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A trip to the woods, pushing through barriers and learning to be vulnerable

Hello world! Welcome back to my blog. Here is a round of of my weekly highlights from 26th June-2nd July 2023:


Monday: as usual I went to work and hurriedly got some more stuff for cooking on Thursday. I then went to Nottingham slightly earlier than usual as I had to drop off a prop for a sharing one of the groups are doing, which is the same sharing that I’m doing on 4th July. So I had some time to kill, so I went for a nice cup of tea at a lovey café near the station. It was a beautiful place.

I then had a rehearsal for "Salad Days" and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much in all my life. And I also met someone from the workshop who I haven’t seen in a while, so it was a good catch up indeed. Then I got an email that would quite possibly change my life. I can’t say what it is but let’s just say if I do get it, it might be my first tv credit! But the thing that someone put me up for is a quick turnaround, so there may be trouble lurking from within. But I’ve decided to take one step at a time and then cross that bridge when/if I get the job.


Tuesday: Tuesday was a very busy day. I started by watching the rest of episode 3 of "Malpractice", and also had 4 slices of toast (as the brown bread loaf was tiny so I thought 4 small slices were the equivalent of 2 big ones), and then after walking my dog and going to the shops I did some yoga.

I also emailed a local dance class in my hometown about adult dance classes. This is something I was eager to get involved in as not only will it help me gain some movement footage for my Spotlight profile when I’m considered for things like Musical Theatre, but it’ll also help me relief some stress. As I’ve always wanted to dance, and I could've had that opportunity when I was younger, but due to life getting in the way and not understanding who I was at the time before fully discovering the word autism at 15, it was hard to get involved. But I always believe you’re never too old to start something new.

I also reached out to creatives for my project and also emailed many casting directors, some I’ve emailed before some I’m contacting for the first time, sending them my new showreel and what I’ve got coming up. I managed to get through lots of them during this, keeping tabs on who and when I emailed them.

Then I got one from the agent to go I I need to chat to before I make my final decision on who I want to be with. The email that he sent consisted of the script for the thing, so I got to my head going over the lines in my head.

Before and after I did that I managed to catch up on Waterloo Road. The storylines I feel are even better than last series' as it’s raising awareness for the arts and how it can help the younger generation express themselves.

Later on in the day I went to my acting class. This was the final rehearsal before the sharing the week after. We may not have ran the whole play but we ironed out a few things. Never the less, I'm confident in myself that I will do well. One thing that set me back was that I lost my sweep puppet I got for my 14th birthday. However, part of me was upset but there was another part of me that wasn't, as if it was an older version that would be different.

Wednesday: Today was a mixture of a hectic day and enjoyable day. To start with I filmed a submission for an opportunity in Nottingham, filming in august. Yes it’s not a paid job but I’ve heard really good things about the company and I may be able to expand my network. I also caught up on some more of an act on this podcast with Emma Sylvester.

The tougher part came where for some reason my laptop didn’t have mailtrack (which is a way to see if a casting director or creative has read my email or not). But in the end I decided to shut my laptop down and hope for the best.


That afternoon I was back in Nottingham to watch "Winnie the Pooh: The Musical" with my Nan. It was a beautiful show to watch, and only an hour long. And of course I had to get some merchandise. I was slightly conscious of my budget, as I'm also going to watch Blood Brothers very soon, so I decided to get three items which are seen below.

After the show I came home to watch some TV with a healthy chicken kebab. I then finished the rest of the Emma Sylvester Act On this podcast, and got going with editing my singing sketch, hoping to post it by Friday to end June on a high.

I then ended the day by learning Korean and French once again and reading a bit of the Epilogue of "Birdgirl". A relaxing way to end a chaotic day.


Thursday: Thursday was a hectic start. As usual after a decent night’s sleep (for once) I walked my dog before going to the gym. I was slightly late back despite getting up early after a decent nights sleep. Never the less I persevered. I then filmed a self-tape for what is going I mentioned the previous day. Now I’ll be honest, with Salad Says coming so close and also work (as I know sometimes sacrifices are made but life can hit us in many ways) I’m still not sure if I can even do one day. But I’m still keeping my fingers crossed my day job can work around it if I get it and who knows? This could change everything for me.

After my tape I then changed my bed and cooked Spaghetti Carbonara with my Nan and it looked yummy. I then posted my review of "A Town Called Malice" on my socials before having my lunch and getting ready for work. The TV wasn’t working due to an internet problem. In some ways I’m glad it has as it meant I was getting more time to get ready for work.

After work I managed to apply for some applications for some jobs on Spotlight, an open casting and updated my profile on the actors workshop talent page before getting an early night for once.


Friday: Friday was a tough day for me. I went into work as usual but because I’ve been on my time of the month since Wednesday, it all got abit much for me. After the picking was done it hasn’t been the easiest for me, so I took some time out in the quiet room, checking the world of social media, before I headed back down. I was slightly conscious as I had a rehearsal later on and I was back at work the next day for 6am, but sometimes you gotta push through as you know it’ll be worth it on the end. I managed to get through my shift and I then decided to have a wonder into town before I go to Nottingham.

I went into costa to have a strawberry lemonade and a cornflake cake, but the Wi-Fi was not great, as I was going to do some work and language learning but they required the internet.

And at Nottingham station I tried to learn some languages but it kept freezing, but I did manage to get it done, so at least it was one thing out of the way.

Moments after I went to rehearsals and had a blast. I'm glad I did go as not only did we recap two dance numbers, which were recorded to watch on the Facebook page, but it was a good laugh as well. As once again I firmly believed laughter is the best medicine.


Before I settled for my early morning shift I uploaded my sketch onto my socials, including YouTube. Please see the link here: https://youtu.be/3XnOMPh9ihU


Saturday: Saturday as usual was my Self Care Saturdays, now more than ever. As usual after work I managed to have a nap before I got to work on this blog, but not before I watched a bit of Celebrity Gogglebox. I then caught up on abit of Coronation Street with my dad and after typing up more of a short story, I've finally got to finishing reading "Birdgirl". An amazing book, written by a very inspirational young girl, fighting for all things climate change and diversity. If any of you reading this like books like that, I definitely recommend.

Later that evening, after planning my week (as normally I plan I on Sundays but because I was doing something very special that day, I had to plan it on this day), I also started watching new drama on ITV "Ruby Speaking". This features a woman in a call Centre trying to get away with the mishaps she causes. I wasn't too sure about the first episode at first, but because it's a new show I'm willing to give it a go. I then continued another one of my short stroes before catchign up on Hollyoaks and Gogglebox.


Sunday: I went on my very first wilderness retreat set up by The Actors Workshop Nottingham. It was very eye opening for me. We did all sorts of things like yoga, meditation, creative writing and reiki. The reiki was the most challenging exercise. For me whilst I try’s be keep an open mind for everything, this was something that’s still trying to get my head around. But with time, patience and learning, I’ll get there. Another challenging exercise but possibly one of my favourites was the creative writing. I’m all about writing what’s true, and in the setting like this, that’s where my most vulnerable side comes in. But what I wrote could be my best piece of work yet.

I was going to stay for some food afterwards, but after the day I had, after a quick drink, I decided to head home early, tuck myself into a nice Chinese and a white chocolate Malteser ice cream, whilst watching Coronation Street. A perfect way to end the perfect week.


So what have I learnt this week? Sometimes we have to climb over the walls to get to our destination. And it's okay to show vulnerability, as it can often lead to the best results.


See you next time for another blog, and until then...

This is the autistic actress singing off :)

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