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Exciting meetings, Blipping Out and New Goals

Hello world! Welcome back to another blog! As we head into the furth and final quarter of 2023, here is what I got up to that week!

Monday: Before I went to work I watched more of Saturdays Strictly Come Dancing. I don’t normally get to watch Strictly but when I do it’s amazing. And I must say, Angela Rippon is quite the competition. Mind you she did dance when she was younger, so my guess is that did play a huge part in it.


After Strictly as always I started off the day by going to work in my morning shift. During the gift I managed to rehearse my material for world mental health day and also a day player self tape. I don’t want to try and over rehearse it as if I do I’ll loose the momentum, but so far I'm proud of what I've done.

After a much needed nap and abit of lunch, the afternoon consisted of me listening to Act On This with Kelly Valentine Hendry, and I managed to get through all of 2 hours (as I listened to the last half later on). And what a podcast it was. From sag-aftra strikes to getting on her radar, it had it all. And now I need to watch The Wheel Of Time, as there’s actually a shot I can get on it! Obviously if I work hard and actually watch the show.

After the podcast I then looked at a script briefly from the series succession, where I picked out 2. I didn’t have the chance to look at them thoroughly but I’m willing to be committed to whatever I do next in the class. During this I also managed to set up a meeting for the short film. It was due to be today but because we didn’t make it official and also because Steve was filming as well, we moved it to Wednesday. This didn’t overwhelm me, as with the new schedule as mentioned by Matt Hall, I can plan this later in the day or even week and look at my priorities again.

After some afternoon yin yoga, I briefly checked my socials and also posted my review of I Used To Be Famous on my professional socials. I even got a comment from the Leo Long himself, who played Stevie in the film. And with the possibility that he’ll also be in my film, this could be something huge.


I then started to plan my day for tomorrow. And I was surprised by how much I got done on the first day. But this was only the first day, so I’m hoping to stick with it and when it gets tough, push through. This was then followed by taking my dog for a walk as always.

I then watched some coronation street. I was going watch it later but with my sister planning on making tea and having some friends over, the sooner we catch up the better. But in all fairness she had made a delicious dinner, even if it did have a kick to it. I even had to have some mince beef on the side to not only cool my mouth, but to also refuel myself as I was still hungry.

I then finished my application for a new day job and then watched the rest of the act on this podcast. And I ended the day with checking the rest of my socials and also learning some more languages, whilst having this delicious Halloween biscuit I got from Costa a few weeks ago. For some reason I’m now back to unit 5 on Korean and unit 3 on French even though I got to unit 6 for both of them. There must be a technical glitch on the app, but if it’s not the case then I won’t let that stop me from doing something outside of acting!


Tuesday: Tuesday as always I started going to the gym. But not before I watched more of Strictly Come Dancing. Although I might skip the last few acts as I think I’ve seen what I needed to see before the next show.


The gym itself was okay, except that it was pouring with rain, so I had to get a lift back. It did mean delaying a podcast listen as I listened to the first half on the way down but couldn’t on the way back. And that’s okay as these things happen. And to make up for not walking home from the gym I simply did some sit ups and start jumps as I knew I had some energy left in the tank.


After a nice shower I applied for some jobs on Mandy and then nudged my agents on Spotlight with some jobs I found (as you can nudge agents on spotlight to let them know of jobs you find just so it doesn’t confuse casting directors or those that out out the briefs). I then set up Tagmin, which is a website where I can see what I’ve been submitted for. It was a fairly easy process, as all I had to do was log in by creating some details. But I need to keep the information on hold for when I next log in.


I then got a call from Steve Watson about the meeting, where he mentioned to give him their email addresses for them to send the zoom link. I also mentioned about having an ice breaker before the meeting starts so that we can get rid of unwanted nerves, and also make everyone feel relaxed and to show that I’m just as nervous as they are. Steve thought it was a good idea, and he also mentioned on how it was a good idea that I do have people in mind for certain roles, but also open to other people. As he mentioned that when I did onto I wasn’t the initial choice, which I took as a surprise but also a nice compliment.


Once I sent him the email with everyone’s contacts as also emailed Chris Stone on a question with regards to travel, I then did some more surveys. This was just to help me focus on something else and not get me overwhelmed by my projects, as sometimes tapping into my special interests really goes help calm my nerves.

I then took my dog for a walk after it stopped raining, which was then followed by gathering some day player roles from Hollyoaks. With it now going to E4, and a frantic storyline happening this week, it was crucial I was up to date with any scenes and day player characters that made an appearance.

On the way into town, I listened to The Diary of a CEO on the way to Nottingham. This was the rest of Molly-Mae and it was so inspiring. I even bought some lovely new notebooks as I know it will be a while since I go back into town again. Yes I’ll need to look at my budget, especially now that I need to look at Airbnbs and taxis for the showreel shoot, but I also have my savings if need be.

I then did my acting class. It was lovely, as I saw people I haven’t seen in a long time! And it was a very nice surprise indeed. I feel I’m starting to get to grips with practical aesthetics and I can’t wait to see where it leads. I was going to show my monologue for actors jam but because we ran over I didn’t she’s time. However when there’s a problem there’s a solution, as I’m going to post it on the forum for everyone to see and hopefully gain some feedback.

When I got back home, which is where I also planned my day for tomorrow, I watched today’s episode of Doctors whilst tucking into a lovely chicken pie. I won’t give too much away like I normally do, but I feel Daniel has a lot of explaining to do when Zara finds out the truth.

I then watched the rest of Strictly Come Dancing. Yes I had to skip a few, as I had a feeling which ones would leave early, but the last contestant I feel as thought I judged too quickly, as they ended up getting the highest score of the night, and it was only week 1. So next time I watch it I definitely need to have an open mind.


And as always I checked my socials and once again learnt some more Korean and French. For some reason it still said that I need to complete unit 5 for Korean and unit 3 for French. I didn’t have a clue what was happening, but that still shouldn’t stop me from learning something new. In a way it may be a blessing in disguise, as I may get an exercise I did before but need recapping.


Wednesday: As always I started my day with going to the gym. On the way there I continued The Diary of a CEO podcast with Marisa Peers but on the way back I started listening to Jim Kwik. So inspiring on how after an injury to his brain from a young age he’s now able to help those form a better memory. I’ve learnt about him before after reading a book by him for my acting class, talking all about a limitless mindset, one of which was his to improve memory. I even had the limitless technique in an act on this podcast, where Matt hall told us the each of the methods on how to get a limitless mindset. I won’t lie I had to go over certain sections a few times as it was so deep in conversation. But I won’t let that be an excuse to listen on through the podcast. This was then followed by taking my dog for a walk.


I then filmed some of my submissions for actor jam to post onto the forum for feedback. I was also going to film some content for World Mental Health Day but the decorator had to finish some jobs in the house. So I simply made the decision to do it in the afternoon but also be prepared to move it to tomorrow after learning about the BPS model. I won’t lie, I have been thrown a little bit after that but I feel I’m dealing with it better. I know it’s only been 3 days so far but I’ve already had many challenges which yes may seem silly to others, but for me it’s overwhelming. But I feel I’ve been less overwhelmed and more solution based. And that’s what it’s all about. But then all of a sudden I had some free time, so I filmed 2 of my strongest pieces today and I made the decision film my other one either tonight or tomorrow.


As lunch came and with it coming to the afternoon, I did some surveys whilst I had lunch and also posted my cover of The Cup song from Pitch Perfect onto my socials. For some reason I couldn’t edit out 10 seconds of it on my phone, and I could do it with my actor jam practice videos, so next time I edit something I shall have to use my iPad instead, hoping that it’s just my phone that’s doing it.

This was then followed by looking at my I Used To Be Famous review. I think I’ve done well with that, as I’ve got a lot done in that period of time. I just need to add in the photo and have one last read through to make sure I've not missed anything and then I’m done. This was soon followed by drafting a email to Debbie Howard (director of Coronation Street and Emmerdale), briefly looking at a succession script (which I think I’ve now decided which one I'm going to look at) and doing some more surveys. There must’ve been a technical glitch with the surveys as errors kept occurring. My guess is, it’s the website that was causing them. Well I hope so anyway.

Had then a phone call with Chris Stone. I must day my head is spinning afterwards, as there’s so much more to organise. He did make me question about the type of role I was wanting to play. But I can see his point and I know now what to do realistically. So as of tomorrow I will email him the alternative. And I’ve seen Chris on Act On This many times, and I’ve watched him long enough to know that he’s an expert when it comes to things like this. So I will go with his decision and go with his alternative, as once thing I’ve learnt is my work comes down to my scene partner, I’m so if I don’t give off the reaction they want, then it’ll make the scene itself look bad. But I definitely left with a clear mind and even looked at examples whilst I chatted to him. Did it get overwhelming? Yes. However I will take one step at a time when it comes to things like this.


I then moved onto planning tomorrow. It’ll more or less be the same as what I did before, along with some extra little bits like posting my reviews if some Act On This podcasts I’ve listened to. You’re probably wondering how it’ll help my career, well it’ll show that I’ve been on the call with them, I’m promoting their community AND I’m being proactive!


After taking the dog for a walk and having some dinner, I then had my meeting with the crew from the project. There were less people than I anticipated but all I can say was thank god it was recorded. As those who didn’t make it will be able to watch it back. It was surprisingly inspiring for me, as those who I was thinking of casting for certain roles have swayed my decision. And I was also surprised by some of their stories. I won’t give too much away, but all I can say is I’m excited to get started. Yes it’ll be overwhelming and it is already overwhelming, but providing I take one step at a time, take a step back when it does get too much and ask for help when needed, I’m in the making of creating something really special.


As soon as the meeting ended, I recapped with Steve what I needed to include in the poll for who will do what, and watched Mondays addition of Hollyoaks. I’ve noticed that I think I’ve missed an episode, and I needed an account to log onto all 4 which I didn’t. But in some ways I’m glad that I didn’t as with Rayne's coercive controlling storyline reaching its peak, it’s still kind of hard to watch. So in some ways I’m sort of glad I didn’t watch it and then anything I do miss, I can research (thanks Google) and note down key points so that when I do get in touch with Peter Hunt again in a follow up email, I know what is happening.


After checking my socials and learning some more Korean and French as always, I noted down more thoughts of my TV recommendations. They're still not complete yet, and I'm still behind on them, but they're nearly done. And with me doing a lot more on the I Used To Be Famous review after I scheduled a time to work on it, I know I'll be able to get my next TV recommendations done in no time.



Thursday: To start Thursday I watched abit of Hollyoaks. As this one was an hour long, I watched the first half this morning and I planned to watch the rest before I start work. And I must say I’m so excited to see how Rayne will get out of a certain situation after she previously told a massive lie!


I then went to the gym. The gym itself was good, as not only did I get the job done but I also tried a new exercise. It was only for a few reps but it’s a small win for me. And by gradually implementing/switching my workouts, I’ll be able to grow muscles and work on areas I wouldn’t normally work on. With October coming up, I'll make sure I end this year going into the 4th quarter on a high.


On the way to the gym and back I listened to more of The Diary of A CEO with Jim Kwik. I’m still trying to take on board what he’s saying as there alot to implement, but one thing he did mention was that movement increases memory (or something similar to that) and that when I move whilst listening to a podcast or something informative, it’ll help me increase my memory of the information involved. So now I definitely need to listen to more podcasts! I then took my dog for a walk (where she nearly scared someone who was high on a roof doing a job. Naughty girl) and did some sit ups to make up for an exercise I didn’t do at the gym.


I then sent an email and message to two directors to let them know I existed and started cooking the tea which was pasta carbonara. A classic for me and also something simple and delicious! I then showed my Nan (who helped me with the dinner) some new clothes. And it’s safe to say I was happy. There’s definitely some clothes that I need to buy (like new tops and jeans) but I’m going to wait until I book my accommodation and trains for the showreel scene as that has to be my main priority. If it comes to it, I still have my savings to consider, but I'm going to wait until nearer the end of my budget again, as I may be able to make up some of my investments in areas which I haven't spent on as much.


As lunch came, I booked my Airbnb for showreel day. I was surprised by the cost, and I was considering to ask if I can get a refund and book a Premier Inn. Whether I do or not, I've got until 4pm on Tuesday and get a partial refund. My guess is, if I do get a refund, it'll either be the actual cottage but not the fee, or half of the total, which does include the fee. I don't want to worry about it too much, as it's done and dusted. This was then followed by watching more of Tuesdays hour long special of Hollyoaks (where I fear for Felix's wellbeing and also get a massive shock with regards to Rayne) and Doctors, before I made my way to work.


As soon as I got back from work, I posted my Act On This reviews whilst I had my dinner, and it's safe to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. As always I then ended the day with learning some more Korean and French, and checking my socials.


Friday: Friday was my all day shift as always. Before I went I watched the first half of yesterdays Doctors and also posted on my Facebook to ask if anyone can help me with getting some options for costumes for my showreel scene. So far I’ve got some good responses, but it looks like a trip to Primark on Monday or Tuesday (as I'm watching someone in a show that day in Nottingham), will be needed. Little did I know that this slight thing along with other stuff to consider would impact me badly today…

I didn’t get off to the best start in the morning, and I had to escape to the quiet room. I was hoping to speak to certain people who I trusted, not to day I didn’t trust anyone else but I felt more comfortable talking to them. But one of the managers came in and I was surprised by how supportive he really was. I won’t go into too much detail, and I know that where I work it’s a fast paced environment, but he was very clear that he didn’t want me to overwhelm myself if things got too much.


Afterwards and having abit of a sing song (as music is good for the soul), I continued on with my shift, and even booked my train ticket for Stoke-On-Trent for my showreel date. I know it wasn't all the jobs I needed to get done before filming day, but that was one of the priorities and it was a start.


When I got back from work I was also quite productive then, as I cancelled my taxi for the next day (as I was finishing earlier for a workshop therefore I needed to come in earlier) and looked at getting rid of some storage on my iPhone. This was then followed by messaging Steve the script through WhatsApp and nudging my agent on some jobs I found on Spotlight, which was then followed by planning tomorrow. This was then followed by finally putting up the poll for roles in the film and who would like to do what. I know it wasn't much but for me it's the small wins that count.


I then winded down by walking my dog and doing some yoga. The yoga itself was only 10 minutes, so not my usual routine, but it was designed to help me settle down. And I actually thought I was about to head off to sleep, so I think that's when you know something has had an affect on you.


To end the day, I watched the start of World On Fire whilst I had my second bowl of Pasta Carbonara. I normally watch it on Saturdays, but with Strictly back on, and actually wanting to watch it this year, I thought I best watch it now before I enjoy the glitz and glamour. This also meant its another show ticked off for my 3 month's goals, so I can now go into the 4th and final quarter of the year with new shows to watch and also new goals in place.

I then watched Wednesdays Hollyoaks, and a lot has happened. It seems that Dilly has not learnt from her errors, I have no idea where Felix is after the ambulance came, and after what happened to Rayne, it's really got my detective skills coming. And of course to end the day I checked my socials and learnt some more Korean and French.



Saturday: I don't really know how I slept last night, as I woke up at 3am after dreaming I was in an episode of Doctors (don't ask). But I made a note of what happened (well stuff I can actually rememeber). It may sound crazy but sometimes having dreams can make the best material. My acting teacher told a story a couple of years ago, where a film company make films from dreams they have had and were successful. So who knows?


As always I did my early morning shift. This time I had to be in earlier as I did a workshop at 10am. My dad had to get up early to take me due to me cancelling my taxi, and for that I will be ever grateful. Before I went to work I watched the rest of Thursdays Doctors. All I can say after that is I hope Al will be able to get the help he needs.


Work itself was okay. After yesterdays blip I feel a million times better. And during work I saw a message from the group about what I said about the script and the deadlines and it was very supportive. I even thought of ideas for a new self written self-tape inspired by Doctors, and even though I might not be able to get it into the casting directors in a short amount of time due to other commitments (as I don’t want to overwhelm myself) at least then it’ll show them them I’ve watched the show, know what storylines are happening and that I’m showing my creativity. Now it’s just the case to get it down onto paper.

As soon as I got home I logged onto a workshop where it is linked to self-tapes. It was more of a talky lesson but I already gained a lot of information already! Yes I’ve done the event twice but I know I have space to grow and develop my self taping strategy. One of which was not to wear plain dark clothes. I never knew about this before, so providing it’s not too distracting I just wear whatever suits the character best. Unless it’s a theatre audition or something where uniform is black, like a waitress.


I then watched the rest of the last episode of World on fire whilst I had my lunch. What a series! What a phenomenon. I do hope there’s a third series on the way, as the writing and actors were fantastic. I then met my dads friend who was really lovely. She was more bubbly and quirkier than I expected (in a good way obviously) and it gave me ideas for a future sketch.


To kick off the afternoon, I set some goals for last 3 months of the year. I actually quite enjoyed this process, as being the autistic geek that I am, I like how everything goes. But now that I’m implementing the BPS model, I went into the process of highlighting which tasks are non negotiable (the things I MUST get done) and which ones can wait until after the non negotiable ones.


To help me wind down after that mammoth task, I moved onto reading more of Stephen Hawkings’ book whilst the dog was sitting with me. It was such a lovely moment, as like I said, it’s moments like this where it’s good to have good and fluffy company by your side. No wonder they call a dog man’s best friend. Although I think she was more bothered about cuddles than me.

I then moved onto planning tomorrow for when I finish work and nudging my agent on some more jobs on spotlight. I’ve noticed int not had in any tapes bad 1 since I joined spotlight in November. But now that inside an agent, if after a certain period I’m still not getting self tapes, then a chat to help me go forward is definitely needed. and that’s why an agents job is, is to be a business partner and help me with my approach for me to get work.


I’ve must’ve caught the Strictly curse, but thankfully not “the curse” everyone keeps going on about. But I just watched lots of clips, mainly of Rose and Giovani (as they are such inspirations) and also of Tony Adams (as even though he was quite bad it was addictive to watch as well). This was then followed by taking my dog for a walk and then ringing my Nan to ask about my accommodation queries. She said that she would cancel her Airbnb and get a Premier Inn. I took that into consideration and I will make my decision in the morning (as if I did it in the might I’ll get overwhelmed and unable to sleep).


I then watched the first half of Strictly Come Dancing from tonight. Thank god I only watched the first half, as because I needed to be up early the next day I think a whole episode wouldn’t help me sleep. This was then followed by 3 quarters of Thursdays Hollyoaks (as I was slightly conscious of the time and I had to be up early the next day) and the first half of Gogglebox. I then ended the day and the last day of September with checking socials, learning more Korean and French and reading more of Stephen Hawkings book.


Sunday: The last day of the week and also the first day of a new month. As always it was my early morning shift, but not before I watched some more of Strictly Come Dancing from last night. I figured that this would be the secret to starting my day on a high on my early morning shifts, as boy there were some good dances. I was still surprised by one of the contestants scores, but compared to week one their confidence improved massively. Work itself was alright. I definitely felt more present and grounded after the past few days, and today just felt better.


I then got back from work to watch the rest of Gogglebox from Friday. My dog decided to join me for a cuddle (well before she started barking at the dogs on the tv) and it was really lovely. It’s moments like this where she makes me smile, as before then I had to pick umber up and take her to the other room, but she has a face of someone who’s just been electrocuted lol! But we love her and I think deep down she knows it (otherwise she would’ve have cuddles with me whilst we watch tv together).

The afternoon started with a simple task. This was collecting scenes and day player roles from Coronation Street and Doctors. There was a lot of scenes of characters who were my age range in a stand alone episode of Doctors, so I couldn’t get all of the time codes, but I made a note of what episode it was so when I do need to go back and note it down, I’ll know where the dialogue is from.


I then started an Act On This podcast with headshot photographer Tony Blake. This was my second time listening to him and I remembered the chilled laid back dude he was and still is. I’ve only spent 30 minutes on it so far, and already I’ve learnt that you can’t bring too many clothes to try on. And I’ll take this on board for when do my showreel scene, where I aim to bring at least 3 options of costume, but 5 maximum. And I also cancelled my Airbnb and decided to book a premier inn (as in the words of Lenny Henry: a great night sleep guaranteed). However I only got half of the money back. But then I remembered I put some money I took out before previously in my last budget, so I’ll ask my dad if he can get it back out again so I can book it. At this point with it being Halloween and soon after it being Christmas, I'm slightly conscious of my finances and even my savings. But for the last few months of the year, I will be looking at my budget and cut back on things which I know I won’t need like makeup (as unless I go out, which is very rare unless it’s a special occasion, I don’t need makeup) and clothes which I may want but I don’t need (as now I’m needing some new jeans for the winter).

As the evening drawed in, I started to plan my tomorrow by writing down stuff that I need to do (looking at the non negotiable stuff followed by the things afterwards). And this was then followed by updating my database on people I’ve contacted followed by doing some yoga to help me wind into the evening.


After I took the dog out and had a shower, I felt abit weird. But maybe I realised I had to unmask myself, as after what happened on Friday, maybe I needed to get the rest of the overstimulation out of my system. But I felt so much better afterwards, as you know what Shrek would say, better out than in.


As the event drawed to a close, I watched the last 10 minutes of Coronation Street from 20th September 2023. We were going to watch more but my dad has got a cold (and I must admit I think I may start to feel the affects of it) so we agreed to have a proper binge watch tomorrow when he comes back from work. So in the end I decided to watch Hollyoaks from Friday and some more Strictly Come Dancing. I must say, now that hunter has made the confession we needed to hear, we hope it doesn’t land him in hot after with Zoe. And I also must point out that I changed my opinion on Krishnan Guru-Murthy as he’s actually a really good dancer. but just to avoid getting too hyped up I gathered some more day player roles and possible scenes from coronation street. And now I’m up to date on both doctors and coronation street with regards to day player roles.


As always I ended the day with learning some more Korean and checking my socials. My dad was impressed with me saying a sentence in Korean, so let me know if you want me to record it and share it with you guys! I also booked my premier inn hotel followed by the taxi to it. I just need to double check the rain times before I book my second taxi to Chris’ from the premier inn, and providing I get some costume ideas by Tuesday evening, all I need to do is learn the lines and I’m ready to go!


What have I learnt this week? When it came to the end of week, don’t be afraid to ask for what I want! Even if it’s a simplest thing, the worst case scenario is they say no. And if that’s the case, as least you had an answer then wonder “what if?”


See you soon for another blog. Until next time…

This is the autistic actress signing off :)


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