Hello world! Welcome back to another blog. As it's also Neurodiversity Celebration Week, I must say that this week wasn't easy. But here is what I've been up to this week, which includes a birthday milestone and a trip to the swamp
Monday: To start the day I scheduled what I would be doing. I would’ve done it the night before but i needed to go to bed, and do you know what? I’m glad I did as it gave me a real focus on what needs prioritising and what doesn’t.
I then made my way to work. I’ll be honest Mondays is one of my least favourite days. It’s the start of the week, it was quiet and even though there was some picking to be done it was mainly facing up. However after going back to what good I can find in this situation it made the shift go quick. And that was enough for me.
I then had a call from Steve Watson about the film. So far all pretty good, and we have the places needed for a interview to help promote the film and now that we have an idea on when we need to screen it, it’s made me more ambitious to get it done for then. I also made a few housekeeping notes myself so that everyone is in the loop of what I’m doing if they have any personal queries they warn to ask me.
After walking the dog and having a nap I gathered some dayplayer roles from a few episodes of doctors and coronation street. I didn’t do all of them but it was a start so far. And that was all that matters.
I then moved onto an Act On This podcast with Kevin Boyle, where I split it into two parts and listened to the rest after my yoga session. He is a director and was also the director of Ross Grants episode when he was in the show a few weeks ago. And it also gave me a good sense of how he preps for filming, what he looks for in a certain role and also among actors feel comfortable as possible on set. And now that I know how to reach out to him I just need to go over my new intro email after learning it from the industry ready course and then hopefully by this well I’ll have another creative I’ve got on my database.
After a quick trip to the shops to get some more shampoo and conditioner I watched the final episode of After The Flood. This was a finale to remember, as without giving any spoilers away I did not expect the person who murdered Daniel to do such a horrific crime, and the real reason behind another characters “suicide”. I also wonder how Jo will cope after this huge discovery, and with her new addition to the family it’ll be intriguing to see how being a mum will affect the events she’s been through this series.
As the evening came to a close I went through my scripts for my audition. I knew I didn’t have alot of time, so as long as I know the who what where when and why I have something to lean on. I then checked my socials whilst scheduling my day which was then followed by some French. I only just managed to complete my daily goals in the short time I had and managed to get an early night. So overall I’m proud of myself.
Throughout the day noticing my shoulder was easing when my dad found where it being pinched. I don’t want to jump to conclusions or speak too soon, but there is no harm in seeing a physio just to be on the safe side. I think I’ll wait until after my acting work and then take it from there.
Tuesday: To start the day I watched Mondays addition of Doctors. It was a big night for Kirsty as the charity event has official took place. There were a few surprising moments to t the least. From a stuffed bird to a date with Luca, it had it all. And after a shaky start, with the help of Luca Bare faced his fears and showed his voice to the world. I also can’t wait to see how Kirsty's relationship with Dave develops, as she deserves some happiness and that Dave is a fine example of how it’s not about what’s on the outside but what’s in the inside that counts.
I then made my way to the gym. I had a decent leg session and did a good amount of boxing (but obviously being very careful due to my shoulder). And I even managed to go through my scripts for my self tape. As I’m writing this I’m two scripts learnt and half way through the third one. So overall I’m impressed with myself.
The morning was mainly spent watching an Act On This podcast with agent Niki Winterson. This was alot to take in, but it was also very informative. Even though each agent is different they all more or less have a similar structure on what they look for in actors. So overall it was a good session and took away a lot of things to build with my current agent.
During lunch I watched the rest of episode 2 of Saturday Night Takeaway and the start of episode 3. I’ll be honest though I was looking forward more to episode 3, as Lorraine Kelly’s I’m A Celebrity Get Out Of My Ear was the main thing I’m interested in. But Joe Lycett had been thrillingly entertaining so far so that’s made up for it.
To kick off the afternoon I made a start in tidying my room. This involved wiping the surfaces and even though it was only a small task it was a start. And that was enough for me. I also recapped my lines for my audition and as I’m writing this I’m finally off script. I just need to keep repeating it and fingers crossed I should be ready to go.
I then moved onto looking at more movement stuff for my reel. Along with recapping the routines I plan to put in, I took photos of some of the outfits I may wear for when I do record it. From this I’m going to send it to the people who I’ve done my course with for feedback and also some of the people I’ve done shows with to see what works best. I did have an original plan on what I would wear, but after doing the movement in different outfits it might’ve changed. So a good fashion show and some expert help I’d what’s needed.
Soon afterwards I skimmed through my national youth theatre account to see if there’s any other events happening and did some surveys. I also managed to send an email about an update on the material, but I’ve also made the decision to wait until after my Easter work and then if I still haven’t had my material sent in for them I’m going to record it as a self tape. I get that they’re busy people, but I did also keep a promise to myself that I would send the casting directors and other creatives what I’ve done creatively. So all I can say is watch this space.
I then settled into watching Coronation Street from 15th March. This had it all, and it doesn’t look like anything will get better for Roy. After being arrested and have a video of him online, even though we know he didn’t commit the crime in question I dread to think how he’ll cope when the investigation continues. I’ve also seen clips of newcomer Rowan on a new storyline, and after a disastrous wedding fair visit, Leanne has officially met him for the first time. I’ll be honest way he’s saying is really hard to understand but I think as the weeks pass through I may get a sense of his beliefs and values.
I then moved onto the first two episodes of Big Boys based on the creators true story. There are things that stood out to me already. First of all each episode is 30 minutes long which is ideal as then it’s more easy to binge watch them. And that one of the characters knew his sexuality straight away and being there to support him despite battling his own demons says a lot about the character. I can’t wait to watch the rest of series 1 and even start series 2 very soon, which I can then let the casting director of it know to show it’s the type of show I need to be aiming for. I then of course learnt some French and planned out my day.
Wednesday: To start the day I watched more of episode 3 of Saturday Night Takeaway. The best bit for me was Lorraine Kelly’s I’m A Celebrity Get Out Of My Ear! And it was a laugh, not only because Dec was brilliant at guessing people names, but the fact that Lorraine got away with every naughty bit And and Dec set her up with. But I have a feeling if the security guards watched this back they then start to realise that it wasn’t deliberate, and that they can’t be mad at ant and Dec for just entertaining the public.
I then made my way to the gym. I had to be careful as it was my usual arm session. Even though I’m not fully recovered from my pinched nerve I know I need to exercise it in some way to avoid it stiffening up. But it was a good session and after a run of my lines on my way to the gym and on my way back, I feel a sense of achievement after being off script for all of them yesterday.
As I got back from the gym I filmed my tapes. It actually went better than expected and despite a few slip ups, I was in the moment and got them done. But I did manage to get a couple of good bits for the outtakes, which I think is just as entertaining as the piece itself, as it shows that not everything is perfect. I then proceeded to note some more jobs on Mandy and Spotlight and whilst I managed to submit myself on Mandy, I’ve just noted down what I saw on spotlight and not nudge my agent on them. But that’s one thing I need to do before I go to my day job tomorrow and as long as I do that I’ll be happy.
During lunch I watched some more of Big Night At The Musicals from this year. Honestly it was amazing. One moment in particular was saying thanks to ushers like a man called Graham who has been a theatre usher for 30 years and even gave him a seat after him. and some of the musicals in question were fantastic, these included Hadestown, Mrs Doubtfire, the wizard of oz, where I was on the verge of crying as there was so emotion in there. and Hamilton where I couldn’t help but sing along. Two other musicals that stood out to me were Les miserable where all the Jean Valjean's, which included Alfie bow himself, came together for a very special performance. I’m surprised how I didn’t coke up as this song already makes me cry as it is. But when Guys and Dolls came on it really was the tip of the iceberg for me. I was fired I didn’t get to see this show but I could see why it would be impossible to get a ticket. I can’t wait to watch the rest of it in prep for Sunday.
To start the afternoon I finished writing up my blog for the Sean Glynn masterclass I had in January. As I’m writing this it’s now ready to post so be sure to keep your eyes peeled. I then also posted some more of my clothes I don’t wear anymore onto vinted. This was a huge achievement for me as even though the sale may not happen overnight, the fact that it’s out there for people to see is a win in itself. And as they say on vinted if you do wear it, sell it.
To help me relax I started more of my play in pre for the audition. As I’m writing this I’ve just finished act one and moving onto act 2. And I have noticed some traits in some characters, especially from the medical department. Fingers crossed I can use this knowledge to add into the audition room, and me and Margo had a lovely cuddle whilst I was doing so as seen below. This then moved onto learning some more Koreans and French. Now I did email a few times but thankfully I recovered and managed to complete my daily goals. So a win win ether way. I then moved onto gathering some day player roles and scenes from the soaps. As I’m writing this I’m up to date with Corrie and Hollyoaks but I have 1 episode left of doctors. But because it’s from this week I’ll be sure to be up to date by the weekend.
I then watched the start of Doctors from Tuesday. And good on Scarlett for speaking the truth to Nina about what really happened with Suni, and that even though he’s Nina’s son even she isn’t impressed with lying about it. I was also surprised to see the comedian from a couple of episodes ago, but it then showed a vulnerable side to him when he’s helping his granddaughter out. It showed that he really cares about her despite the traumatic past.
I then had my acting class. This is where I learnt some more Meinser and it is also the second to last session of it. I'm still trying to get my head around it all and even though I won't be able to catch up on the recording this week due to other stuff happening, I will definitely look at the homework being given. And because it's a small script I'll be able to learn them and come up with a scenario with my character to then hopefully make the technique easy to learn.
I then watched Doctors from Wednesday. I was gutted that the date Kirsty had with Dave didn’t go as planned, but after seeing spoilers of Dave making another appearance I have a feeling this won’t be the last we see of him. And after getting numerous calls from his date in the previous episode, Luca was definitely in for a ride when Martin brought him to do a certain activity together. Don’t worry it’s not “that” kind of activity, but you will have to watch it to find out what I mean by that. I was also surprised by live admission to rob on who Stew really was. Won’t say what, but maybe how she was treated was something that she was taught by older family members. Either way it’s not nice for Liv to go through.
I then moved onto the rest of Big Night of Musicals, where the finale from Grease was immense. And as I’m seeing a musical on Sunday I feel energised and ready to have a sing song. I then checked my socials whilst I planned the next day and sent in my audition tapes. Even though it was very late I managed to get them in, but I may give the company abit of a nudge just to let them know it’s in.
Although as the evening drew to a close I did start to have a spell of health anxiety. after my shoulder still bugging me for a couple of weeks my brain literally went into overdrive and kept fearing its the wrost case scenario. But I know that worrying won't change anything, and that it is most likely a trapped nerve. So I made the decision to say that after my Easter acting work I will go to a physiotherapist and see what they can do.
Thursday: To start the day I watched Mondays addition of Hollyoaks. I know there would be drama involved after Warren found out the truth about Ella’s death, but I did not expect the ending where Ste finds himself in a dangerous situation. But I think Lucas and Leah leaving is the last thing on their mind especially when he consoled Frankie on what’s happening with JJ.
I then made my way to the gym. Sadly I didn’t get the chance to do any boxing even though there was no private session on today. But I still had a good workout and of course went easy on the arms.
After watching the rest of Saturday Night Takeaway, were Olly Alexander did a brilliant end of the show show, I made my way to cook the tea. I was proud of myself as eve though I had some assistance from my Nan, I practically was on my own with it. And I can’t wait for it to grow. This was then followed by nudging my agent on some jobs I saw on Spotlight and after a promo song reply from her I think all seems positive. I don’t want to think too far ahead but for now I’m learning to be grateful in the moment.
The final thing I did before lunch was that I started to listen to an actors expo clip on creating my own show. It was a really fascinating session as after mentioning the studies on geniuses, they said that they blamed schools for decreasing the number of geniuses as the students got older. I’m suddenly intrigued by it and I can’t wait to watch the rest tomorrow on why that is.
I then watched Tuesdays addition of Hollyoaks whilst I had lunch. And I can’t wait to see what Rita Simmons has to offer when Abe and Joel’s mum Marie comes back into their life, and what an enterance she made. And with Mercedes witnessing what can only be heartbreak for her, I don’t think it’ll take her long to get revenge on her. I also dread to think how Cindy will react when Ste tells her the truth and by the looks of things not good. And Carter rejecting Maxine on the intimate side just goes to show that after seeing him and his backstory, he’s suppressing who he really is. It’ll just be a matter of time before the truth is revealed.
I then made my way to work. Before I did I managed to email some casting directors on a follow up email and also emailed a new creative in the form of director Kevin Boyle. And with the help from act on This I managed to get it sent. But during work I felt a sense of loneliness and loss. I felt like I just needed an escape and a release from reality. But there have been some positives throughout the shift. This was getting a nice reply from a writer I reached out to a couple of weeks ago, writing done what I felt which could be useful as a piece for autism acceptance week and someone buying one of my old clothes on vinted. Someone even volunteered to finish a job as I had to leave. Even though as I said before Waitrose isn’t my life long plan, it’s moments like this where I do have some good people in my life. And that’s what really matters.
As I got back I watched abit of the premier league darts whilst I had my tea and planned tomorrow. Although I think I spent more time laying with Margo than actually eating it but do you know what? I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I then checked my acting socials whilst I applied for an acting job and did some Korean and prepping some upcoming posts to help wind into the evening. It was only the one session due to getting up early in the morning. But even though I wasn’t at my best I managed to complete 1 of my daily goals. And that’s good enough for me.
Friday: I had a good morning. I didn’t do much but it gave me more time to wake up and that the only thing I did was prep some drafts of some posts to put online. And Margo here was looking so cute, knowing I was going to work again.
I then made my way to work. This was a very interesting shift to say the least. As the picking was done early I was facing up for the morning. Then before lunch I faced quite arguably one of the biggest tasks which I’ll be honest I don’t think it did my shoulder any good. Long story short there was a technical fault meaning that we had to throw a large amount of stock away. But what intrigued me the most was how positive everyone was during this time. And I think it was that affect that got everyone through and completed the task at hand. But it got abit too much for me in the afternoon. As my shoulder was still a bit sore and after a little situation which impacted yesterday it did tip me over the edge. However I took a minute, sorted it out and carried on. And for that I’m very proud of myself. I even had a nice reply from an industry creative I emailed yesterday. So that definitely helped end the day on a high.
As I got back I caught up on some actors expo clips. One was the rest of creating my own solo show and the other was looking at how to do any form of accent. Both of them were insightful for different reasons, and now I need to get on from act with them to build that connection.
To help me relax and wind down I walked my dog and did some yoga. This was always beneficial for me, especially today. As after still feeling the need to escape and wanting a release from reality it did still had an affect. But the yoga helped me more than ever to feel zen. This was then followed by checking my socials from my personal sides.
To settle in the evening I first began by watching Thursdays instalment of Doctors. This one saw Al host another podcast on a what was previously thought was a supernatural phenomenon. But without giving away any spoilers it was a completely different story. But I’m glad that Al has got the podcast up and running again.
I then watched episodes 3 and 4 of Big Boys. I knew the Jacks grinder date would end badly but I didn’t think it would be quite as bad or as awkward as what did happen. And after a speech at the sexual awareness event we can see where Danny’s depression originated, and not just because of his gran (who the actress playing her is a familiar face). But after initially turning down a therapist I’m glad that Jack was there for him in episode 4 which was what I think he needed. And I did enjoy the part where them two and Corrine and Yemi got high after eating “edibles” as it breaks up the comedy just nicely, even if Danny did get himself into an awkward situation. And I can see why Jack fancies his lecturer. And that’s all I can say for now.
I then rounded off the day by watching Wednesdays episode of Hollyoaks. I ant believe that Ste has confessed to everything, and whilst Tony and Diane are not hateful towards him he’s going to have a lot of making up to do for those wounded him. And after Joel and Leela hear a massive discovery I think they’re in for real danger. And all I can say about Abe is that even though he knows his mums real reason for why she came to the village is true, he has a mad part to play in it, and I don’t think she’ll be impressed. All I can ask on that subject is why.
I then moved onto checking my socials from my acting page (as I checked my personal ones earlier) and learnt some Korean. But when I went on the Duolingo app I noticed that the set up for French has been changed again. So I made the decision to focus on Korean for now and then work my way through French later on.
Saturday: To start the day I watched abit of the premier league darts from a few nights ago. Again this helped me a lot with keeping my energy up especially since I would be going out afterwards. I then made my way to work. I still felt abit lonely after yesterdays gruelling task but I ploughed through and got it done.
After a quick nap I went to the riverside pub in farndon as a lunch for my grandads 80th birthday. It was surprising only a lovely day as I got to catch up with family relatives and met two of my grandads new friends. Both of them from the Black Country. And I had a good time in my own way. Which was going outside to avoid sensory overload, going elsewhere when they sing happy birthday and also enjoying some delicious pub grub. So all in all it was a good day and I think my grandad enjoyed it.
As I got back I brain dumped next week whilst I listened to the start of an act on this broadcast. I know I normally do this on Sundays but because I was out all day the next day I decided to do it then. Thankfully I got that job done and dusted. I then walked my dog and did some yoga. And after finding out about my train times for tomorrow this was definitely needed. And you’ll be surprised by how relaxed I felt, as along with a nice hot shower it set up the evening nicely.
As the evening kicked in I checked my socials from my personal account (with Margo happily playing with her bone as seen above), and then I moved onto the last 2 episodes of Big Boys series 1. They definitely flipped the mood as the 5th episode followed jack trying to go “all the way” all while Danny tries his best to hide what’s happening. And then the last episode was a real heartwarming moment. Even though I saw it on gogglebox it was a perfect ending to a brilliant series. And I loved how adult jack made an appearance to help Danny do the worst case scenario. But now I’ve watched it I can’t wait to watch series 2 starting next week.
I then after checking my socials from my acting page moved onto Thursdays addition of Hollyoaks. I have the feeling that we may be on the verge of a coercive control storyline with regarding Abe, and after the scenario at the end of the last episode I think I can see where it’s stemming from. I also know that you do not want to mess with Joel after he makes a huge discovery from Warren, and that after seeing spoilers I don’t think Maxine will react well when she hears a huge revelation.
To finish off the day I watched the first half of Gogglebox. I had alot to say on that, as I suddenly feel the need for a cheese toastie, and that with bake off looks aren’t always essential. I also know that I don’t want to be married to a medium and the biggest grungy moment of all was Anton and goivanni singing. That’s all I’ll say on that score. I then moved onto doing some Korean. Once again as it’s a new topic I didn’t perform at my best but I managed to complete 2 of my daily goals. And that was enough for me.
Sunday: I knew it would be a long day. So to start it off I watched abit more of the premier league darts. This was to keep my energy up and it certainly did a good job of it. I also posted a video of how what life can be like as a neurodivergent individual on a bad day, which you can find on my TikTok @theautisticactress.
I then made my way to work. The picking was done early as always and I did get emotional once again. I think part of it is the fact that I’m due on (ladies you’ll know my pain) and I don’t think my shoulder helped either. But on the play side I finally had people sign up to my tournament. Now all I need to do is pick a date that suits us all and then take it from there.
I then made my way to Nottingham. I also bumped into one of my friends from my day job, which was nice as I had some company on the way there. Although I was surprised that I actually got a seat knowing how busy it was. But it was a relaxing journey.
It then came. The show. I’ll be honest it wasn’t my first choice but you know what? I was willing to go in with an open mind and I’m glad I did. The show had many differences from the original film, but then again you had to adapt to it as sometimes things from the film may not work on stage. But it was a fantastic show, especially the end song. I won’t say as I know that I believe you’ll be singing and dancing along to it for years to come (and the clue is what I just said there). I then had some time to kill so I spent it having a quick drink at a cool pub and did a survey on the way back, which I finished later on.
As I got back I had my dinner (which was a vegetable lasagna), I watched Fridays addition of Hollyoaks. Abe is definitely reminding me of Geoff from Corrie, as I swear Abe will be the centre of coercive control and that Cleo will be the unlucky victim involved. I also wonder what Maxine will do after she hears John Paul’s and Carters secret.
As I settled into the evening I did my budgeting table and checked my socials from my personal account. I then learnt some Korean where I didn’t do great but because I needed to be up very early the next morning I decided not to carry on. But I know now that despite this knock back I can carry on stronger.
What have I learnt this week? In the words of Shrek I’m a believer if I tried. And if I use that in all aspects of life, both personal and professional, linking back to what I belief to be true, then it’ll lead me to a more fulfilling, successful and most importantly happy life.
See you soon for another blog. Until next time…
This is the Autistic Actress Signing off :)
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