Hello world welcome back to another blog. Here is what I got up to on the week commencing 28th august 2023. A challenging week but it only made me stronger as a person!
Monday: Quite possibly the hardest day for me. As today marked 11 years since I lost my mum. I was surprised I managed to get through the morning shift, but after watching Conversations With Friends and listening to some music before the shop opened, I felt so much better.
I was going to go to The Flying Circus today to watch the musician perform and also hopefully know where I stand with him. But after the morning I had I asked the manager I met a couple of weeks ago if we can change it to tomorrow and she said yes. In all fairness it was probably a good job I changed it to the next day as an early morning shift and an emotional day like today is not exactly the best combination.
On the way back from work my dad talked about how my sister is going to make some enquiries to see if me and her would get a chance of early access to a breast screening. It did take me by surprise at first, as I fear that I would think the worst like I always do, but then my dad made it more clearer. The whole point of it was to see if me and my sister had a gene meaning there’s a chance that me and her would also catch breast cancer like our mum, and if we did, then we would possibly gain early access to a breast screening. Then if they do find something they can treat it early and the chances of it becoming cancerous is very unlikely. This made me feel more at ease, as it’s abit like going for a cervical screening (which I’m dreading but it I know when I come of age for it, it has to be done) where it’s done a regular basis.
After my nap and watching Celebrity Masterchef during lunch, I then did my tasks for the day. They weren’t as strenuous due to it being bank holiday and also an emotional day. But some bits of it were scheduled and others weren’t.
What was scheduled initially I actually did earlier which was look through my storage to see what I can delete and what I could keep. And it’s helped a lot as even though it didn’t get rid of much, it somehow made my mind clearer. I was slightly disappointed though as I was hoping to meet the musician and wanting to see if those feelings for me are still there. As whilst I’m glad I didn’t go to give him more space, there was also a part of me that wanted to apologise for over messaging him and also make it up to him. I’m hoping I can get an answer very soon on if he does want to still get to know me, but now I’m learning that if he definitely doesn’t, then I need to accept that. It’ll definitely be a hard pill to swallow if he does make that decision, as it’s different with him. Because along with being a fellow creative, (which really does help), he’s the first person since my ex that I can see as boyfriend material. And yes I did try and get to know other people but there was nothing there other than crushes, whereas I do see potential. It’s just a matter of time before he gives me an answer and if it’s not the answer I want, then I must remember from past mistakes that I can’t force anything if he doesn’t feel the same anymore.
I then drafted out a few emails to autistic creatives in prep for later in the week to ask questions about their diagnosis and how it made them the people they are today. I’m also hoping that those who said they can do it can as it would be a brilliant opportunity for them.
I then applied for some more Mandy and Spotlight jobs. I was slightly annoyed as one job required a self-tape but I didn’t know until just today. I then made the decision to pass on the opportunity as even though it’s in an area near me, sometimes you have to learn when to say no. And also I remembered that sometimes I need to meet rid of the good to make room for the great. So this may be an opportunity that I was disappointed to miss out on, I know there’s a better one around the corner. One of which was Chaplin's Pantomime. Even though the auditions are in London I’m a massive panto fan and I can see myself aim towards that genre.
I then did some relaxing yoga outside before scheduling some reshoots for my Some Like it Notts sketch and also look through a script for an audition. This audition was meant to be on the Tuesday, but I made the decision to send it as a self-tape, which the director of the show accepted. I didn’t know if it would hinder my chances of getting another role in a show at the lace market, but sometimes in life as Ross Grant would say, sometimes you need to ask for what you want.
I then took my dog for a nice walk. We didn’t go far but just enough to clear my head. This then followed by a nice hot shower and a delicious tea whilst watching Celebrity Masterchef. I then had a choice afterwards as to what I wanted to watch. As after episode 7 of series 1 of Heartstopper, I had the choice to watch a Netflix film, World On Fire series 2 or Serengeti. I then made the decision to watch Serengeti but kept the dog in the other room with my dad. It’s not very often I get to watch the animal channels, but when I do it's so calming, relaxing and there's more drama than watching humans on tv. I guess that’s what the power of animals can do to you.
I then ended the day with learning some Korean, and French and checking my socials. This took a really long time to go, as I signed up to super Duolingo. This is a more advanced version of the app where I get unlimited hearts and no ads available. And this was what I needed as I ended up doing it for an hour and didn’t get to sleep fully until 0:30am. But I loved it so that was all that matters.
Tuesday: Today to start of the day I started watching episode 3 of Serengeti whilst my dog was in bed. It definitely set me up for the day as animals do something to the soul and the fact that this was voiced by Adjoa Andoh (who is best known for playing Lady Danbury in Bridgerton), it’s an even more immersive experience.
I then made my way to the gym as always listening to more of Steven Bartletts The Diary Of A CEO, carrying on from the interview with Whitney Wolfe Herd, the founder of the dating site Bumble. Her story is really fascinating, as she grew up in a town where for a women. starting your own business was seen as a shame, as she was brought up to be shown that the men work and women stay at home. But she broke those rules which led her to work in the world of business at 22 where tinder started. I can’t wait to listen to the rest on how bumble was made.
During my session at the gym I saw an old colleague (who I mentioned before left in March and also came to visit a couple of months ago) and I so wanted to say hi to him. But I then decided not to as not only did I just miss him after I did the bike, but that also I didn’t want to interrupt his flow during his workout. I never knew what it was I feel for him. Whether it’s just a crush and nothing else or something more, as during my time at Waitrose he made sure I was cared for and that all of my needs were kept. But it was just one of those things.
On the way back I listened to the rest of The Diary Of A CEO with Will.I.Am and I’m literally inspired by him. You see him as this outgoing quirky creative, but it’s conversations like this when you get to see the real him. So that he definitely inspired me and has seen Will in a different light.
I then did a reshoot of the talkie moment for my Some Like it Notts sketch, where in the space of 20-30 minutes I got my talkie bits done and an outtake moment for me to add in. I didn’t get chance to film the one chat up line, but with my dad going back to school tomorrow that’s a perfect chance to get everything else filmed.
I then started to listen to another Act On This podcast, with actor Andrew Downbiggin. I’ve not seen The Bay, but he plays a regular called James “Clarkie” Clarke, but after seeing a clip of him in action I must schedule a binge watch of it (as it’s also casted by the same people who cast Bridgerton). His story is definitely one that’s motivating, as before he became an actor, he worked on construction then went to drama school where he trained as a theatre actor (which if anyone is wanting to be in just the gate that’s essential but not necessarily for screen acting). We then went through the story of how it took him 11 years to get that leading role, doing jobs in and out of the industry and when he actually got the chance to audition for The Bay, he got a character with 2 scenes (and one which he didn’t initially audition for but got a straight offer from a previous audition) but then or developed into a regular. So it just goes to show that with hustle hard work and not quitting when times get tough, you will get there. I’m now up to the Q&A now and I’m going to listen to the rest of it tomorrow. But I’m already hooked.
I then had some lunch whilst watching the series finale of Heartstopper series 1 and I honestly can’t contain myself after that series. Such a sweet innocent love story and I couldn’t ask for anything better! Well done Daniel Edwards and the rest of the team. Can’t wait to binge watch series 2!
I then headed to The Flying Circus in Newark, in the hope of using this as a venue for my short film. Fun fact: the pub was originally a blues bar which has low developed into a bar for live music and has memorabilia from Monty Python, and The Flying Circus was named after a sketch from the show. But after hearing that they got another letter from the council about the noise, I’m not sure if the function took they had would be useable for music. Which is such a shame as when I stepped foot onto the stage and imagined myself singing in front of an audience (don’t ask lol) I knew that something should be done. So after the manager gave me a tour, I looked for a contact from the council to message in the next week and then I headed back into the function room to have a look. I’m really hoping to make a community from this place, as they are steampunk and LGBTQ friendly (as the manager, the steampunk actors and some of the staff are lgbtq themselves) so if I can make this place autistic friendly then that’s another next step into this project. I also did a video diary about it in the hope of adding it into the documentary.
I mentioned how they got another letter from licensing about he volume from the music. And it was from the same person who made the same complaint. Why are they doing it to a venue where all they are doing I giving people free entertainment. This made me more determined to have the film at this venue, as now that I've seen for myself the amazing scenery and watched online all the amazing artists they have on (including the local musician who wants to get to know me), I will be with the every step of the way.
I then made my way to the train to go to my acting class. We did a lot of stuff linking to improvisation, and Tim also talked about other skills briefly from a handbook he recommended, which I need to get a paper copy of urgently. I definitely feel I need to work more on my improv as I haven’t done it in a while, but at least I have it a go. And after the past few days if struggling a good laugh really does help.
On the way to the train station I had a lovely chat to one of the members. He’d only been going for a couple of months but mentioned that he’s going back to work on Tuesdays meaning he’ll struggle to make time to come to class. And respect to him for it as we all need money when we’re not acting. Either way this chat was definitely needed to wind down after a whirlwind of a class.
On the way back I tweaked some questions for the possible participants for my film and in the documentary in general and as soon as I got home I tucked into a Carvery my dad and sister got me whilst watching Celebrity Masterchef.
I then ended the day with learning some more Korean and French as always and then I wrote done a draft of a possible monologue. This was inspired by my most recent visit to the flying circus and how why music is not just a job but how it can bring people together. I’m hoping to take a risk when applying for this years actors jam but also get people to pause and reflect. And I’m hoping that if I get selected for this piece I can do just that.
Wednesday: Wednesday was a strange one. Instead of listening to The Diary of A CEO on the way to the gym I researched some lines for my audition for the importance of being Ernest and listened to multiple songs on the way back. It was weird, but maybe my mind wasn’t in the right place to listen to the podcast. And that’s okay. As maybe I needed a break from listening to the podcasts so that when I start it again my mind can be fully focused. It’s like taking some test days at the gym and then when I come back to it I’m stronger and more motivated.
I then filmed some reshoots of my Some Like It Notts sketch. I got it done quicker than I expected, with just one more shot left to do, which will only take me 5 minutes max.
I then had the mammoth task of editing my Security Guard sketch! Boy what a task that was! And it looks like I’ll need to split it into a 2 parter for twitter/X and TikTok. Even though that was the plan anyway I’m dreading the outcome! But the footage I got was fantastic and I can’t wait to get started.
After having my lunch as seen below whilst watching more of The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, I then finished the Andrew Downbiggin podcast on Act On This. What an inspirational guy, going from construction to the bay regular, and he is living proof that you’re never too old to follow your passion. And that’s something for me to take on the chin. As yes I’ve not got my first tv role yet, but providing I keep hustling and working hard and keep listening to the podcasts I will get there. I’m yet to edit my self tape I did a few weeks ago linking to the coronation, and with me seeing the show tonight I know I won’t have time before. But I’m going to relax, take a deep breath and do it tomorrow for me to send to the Casting Directors I’m aiming it for before I start work or first thing on Friday morning.
As I got ready to watch The Importance of Being Ernest, I watched many AGT and BGT golden buzzer moments. These included Musa Motha, who I can see why they broke the rules, as he’s such an inspiration, and after seeing him in Peaky Blinders: The Redemption of Thomas Shelby (which I mentioned in a previous blog where I did a review of my day out in Birmingham), I can definitely see why. I also watched other clips like a dance group like Mayas, lavender again and a choir from South Africa singing a song by Nightbird. Nightbird was a singer who when she auditioned for AGT, she had cancer. And she couldn’t make the live shows due to a decline in her health, but she remained positive until the end and reminded us that you can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore for you to be happy. And the choir I watched did the perfect tribute to her and put their own little spin on it.
I then made my way to Newark where I stopped by at my old job and had a drink there because why not? It was good to have a catchup with a member of staff as well, who’s really good friends with my dad.
During the show I met up with an old school friend who I haven’t seen in ages. We were friends since year 1 and it’s good to have a nice catch up.
I thought the show itself were fantastic. Even though this is a classical play, I got the references and the story itself was brilliant. And I just say, the actor who played Jack Worthing was a very good looking man! It’s a shame he didn’t have his social media handle, as I couldn’t slide into his DMs (lol). I know I’m waiting for the musician to see if he still wants to get to know me there’s nothing wrong with a bit of window shopping.
I then ended the day with some more Korean and French. Even though I didn’t compete all of my daily tasks, the main goal was to keep up my streak. As long as that continued I’m a happy bunny. I then ended the day with pairing my reviews of The Little Mermaid and Twelfth Night onto my socials, to show that I went to watch these amazing shows.
Thursday: As always I went to the gym. I listened to more of The Diary Of A CEO with Whitney Wolfe Herd and it was honestly still so inspiring. The gym itself was brilliant as I felt like I had a proper good workout. I didn’t even care that I was back later than I expected. After a shower, I then got to work on drafting some emails to casting directors to send tonight when I come back from work or first thing in the morning before work. So far I drafted 3 emails to send so I’m going to upload the tape I’m sending to YouTube and then send it to the appropriate casting director I’m emailing in the hope of getting seen. This is particularly important as I found out that Waterloo Road is greenlit for a further 2 series after the latest one has finished filming, and with me being younger than my actual age I had to jump in at the chance.
I then started to apply for a job at the Theatre Royal Concert Hall in Nottingham. I know it’ll mean travelling but it’s a flexible job, it’s around an environment I love and I worked out that it’s actually cheaper to travel than getting a taxi.
I then started cooking the story fry whilst having a sing song. I was slightly on edge already as I was worried I didn’t get my tasks done in time, but I cooked the stir fry and finished filming the rest of my reshoots for Some Like It Notts. A challenge it was but I did it.
I then posted my latest blog from last week, and watched some more Hollyoaks during my knock. Before then I drafted some emails to send to some participants for my project. These two were people I reached out to before, so I’m hoping they read the email and then if they can do it great but if not then sharing it and answering the questions I gave out should hopefully be just as helpful.
On the way to work I messaged Steve Watson about coming into The Flying Circus so he can see the possible venue for himself. He was keen on the idea as even though I’m the director of this project, it’s good to have an extra porn of eyes and support me if things take a turn for the worse.
Whilst I was on my way to work I saw a really nice guy on the way to Morrisons who gave me a cheeky smile back when I did. I was so tempted to ask for his number, but in the end I didn’t didn’t m, as even though I said to myself that one of my goals is to get back out there into the art of romance, I just panic and feel like my heart is punching out my my chest. I'm starting to wonder if it’s a normal and if it is how I’m going to control it. And also still not hearing back from the local musician and my growing network with the finalist from BGT, should I be really flirting my arse off? Either way I’m single so I’m not hurting anyone.
Before I started work, I saw the security guard who I feel when he messages me he gets clingy. I still don’t think he gets the message, so during my shift even though he shut me out when I smoked at him, I decided to ignore it for my own sake and tired to be civil.
During work I felt abit emotional. Party because me being the me I am I left getting a reference for a new job till last minute (in all fairness I didn’t know until got started the application today). And it was at that point where I was just done at Waitrose. And before anyone says anything it’s not the company itself, but I just need a change from retail and explore what’s out there. I also know that I need something more flexible whilst looking for acting jobs. But after a lovely lady asking me a query and also doing a panto joke with a fellow colleague, I felt a million times better.
I then got home and had a my dinner whilst I watched Hollyoaks.
Shortly afterwards I edited my drafted emails and also the call outs for my project. So then tomorrow I can send them out and also work on the ones who I’m reaching out to the first time. As we are now heading into September, it’s now circus to get in touch with those who have shown interest and hoping I can know more about them as a person.
I then checked my socials (which I shouldn’t do before bed but it’s one of those occasions where it happens) and looked at some jobs to apply for. I noticed that I didn’t get round to applying for some jobs, and therefore missing the deadline. Yes I’m annoyed with myself for that, but I also remembered that life happens. and with the anniversary happening I knew that didn’t help. But I then also remembered that what’s meant for me will pass me by. So even though i missed the deadline for some jobs I really wanted, I know there will be even better opportunities for me out there.
During the evening in between all of that I messaged the BGT finalist once again. This time we got pretty deep. And just to give you a glimpse of how deep we’re talking, we talked about “things”. I was quite shocked by it, but I decided to be open and honest. As I’ve been in a position where I’m comfortable talking to him about anything, so I was open and honest. I honestly think he’s the most inspiring person I’ve talked to. He made time to chat to me knowing that after BGT he’s had a lot of work, so there must be something about me he’s drawn to. And he even said that we would need to meet. Although this puts me in a difficult position, as I’ve not spoken to the musician in ages, and since I told him that I burn for him (and for those of you that watch Bridgerton you’ll get the reference), we haven’t actually met up for a date. So it’s getting to a point where my head is starting to turn, so I need to know where I stand with him ASAP before I make a decision.
I then ended the day with posting my self tape onto my socials in preparation for me to send to the casting director aligned to this tape. I know it was late, but if I didn’t do it now I never would.
Friday: Friday I went to work as always. Before I did I drafted out some final emails to send to Michelle Smith, Andy Pryor and two participants to hopefully be let off the project in some shape or form. A nice start to the first day of September 2023. Or so I thought…
When I got to work it’s literally yesterday all over again. Things for too much during the picking. And when it was finished I had to go up to the quiet room. All I can say is thank you for free writing, as I was able to write down what I was feeling. I showed this to my colleague who’s a very understanding about it. So after the chat I had a minute, looked at some airbed and finished the application for a new job. I then also looked at getting a ticket subsidy for a show I saw a couple of months ago in the hope of getting some money back. But it didn’t last long.
After my colleague had a chat with my colleague, she insisted that I head home and that when I finish watching Oppenheimer, I ring up and say if I’m coming into work or not tomorrow. And I think she was right I headed home.
As I got back, I decided to chill on the sofa, before watching the first 2 episodes of World On Fire series 2. All I can say is so far I’m loving the new series. After not watching the first one for a good few years, all of the characters and what’s happened suddenly came back to me. It’s amazing what a recap can do for the memory, and it has honestly did me some good. I then did some yoga before applying for some more jobs on spotlight and Mandy. I was surprised by how little jobs I needed to apply for, as there are some that needed to be in for today and others not for a few days. So I’m planning on applying for them at the weekend or Monday. Fingers crossed my mind will be more at ease when I do.
Soon after I watched those episodes, I went out into the garden to do some yoga. I didn't do the usual yoga for stress and tension, so I did one to help me feel calm and relaxed. And boy was it needed. Even though we're coming to the end of summer the fresh air is amazing for activities like this. It didn't make me feel 100% better, but it definitely helped get some blood flowing in the body.
Soon after that (and also in between episodes of World On Fire), I applied for some more jobs on Mandy and Spotlight. I only managed to apply for a couple, and also noted some more new jobs that were posted. I knew it wasn't alot, but even the smallest achievements can have a big impact. I just know that now I need to get into the flow of applying more regularly so I can double my chances of getting work. And one way I also need to up my chances is to get some new showreel material. So I need to put down in my schedule for next week to check and send an email to Chris Stone about availability for early October for a new showreel scene. I always admired Chris for his work on making custom scenes for actors, so as long as I can book a date and find someone to split the cost (and I already have an idea on who I would like) then it should be fairly simple. but nothing is going to be easy, but I'm ready for the commitment.
Soon after I relaxed with some more language earning. I knew I wasn't going to have time when I came back as it would be very late and I needed to be up early the next morning. But in 15 minutes I managed to complete all of my daily goals, and that was all I was aiming for. As Sara Beth would say, "Your Daily practice is your strongest practice" which is something I need to implement more in my acting life.
After tucking into my second meal and watching the first half of Hollyoaks, I then went to the cinema with my dad to watch Oppenheimer.
I was abit hesitant at first, as I saw a man being treated by the ambulance. But I didn't let that ruin a lovely evening. And of course I had to have a tango ice blast and some popcorn, as it's my go to cinema snacks. I was also craving a slushy of some kind, so I'm glad I finally got one.
I never really understood the story of this real life person, but my dad explained it to me, which was essentially someone who made a nuclear bomb to fight in the war. I won't give too much away (as it took me a while to work out the general plot myself), but lets just say there was also some moments that I weren't expecting. And I was surprised that I didn't fall asleep during it, but it made me feel so relaxed after a stressful day. So it was a night out worth going. And after ringing work to let them know I'll be coming in tomorrow, I think I would be okay this weekend coming.
Saturday: As usual Saturdays were my early morning shift. I was surprised I didn't feel too weary when I got up, as I came home late from watching Oppenheimer, which was absolutely fantastic! Cillian Murphy is already a legend as he is, and seeing him portray a real life physician was something special. Before I went to work I enjoyed watching Serengeti. I rarely get the chance to watch anything on the animal channel, as my dog would keep barking at them. But this was one of those rare moments and I love what animals can do for your soul.
Work itself was actually okay. I got through my shift and managed to speak to one of the managers about what's happened and why I felt the way I did. Thankfully she was very understanding, and vowed to give me all the help I can get. I was still hesitant abit the support out there, but she knew that she wasn't going to force me to to anything I didn't want to do. And after watching an important video at work, I feel that this would change everything.
After a lovely nap after my shift, I had my lunch and watched the rest of Wednesdays Hollyoaks. Although lunch wasn't the best, and not because of the food. I admittedly to snapping at my dads friend earlier on the way back and also lashed out of my sister. But this was all the spare in the moment, and with the past few days not being great, it all got too much. I won't say what we was disagreeing about as it was all just a petty heat in the moment. But the thing to remember is that it is normal. And at some point it will happen to every family unit. I think my dad and sister knew deep down it was not like me, but they made it clear not to be like that again. And whilst I can't promise that it won't happen again (as I will have moments where I say or do things without thinking), I make sure I take what he said into consideration.
This afternoon as usual was my Self-care Saturdays. Even though I had my self-tape to film tomorrow, with the past few days I've had I didn't want to overwhelm myself. But I knew my lines, and as long as I know my given circumstances, objectives, and the who, what, where, when, why and how, I'll be okay. I got to work by revisiting two of my short stories and tweaked them slightly. One where I added/changed bits of dialogue and the other where I made sure that it was all in the 1st person. It felt so good to be writing them again, and with my growing bond with the BGT finalist being the inspiration for one of them, I'm now determined more than ever to complete it and publish it.
I then started a new read, which was Stephen Hawkins new book Brief Answers to the Big Questions. For me I’m still understanding physics, but I’m all about the life story and how you can overcome adversity when it hits you in the face. And Stephen Hawkins is a fine example, as after his diagnosis with Motor Neuron disease, he lived a long (which is extremely rare as this condition can gradually kill a persons within 2-3 years) fulfilling life, leaving a legacy that is still relevant today.
I then started to plan my week. I wasn’t sure what days I would do what (as with the audition and a photo for the Newark Advertiser coming up, I can’t be 2 steps forward and one step back straight away). Never the less I got down everything I needed to do on paper, so at least I d didn’t have to get overwhelmed on what I needed to do.
I then took some photos of my sister before she went out for her friends birthday. After being snappy with her earlier that day, I assume she has forgiven me. She never mentioned anything about what happened so my dues sis she’s brushed it under the carpet and quite frankly so have I. After posting my Heartstopper review (tagging the cast members in their socials as I do), it followed by taking my dog for a nice walk and having a nice hot shower. So relaxing after the past few days I’ve had.
I then watched the first hour of I Used to Be Famous. And I’m glad I did watch it. So far I’m up to the part where things get chaotic at Vinnie D and Stevie’s (the autistic main character) gig. I loved how despite this (as I know even though I’ve not watched the whole film there’s bound to be a happy ending) he proved to his mum who used to be a dancer and is weary of his sons condition, you can do anything you put your mind to. I also admired how music is his way to help relax and calm himself, just like me. All I can say is I can’t wait to watch the rest of the film, and get in to cub work the casting director in the hope of getting the actor who played Stevie on his experience with autism and how he played an essential role in the film.
I then watched the first half of Thursdays Hollyoaks and Celebrity Masterchef, where it was the start of the semi finals. All I can say to avoid spoilers, it was chaotic but thoroughly entertaining. But I then also realised I lost my headphones. I couldn’t find them anywhere and then I came to the realisation I left them at work. So I decided to just relax, not think about it and start again in the morning.
I then ended the day with checking my socials as always and then learnt some more Korean. I knew I was t going to make it up another league, but I still kept the consistency. And that’s why I try and do with lessons on Duolingo, because as mentioned before by Sara Beth yoga, your daily practice is your strongest practice.
Sunday: I started the last day of the week with finishing episode 3 of Serengeti. I think that despite my dad waking up to finding his car keys he lost (which he eventually found in the back of his friends car from yesterday lol), I've realised that this is the secret to get my day off to a good start, as when I came into work, despite not having all the hot food at breakfast, I felt much better than the past few days. I think also the fact as well that I kept making some more pantomime gags with a colleague who makes my day job bearable. And it was good to have a laugh whilst we work, as sometimes it's not necessarily the place of work that's enjoyable, its the people in it. And he was definitely one of them. He's more of the brother I never had.
After I got back from work, I then gathered some more day player roles and possible scenes with their time codes to transcribe for possible events like actor jam. I normally do this after lunch, but because it was nice weather outside, I thought the sooner I get it done the sooner I can go outside. I was also filming a self-tape that afternoon, so I thought at least 30 minutes of the sun is better than nothing.
The filming itself went really well. I knew which tape I wanted to send in, so I uploaded it as a private YouTube video ready to be sent tomorrow. They did have an in person audition, but because I may possibly have another audition for something bigger on that day or a photograph with Dan Churcher from the Newark Advertiser, I thought a self tape would be easier. And the director was more than happy to as yes she would've liked it if I was at the venue, but I felt she also understood that things happen and therefore we can't do everything.
I then started to fill in the agent form for my acceptance of the agent who I decided to take on. It wasn’t on my plan when thought I wrote it down one hits to do this week, it was actually relieving I did it. Although during the peaky blinders trip, I’ve been told that someone is trying to leave the agency. But I’m going into this with an open mind and giving them a chance. So I’ll send it off by the end of the week and see what this journey brings.
I then started to plan more of my week. I didn’t fill in what I was doing on Tuesday and Wednesday properly, so I simply made a list of things I could would likely do, so then when Dan comes back to me and I have a definite idea of if I’m attending the audition or not, I can slot in my tasks. At least then I have something to go off on those days.
I also talked to the BGT finalist, and we agreed to meet up and see what happens. Part of me doesn’t feel real, but having the chance to meet someone who is autistic and a creative is a rare opportunity. Yes distance may be a barrier, and with him having lots of bookings since bgt, he’s going to be a very busy boy indeed. However the great Ross Grant once told me, if I want something, I’ll find a way, if I don’t then I’ll find an excuse. This was not just for acting, but for scenarios like this. Even if things don’t go more than friends, meeting someone with that same mindset and same view of the world is an incredible opportunity. And someone who’s experienced the industry already and performing on the biggest tv show of all time is definitely something to not miss out on. So watch this space.
After doing some yoga and walking the dog as always, I tucked into my dinner whilst watching Hollyoaks and Celebrity Masterchef. I thoroughly enjoyed the most recent episodes, and with an upcoming storyline involving Dillon and Lucas, it’ll be interesting to see how it develops.
Before I went to bed I watched the rest of I Used To Be Famous. And Leo Long is a rising star in the making. As mentioned before when I give off reviews linking to stage a screen, I won’t give too much away. But all I can say is that this film can really show where your true loyalties lie, and that Autism is not a disability but a different ability. And I know Stevie’s mum may be hiding him back and therefore sacrificing her dreams to him first (which is admirably for a parent), letting him do his own thing and letting her reignite her passion changed everything. I’m glad about the ending, as Stevie got his chance to shine and Vince realises that success isn’t about making a name for yourself, but the people you meet will change your life forever. A perfect end to a what was a stressful/emotional week and would definitely recommend the film if anyone needs a movie to watch.
I then checked my social media as I learnt some more Korean, followed by posting my review of the recent Act On This podcast with Andrew Downbiggin. Not a full review but just as an indication to let everyone who’s following me on my socials know that I’ve listened to it and what I've learnt from it.
So what have I learnt this week? There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. And to surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you happy. And if they’re not with you during your worst, then they don’t deserve to be with you during your best.
See you soon for another blog. Until next time…
This is the autistic actress signing off :)
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