Hello World! Welcome back to another bonus blog. I thought I'd write this blog to talk about one trait seen in autistic people like myself, how it can affect them and what you can do to help. And as it's Autism Acceptance Week this could not have come at a perfect timing. And this is the topic of communication, how socialising is a challenge for us and what you can do to make sure we as autistic individuals can get involved but at our own pace.
When it comes to the art of conversation, it can be tough. It's like going into a the lions den, and one wrong move can literally eat you alive. That's how i see it. In the past I tried to "blend in" and try to be involved in the conversations, but being what people perceive us to be "the odd one out", it can be lonely. And by the time everyone leaves, the mask is removed and you feel exhausted just for trying to have a "normal conversation". This is when the loneliest times come in, as you want to be around your friends, but then once you "mask" just to see them, the end of the day comes and you become even more lonely. I think for me, that's why the suicide rate in autistic people is high, as we try to blend in with everyone else, but our brains tell us differently.
Where am I going with this? Well as someone who's on the spectrum the social ques of conversations, being around lots of people, its hard to know who to talk to who without being overloaded with everything else around eachother. So for anyone who is interacting with a autistic individual for the first time, here are some suggestions which you can do to make conversation easy for us without putting on too much pressure. Once again, this is some of the stuff that help me, as everyone is different, but this may inspire you:
Ask about special interests-As mentioned before in a previous blog, this is where we're at lur most talkative. And as mentioned before for me, it's either acting, animals or the world of darts. And you may find out some surprising stuff you never knew before
Don't pressure us-This may seem general, but saying stuff like "Why don't you just speak up" or "you're a bit quiet" can have a negative impact on us. If from your point of view you feel as though we are "unsociable" or "miserable", we're not. As most of the time we're simply analyzing the new environment, what is happening where so then once we're comfortable that's when we can start to relax. A good example of this is a video I saw on Instagram from a boy called Toren Wolf, who posted a video of what I just told you. Please see the video here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4HQAaRRUjH/?igsh=MWVoZGNtdms4NzRjdw==
Make sure we have boundaries-I know it sounds needy, but the littlest things like a quiet room/time out area if we need it or fidget toys when we need to stim is our safe space. This will also help us socialise at our best once we've had that sensory stimulation, therefore making conversations more enjoyable.
Be kind-Something I mention time and time again but something that's also so key that people tend to forget. As mentioned in the previous point on not putting pressure on us, there's this expectation that once you're in a conversation you need to say something. But in fact its not the case. So even if its in a group, and you just listen and say nothing, that in itself is okay.
And those are my tips for helping autistic individuals like myself get involved in conversations without getting overwhelmed. As I said those tips above have helped me, and I know that everyone is different. But if you're reading this and don't know how to approach a conversation with an autistic individual, then I hope these suggestions have helped.
See you soon for another blog. Until next time...
this is The Autistic Actress signing off :)
Comments