Hello World! It's me again. Here is a round up of my weekly highlights from 5th-11th June 2023:
Monday: The first day where yes I felt tired to start with but it was also the first rehearsal where I felt relaxed. I also felt like I was able to be my true authentic self, but I’m certain it was the power of singing a soprano note last week. But I'm also the sort of person where I reserve myself at first but then once I get used to my surroundings, and know the people I'm working with are really lovely and want me to do well, then I can gradually let myself go.
Tuesday: Today felt good. I’ll be honest before class I did have a moment where I sat in silence. I’m not to sure what it was. Whether it was reflecting on things, having a moment to myself or even if there was something bad happening, I was living in the present.
I also have the habit of ease dropping on conversations. I listened to a guy who was going to "Download", a music festival, and he was actually speaking to someone from my hometown. There was a part of me that wanted to say hello and introduce myself, but one trait of Autism is struggling to communicate and socialise. I chickened out and let him carry on with his day. I couldn’t even say hello to the guy from my hometown. But then again this is the reality of living with autism.
Let me know honestly if you want me to do a post about communication and socialising and what you can do to help those like myself or anyone else affected by autism. As that scenario is not me being weird, this is me genuinely trying to socialise and “mask” my traits to fit it and try to be sociable, but in the end I raised the white flag.
I also had another wonderful session in my acting class, where we finished blocking for a play that my teacher wrote himself. Yes it’s not going to be perfect as we are in a workshop environment but we can’t be rubbish. I know this is challenging for me as not only do I have lines to learn for 4th July but I also I’ve my show at the end of July to come. But providing I schedule time to learn lines, but also take some some time to de-stress, which include yoga, watching tv and playing with my dog, I should be all good.
Wednesday: Again it was "Wellness Wednesdays". I started by doing legs at the gym which was definitely needed.
One of my many tasks was to catch up on a few Act On This podcasts. This one featured Krissi Bohn, who was in Coronation Street as a regular and had since appeared in many other shows, including BBC1s Doctors. In this podcast she talked about how when she quit the industry her life changed forever when she received that role. It was literally a true inspiration for me to never give up, as you don’t know what the world can give you.
Later on in the day I went out for tea with my grandparents, as they were away for my sisters birthday so they thought it would be nice to treaty’s for tea. And I’m glad they did. I had a Hunters chicken for my main and for dessert I had a millionaire cheesecake. I was a little bit anxious at first, fearing it might stimulate sensory overload, but it was the complete opposite. At least it wasn’t the weekend as it was quiet, which was also nice. All in all a nice meal with nice company. But during the chat, they mentioned about how travallers are violent, as my sister mentioned about her friends boyfriend being one of them. I said to them they shouldn't judge someone before they get to know them, as whilst they state that they are horrible, for me after learning the technique of The Lucid Body, I'm trying to be more open minded, and how if it is true, there may be some that are forced to do it as if they don't, they may be cast out themselves. It's abit like with the Nazis, some of them may not have even wanted to kill but if they didn't, they would be killed themselves.
Thursday: I started the day going to the gym as usual, which today was arms.
Then when I got back I changed my bad after 4 weeks. My Nan has been helping me becoming more independent, and changing the bed has been one of them. I’ve also been cooking what I thought was Hake but was in fact sole. Either way, fish was fish and it was still tasty. When I cook I tend to sway towards the healthier side, especially fish, as it’s a good source of protein
I also managed to email some Casting Directors, as in acting industry, getting noticed by these people is key for getting seen. Yes they may not give you a tv role on the back of the first email, but providing I be consistent, patient and emailing them regularly (so for me the minimum is 3 months) I know I’m on the right track to being seen regularly for roles they put out on Spotlight or social media.
I then had some time to relax before work, which was definitely needed.
during work, my line manager helped me get to grips with a new app and also helped me with my ticket subsidy for a show I went to see a few weeks ago. even though we did it, we couldn't be sure. so next week we needed to see it definitely gone through.
Friday: Friday was a long one for me and really tested my resilience. On Fridays I work 8:30pm-3:30pm at my day job. Except this time I went to a rehearsal for my show straight after. Normally Fridays are not suitable for me, but because it was getting closer to the show and after my National Youth Theatre tutor saying I get out what I put in, I felt as thought I owe it to myself to go. And I’m glad I did, as even though I may be tired I still had a good time, and I left the rehearsal room with a smile on my face.
Saturday: After I went to work Saturday was "Self-Care Saturdays". Todays self care Saturday included typing and updating this blog and planning out my short stories. I’ve always had a creative outlook and I planned out 2 stories. One is inspired by Travis George who was on Britain’s Got Talent, who’s a singer with a love for musical theatre like myself. The other is inspired by the IT problem at my day job, and how I also spotted products which were out of date. In some ways I’m glad these have happened as not only was it the only excitement I had since I started working there from September 2020, but it also gave me a newfound inspiration. Like with acting, adding an authentic part to a piece of material is vital as it’ll help you stand out from the crowd. Yes they are only planned but after looking at my busy schedule over the next few weeks, I'm glad I got something out. As with things like these, it's a marathon, not a sprint.
Sunday: Sunday was an interesting one. I had an okay shift at work, but then someone from my past came into the shop just as I left.
This was someone who asked me out but I turned down due to personal insecurities. But by the time I realised it was my insecurities getting in the way and not him, it was too late. He was taken. For that time I put the blame on him as I thought to myself “if I had said yes, would things turn out differently?” And I'd be lying if I said I still don’t like him in “that way”. But I learnt from past mistakes that I can’t force anything, and know that everything happens for a reason. If he is the man for me he will come to me but if not, I need to accept that, which is the most difficult pill to swallow. I then went to an evening rehearsal, and even though I only had an hour due to limited train services, it was still worth it as we ran through Act 2.
Lesson learnt throughout this week: whilst some things may not go away completely, it’s how you deal with them that makes you stronger.
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