the dark.
On the way back I listened to some lovey chilling music. But also stuff that helped lift my mood. I still find it fascinating how music can change your mood instantly, but then again I always believe that music is good for the soul.
As soon as I got back I watched the rest of Celebrity Masterchef and Heartstopper. I don’t think it was wise of me to stay up that late as when I went to bed checking my socials I genuinely thought I was about to drift off. But they were on my watch list before the end of this month, and with the final 3 months approaching, the more tasks of an tick off the less I have to weepy about before the next 3 months.
I then ended the day with learning some more Korean and French and checking my socials. I decided not to do some meditation before I went to sleep which I think was wise as I fell flat on my pillow straight away.
Wednesday: I started the day by going to the gym. On the way there and back I listened to some more The Diary of a CEO where Steven interviews Terry Crews. I don’t get invested in the whole journey there and back but the main thing is I got it done and that is better than nothing.
I then edited a shorter version of my security guard sketch, and it actually took quicker than I expected. I thought it would take longer, but after simply separating the first half and the second my half, it worked like a treat. This then made up for me applying for some more spotlight jobs in between, as I got back late from the gym.
I then started my application for the workshops in regards to the actors jam. They need to be in by 6pm this Friday, and I’m slightly conscious that I won’t be there on time as they start at 10 so I would have to arrive 30 minutes later. So I’m going to ask work if they can cover for me or if I leave an hour early and then I can make it up the next day or simply come in an hour early or stay an hour later during the week. Because I’ve attended and I’ve performed at the event twice (which I’m still surprised at) and it’s helped me open up doors into areas which I never thought I’d explore. So to do it a third time (as at the end of the workshop they get to select 2 people to get into the actors jam straight away) would be an amazing achievement. Either way I’m going to hash find and take on board every note. As regardless of the result I’m going to post my work onto my socials. So if I don’t get in I’m going to pair the original tapes and if I do I’ll post my other submissions and then once the video comes out (as they record it on the night) I’ll pair the performance from the actual night onto my socials too.
Before I had my lunch, I decided to count up my money from my reserve income. I’ve noticed that I’ve got a lot less than I thought I would. This could be either the fact that I had to take some money out but didn’t get a chance to update it or I simply miscounted it. Either way it was safe and sound and an error we all make.
I then ticked into a delicious lunch whilst watching the rest of Tuesdays doctors and first half of the final of celebrity masterchef. I’m going to miss this show so much, but I know it’ll be back for another series and also there’s the Christmas specials to come, so that’s something to look forward to.
The afternoon consisted my my Nan coming to help me organise my wardrobe. This included looking at clothes which need to be chucked, clothes that are still in good use but I want to sell them (something which I still need to get on), and clothes that are okay but simply need to be more organised. I’m so lucky to have a Nan like her, as she’s helped me a lot with my independence and I will treasure these moments whilst I still can. And along with the help of my grandad, she looked at a tooth that has been aggravating me since the weekend. She reckons it’s my wisdom tooth coming through. But I left a voicemail for an appointment at the dentist, so hopefully if they agree they can sort it out.
I then decided to finish the Act On This podcast with Diarmuid Goggins. It was a really fascinating chat as always, and some of the stuff he said on how to get on a directors radar, and one thing I took from tonight (as I’ll be honest I work even remember without checking my notes ) is that if I don’t believe in myself how will he believe in me. I was going to finish the podcast tomorrow, but with my tooth hurting and a possibility of me having a dentist appointment tomorrow, I thought I’d get this out of the way and then any other tasks I can work my way around going or whilst I wait for the appointment itself, should I get one tomorrow.
I then winded down with taking some surveys. Doing them is one of my favourite past times as not only does it feel good when you see the numbers go down (and it does feel good when i do), but I can also earn an extra income from them after a certain amount of points. It's not much, so I won't be able to cut my shifts at my day job fully, but some extra cash from one of my favorite hobbies is fantastic.
I ended the day with watching the rest of Celebrity Masterchef and then watched 3 quarters of sonic the hedgehog the movie. I know it’s a kids show, but I feel like with the world we’re living in with the cost of living crisis, I feel it’s now more important than ever to have fun and be a child again. And that includes coming back to things like this character who’s faster than the speed of sound, which I was a huge fan of as a child.
I then finished off the day with checking my socials and learning some more Korean. I did manage to get 2 of the 3 tasks completed as always, but the main win was completing the topic, which was a recap of saying where I was going. It too me longer to come plate though as I had to check I’ve got it written down is it incase and for the most of them I have.
Thursday: Today was a rare day off work. So I made the most of it by getting some tasks done but also relaxing at the same time. It felt good not to have that extra pressure to get everything ready for work whilst I was getting stuff done, and I’m slowly building up that momentum to make it a full time thing.
Stuff I did today:
After watching Mondays Hollyoaks, as always I went to the gym, continuing The Diary Of A CEO with Terry Crews as the guest. He talked about his addiction to something quite surprising, and joe that affected everything. He also talked about his dad and how he became the way he is. I always find it fascinating how people act in certain ways, as when I learnt about the lucid body at the start of the year, I learned (and even before I started this topic) that not everyone is born evil, but there’s always something that triggers it.
The gym itself was brilliant. I may have been late back, but knowing this is my final session of the week and not having to be at work today was worth it.
I then took my dog out for a walk. It was still raining but I’m surprised she went out as normally she doesn’t like the rain. Thankfully it wasn’t too bad and she didn’t get too wet.
As soon as I had a shower after the sweaty mess I was, I got to work with drafting out an email to the casting director of I Used to be Famous, a draft email to someone who I wrote to before and a draft to the company of a show I went to see. I only managed to get out two emails this week, but for me two emails is better than no emails at all. So I’m learning to celebrate the small wins whilst I can.
My Nan then came round to help me cook tonight’s tea. This was sea bass, and despite it breaking (as we need some new pans ASAP), it was a successful cook. I’ve finally managed to cook a fish without alot of my nans help, but she was imply there to guide me.
I then had some lunch and watched the second of Mondays Hollyoaks. I’m starting to feel sorry for Romeo, as I know Raynes manipulation is starting to take hold of him. I’m starting to wonder why no one can see Romeo is struggling, as those around him should stick up for Rayne, not hide in the shadows. But with Jemma Donovan hinting the end of Rayne’s reign fairly soon, we hope to see how Romeo will be broken from her spell.
To kick off this afternoon, I finished off the application for a job as a YouTube assistant based in Nottingham. Yes this job is full time so how I’m going to fit it into my acting career is going to be a lot of work. But it’s in an area where I’m surrounded by creativity, so when I get this job (as I’m manifesting the good things whilst they’re presented to me), not only will I be able to explore a new avenue in this industry, but I’ll help inspire me with my own content and what I put on my own social media handles.
I then finished off the application for the workshops for Actors Jam. I didn’t mention how I may be 30 minutes late to the session if I can’t get the time off, so I’m hoping I can go an hour early on the days of the workshop and then make up the time during the week. This feels like the sensible option, and my workplace know how passionate I am about pursing my passion full time (especially after the article in the Newark advertiser from last week). And as it’s only for 2 days I’m sure they can let me do this on those 1 occasions.
Soon afterwards to give myself a breather, I watched episode 6 of Heartstopper series 2. I’m so happy about this episode, as not to give any spoilers, but let’s just say that when a certain secret is revealed, the reaction is surprising. And I’m also really amazed by Kit Connors fluent French speaking. Where he learnt that before the show or if he had to learn it especially before they filmed it is interesting. Either way having another language is a proper skill to have, which makes me want to further develop my Korean and French.
As soon as I finished watching Heartstopper, I rang PIP to get a form to hopefully gain a claim. The call took about 10 minutes to get through, so I ended up doing some surveys in between (which was on my list of things to do anyway). But when I did get through, I was quite proud of myself for doing this, as these things who’d normally terrify me. But I got it done, answered what I thought was right and now I just need to fill in the form to get a result.
I then watched an episode of Coronation Street from 8th September. Not to give away any spoilers, but let’s say the episode before, Max has put himself in a difficult position, and that Tyrone may have been played for a fool by his mum. It’s one of those things where I’m not sure if it is true, but it does seem very convincing. I might be proven wrong, but with it being the land of serial dramas, I know I need to expect the unexpected.
I then took my dog for her final walk of the day (and thankfully she didn’t get too wet) and had a call with Steve Watson about the project. He says it’s all coming together nicely, and I was surprised he said that. Mind you from the start of the year till now if and see why. Now the main task I need to do is organise a date before Steve goes away, and that’ll be a challenging in itself. My Brian may be going in all different directions, but if I managed to get an article out then I know I can do this. It’s abit like when I sing a soprano in salad days. As if I can post it onto TikTok as part of a sketch then I could sing it live in front of an audience.
This evening then started with my delicious dinner I made. I also watched Wednesdays and the start of yesterday’s episode of Doctors. And wow! What an episode. I never knew that a previous patient can go to great lengths for revenge, and after watching the start of yesterdays ep, I really hope the person (again not saying who to put out any spoilers) is okay.
I then watched episodes 9 and 10 of Conversations With Friends. Episode 9 was a real tear jerker, as you can see the emotional connection between Bobbi and Frances. Episode 10 wasn’t as good emotionally, but the final scene left me in utter shock. Again I won’t give toomuch away, but now I can’t wait for the last 2 episodes of this incredible series.
I then ended my evening with checking my socials (with my personal account during supper and my professional account in bed) and learnt some more Korean and French. This time I managed to complete all 3 of the goals. Mind you one of them was to spend a certain period of time learning. And it’s a good job I did that.
Friday: Friday was my long shift as always, but not before watching rest of yesterday’s episode of Doctors. When I got to work, I noticed that there’s an advertisement for Pets at home. This was ideal as yes it’s not anything to do with my acting career but it’s something that’s linked to one of my other passions… animals. I’ve loved animals since a young age, so to get a job where yes it’s retail but a passion that’s also fulfilling, would be the cherry on the cake. As if it is quiet on the acting side then at least I will have that to focus on.
I then went to work and I surprisingly had a good shift. I managed to get some ideas down for my script for the short film and after a brief meeting with my line manager, it was all in all a good morning. when it came to my break I was going to look at the agent form before sending it off at the weekend but I realised it was saved on my laptop at home. But I’ve made the decision to look at it when I get back and send it off at by Sunday at the very latest. So I published 3 of my short stories onto my personal instagram account, my facebook and LinkedIn, and along with some minor tweaks to them later on, I hope people will like what they have to see.
When I got back, I started off the evening with some more relacing yoga. I was going to do it later on, but with needing my dad to help me with a job application, I decided to move it to the first thing I would do.
I then applied for some jobs on Spotlight, drafted some cover letters on Mandy and then started my application for a new day job. This is something that is not necessarily linked to acting, but it was linking to another passion of mine... animals. I have loved then since I was young, and after watching many animal fanatics, from Steve Backshall to David Attenborough, I find it definitely has a calming influence on me.
As soon as I completed my application, I took my sog for a walk, had a shower and watched the last two episodes of series 2 of Heartstopper whilst I had my second plate of dinner I made yesterday. The ending in particular was the ultimate scene for me, as the raw emotion from Nick and Charlie was just everything. The ending itself just left me wanting more, but with season 3 in production and also being greenlit for series 4, I can’t wait to see if Charlie sends Nick those 3 little words and if Nick feels the same. And who knows? Maybe you might see me on your screens in a show like this very soon.
I rounded off the day by watching Wednesdays Hollyoaks. And now it's getting closer and closer to Rayne's end, with Peri meeting a face from her past. But it seems to me that Rayne has other plans, as the ending of that episode has left me eager to know what will happen now.
I then ended the day with checking my social media stories and learning some more Korean and French. This time I actually managed to complete my daily goals, as one of them was learning a subject for a certain period of time. I was definitely proud of myself and I had a little helper as you can see
Saturday: Saturday was my usual early morning shift at work. But not before I watched more of the final episode of Serengeti. I have loved this series, and I'm really hoping there is another one on the way, as now one of the animals who was once a cub over the course of series 2 and 3 is now a mum of her own. So it would be interesting to see her parenting in another series, along with a new baby giraffe and his new adventure into the world.
Work itself was okay. I didn't listen to the Act On This replay from Monday, as I figured that when I planned my week last week listening to that made me more productive and it helped me stay on track in my schedule. So I plan to do the same again later. Although during the shift I had another autistic moment where I was told to go on the shop floor even though I'd been scheduled for picking. For me this threw my head into the works, as normally when i do pikcing i go onto the shop floor if its done early. And I had to remind them that if i need to stop the picking and go onto the shop floor for abit please let me know an hour in advance at least, because as mentioned before in a previous blog unexpected change can throw me. And I'm not blaming everyone for forgetting, as I know that they have a lot to do as well, but sometimes it's moments like this where not to sound horrible, but I wish they would remember so I didn't act in this way.
After my usual nap, I had my lunch whilst watching abit of The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. I was a little bit down due to the mess up earlier and the fact that my dad forgot to get me some pancakes. But I'll be honest, I'm also on my time of the month, so if my dad forgot them on a day where I wasn't on my time of the month I don't think I would react in the same way, but I know it definitely doesn't help.
The afternoon mainly consisted of me going back to my stories. I know I have other priorities to focus on but proving I can get some form of story writing going at least once a week is a bonus. One of the stories I focused on were based on my first outing with the actors workshop Nottingham a couple of years ago. This was based on ready fire aim, a show I went to see performed by some of the members. Initially I thought I had to remember everything to make the perfect story, but now I know that it’s not all that. Sometimes it’s the case of writing what you know and then you make it up using your imagination. So I think for me whilst I can’t remember every single detail (and I can’t believe this was 2 years ago), providing I know the key points from that night I’ll use my creativity to make it up. And it’s like with monologue writing, you wrote what you know to make it authentic and then you tweak bits to give it the acting element to it. I also looked at my story based in a big night out. I'm so proud of the development, and I can safely say that after a few tweaks, it's ready to now post next time I come back to it.
I then finished off the afternoon by reading more of Stephen Hawking's book and planning my week whilst I listened to an Act On This broadcast from monday. Seeing as I couldn't listen to it earlier, I did it whilst I planned my week as it helped me stay productive.
After planning my week and making a quick trip to the shops and taking my dog for a walk, I listened to a reply of high performance mindset coach Matt hall talking about a 3-day life enhancer challenge. I’ve always looked up to him and whilst I now can’t go to the live event in Manchester due to not being able to book the time off work, this course will help me know what I want from my life and also give me some newfound inspiration. As I’m not saying my day job is not great, but it can be draining at times, especially with the early start. So this course will be sure to give me a kick up the arse and give me that motivation back. This meant I only watched the first 10 minutes of World On Fire, but sometimes i need to make alterations and know where my priorities lie.
Shortly after I watched Thursdays Hollyoaks and then the first half of the new series of Gogglebox. I love this series, as who doesn't love watching people reacting to things on TV. My favourite family is the Siddiquis, as they've got such a calmed manner about them but also a good sense of humour. Sid (who is the father of Bassit, Umar and Raza), has got quite the humour about him, and I can see where the rest of the family pick it up from.
Before I went to sleep, I checked my social media stories, followed by learning some more Korean and French and read more of Stephen Hawkings book. I've not completed the second chapter yet, but I will catch-up next week as I've got more time to.
Sunday: As always Sunday was another early morning shift. Before I started it I watched the last of the final episode of Serengeti. And what a series it was. Who would’ve thought that hippos and crocodiles can be best friends after so many struggles!
Work itself was okay. Despite not having my headphones and now knowing I’ve lost them, it was all in all a good shift. I was going to ask a colleague who was leaving for university for his contact details, as they seemed like a chilled person and someone cool to be around, but with me being on my feamle probelms, I couldn't. So I asked someone else if they can give him my details. Let's hope i can stay in touch with him. I managed to catch a glimpse of the dragon boat racing in town. I didn’t stay for all of it as I was abit tired from last night, but thankfully I can home to some delicious pancakes from tambo lounge with my lunch.
I then had my lunch whilst watching some more World On Fire and then I started to listen to the first half of the act on this showreel surgery. This was important to me now more than ever as with now me booking a showreel scene to film, I need to know all the new bits of information before I make the showreel date official.
I then continued to plan my week. I managed to get it added in in 30 minutes, but I have a feeling that with the enhancer challenger coming up and ither stuff, I may not be able to get all the stuff i get done on each day, and if that's the case, then each night I may have to tweak some things around so I don't get too overwhemled, but also know what is a priority. This was then followed by a yoga session in the garden. It wasn't the nicest of weather, but it was actually quite refreshing when abit of rain poured on me.
After taking my dog for a walk, I Watched some Coronation Street with my dad whilst I had a delicious spaghetti bolognaise. I won’t give too much away, but let’s just say that Aadi was caught red handed, Stu got himself into a sticky situation and Paul has got a difficult decision to make.
Soon afterwards to end the week I watched Fridays episode of Hollyoaks. And I’m going to miss Donna-Marie so much, and even though her friends blame her for her same mistake, the main culprit (and for those of you who watches it you'll know who it is), will soon be revealed and then they we’ll need to give her the biggest apology yet.
I then checked my social media stories and learnt some more Korean and French to end a perfect week. And whilst we’re on the subject of French, first of all why did the review have a trick question for me which is translating the word Mexico to its French name? I’ve been listening and singing a song from the film “A Monster in Paris”. Now I’ve not seen the film, but the main song in it is one catchy tune. I aim to learn this song and record to post on my socials. When is another question as yes there is no perfect time to start something as that’ll never come, but at the same time I don’t want to get overwhelmed by taking on board so much. So the wise decision would be to write it down as a reminder and then once I’ve ticked off the other stuff from my to do list, the main one being to submit my actor jam material, I can record it and post onto my socials. And this song in particular is my cup of tea.
And the main thing that topped off my evening was talking to the bgt finalist. Even though we only talked through social media, our bond is now something that has grown in the past few weeks. I’m so lucky to have messaged him when I did, and now with meeting up slowly on the cards and him possibly being a part of my project, all I can say is watch this space.
What have I learnt this week?
If you take the harder root, you get an easy life, if you take the easy root you'll get a hard life. Which life do you want?
See you soon for another blog. Until next time…
This is the autistic actress signing off :)
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