Hello World! Welcome back to another blog. Here is what I got up to on the final week of 20th November 2023:
Monday: This first day of a new week didn’t get off to the best start, as I slept through my alarm once again. Thankfully my dad was on hand to make sure that I got to work on time while having my breakfast. Yes it would mean not watching the rest of Saturdays Strictly this morning but I knew I had to get to work. I was surprised by how well I handled it considering that when things change my brain gets discombobulated. But I knew how to work through it.
I then started my shift. During it I memorised some lines for a monologue in honour of the new hunger games film coming out. As much as I do want to see the prequel, with everything going on with my project and also belvoir castle work, I’m not sure if I’ll get the chance to see it. But that doesn’t mean I will watch it when it comes to screens. So fingers crossed.
I even managed to not down bullet points of a new monologue, which I drafted when I got back. This was about music therapy,and how for people’s on the spectrum like me or another who finds talking difficult, expressing yourself through singing, regardless if you’re bad or good, is better. Before I had a nap, I listened to a female version of a song I really love. I found two actually, but one had the female singing the alto cover of my second choice, so I had to work really hard on the song without a video of someone singing it to practice.
After having a nap I then took my dog for a walk. This was then follows by watching the rest of Strictly Come Dancing. Carlos’ face when he and Angela got the scores was just too much and I really couldn’t cope with it! Bless his heart! To kick off the afternoon I listened to another Act On This podcast (where I listened to the rest of it later on). This was about agents. Yes I do have one but I feel this session will help me to develop my relationship with my current one. and I got some useful tip, which was to just do it and don’t overthink it. Simple but so affective.
After starting to draft a couple of emails, I then did some yoga. This was then followed by developing my character profile for the livestream. After briefly catching up on the session and the homework, I feel like I made a decent start, as I can incorporate elements of myself into it (which will of course make the performances more authentic). I only did a little bit but for me that’s progress. As anything is better than nothing. As the evening drawed in, and after a few applications for some new day jobs, I walked my dog and watch episode 5 of Ghosts whilst I had my dinner. As I’m writing this I’ve now got one last episode of the final series. It’s a shame that it’s come to a close, but I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.
I then moved onto watching last nights I’m A Celebrity whilst I tucked into a Pudsey biscuit I bought a few days before. And there were some proper characters in there, including Nick Pickard who plays Tony Hutchinson in Hollyoaks. But after the first trial followed by spoilers of tonight’s trial (which I needed to catch up on) followed by tomorrow’s trial, I have a feeling of the unlocks celebrity who will be picked for most of them.
Whilst I was doing it I applied for some more jobs on Mandy, broke down a script from The Hunger Games from whilst I scheduled tomorrow. I knew that there were going to be moments where I was going to skip bits, so I thought now was the perfect timing. After buying a new pair of work shoes, I then ended the day with checking my socials and learning some more Korean and French.
Tuesday: To start off today I started to watch the start of Mondays I’m A Celeb. This was then followed by a leg session at the gym where I also saw my friend from china who hadn’t been to the gym for a while. He did say that he had family stuff to sort out, but it was good that he was now making time for himself again. As yes he knew that family came first but even he needed a break from parenting, to avoid the burnout.
On the way there and back I rehearsed my lines for The Hunger Games monologue and I also drafted out my post for when I upload my new showreel online. This monologue is very different for me, but I feel it’s good to mix it up, as Katniss is more or less my age and fights for what she believes in. And with my strong opinions and being able to play younger, I thought this was the perfect speech.
I then gradually for some jobs on Mandy and filmed my monologe from The Hunger Games. I got some decent takes in, but I’ll send them to some of my friends to see what they think, as then it can help me with my decision and if I need to re record it again. I also some impressions now that I’m a celeb is back on. Yes they need abit of work but I know I will get better through effort. This was then followed by updating my budgeting table (where I’m nearing the end of my budget) and had lunch whisky I watched more of I’m a celeb. All I can say that this was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while, but I dread to think how my tastebuds would react if I ate a cows anus.
To kick off the afternoon I looked at my review of The King and I blog. But because it took a while to upload the photos, I made a template of an email to casting directors, so that when I email them on Thursday, I have something there and change it to fit the casting directors I’m emailing.
I realised as well that the photo I had on my showreel is not the photo I wanted. So even though I did pay for the original edit I’m hoping that this minor tweak will let me off. But if not it’ll be fine as once I get some new footage I can simply add it in and change the photo then. Later on he said he did which was brilliant if him. To help detox for abit I posted my review of the long shadow and drafted out my posts for act on this and also for when I post my new showreel. This was then followed by a couple of surveys and then a chat with Steve Watson, all while I had a cuddle with Margo.
During this chat we did run into a potential problem as we may not have a producer. But if that’s the case it’s about how we deal with it. We then organised a zoom read through date and along with notes on the script someone in my group made it should be a good one. This was then followed by watching Coronation Street from 15th November. This had everything in it, from Amy getting arrested (which isn't ideal in her coping but I feel her pain of wanting to escape from what happened) and after audery made the decison to sell the salon, it definitely caused abit of contrversay. But she's getting to that age where maybe it was time to put down her siccors and think about her future.
This was then followed by walking the dog watching the final episode of Ghosts and another episode of Coronation Street from 17th December in between. Both of them were so beautiful to watch, as Ghosts literally had the perfect ending, and with the Christmas special yet to come, I can't wait to see how Mike and Alison make it perfect for their new addition to the family. Coronation Street was also brillaint, as Mason seemed to have caused trouble again (I hate the character but the actor Luca Toolan is doing a brilliant job at playing the troublemaker) and after Amy goes too far to get the justice she deserves, it's safe to say that she definitely has a wakeup call.
Shortly afterwards I gathered some day player roles and scenes from 2 episodes of Coronation Street and one episode of Hollyoaks. I know I’ve got a lot to catch up on but I’m hoping that within the hour tomorrow I’ll be up to date by a this week with Hollyoaks and doctors, and at least be up to date so I’m up to 13th November. I then watched the start of tonight’s in a celeb, where Nella found the pressure tough in that environment.
To wind down for the evening I then watched I’m A Celeb. I feel that after Nella’s trial, my guess would be that if she wasn’t ruled out on medical grounds, then I feel she would’ve been picked again. But I’m surprised by how tense it’s got already. Mind you, in the jungle the reality soon kicks in and then emotions do run high (which is most likely due to the lack of food they have).
To wind down for the evening I checked my socials again and did another brief session of Korean and french. In between those I noted some more jobs on Spotlight which I plan to nudge my agent on the next day. I knew it was late but the sooner I got it done the sooner my agent can see if what I’ve judged her for matches the roles I would like to go for. This was then finished off by posting my full review of The King and I onto my personal social media accounts, to show everyone my views of a Rodgers and Hammerstein classic. For a direct link to the review please see here: https://www.theautisticactress.com/post/the-king-and-i-getting-to-know-this-wonderful-show
Wednesday: To start with I watched Mondays addition of Doctors. I wouldn’t say that Lucas is being jealous and I can see he was only trying to be there for Scarlett, but she is right in saying that she can make her own decisions and if Suni does mess her around (which I hope he doesn’t), then she’ll be able to sort it out herself.
I then went to the gym. It was tough but I managed to stretch myself once again, which of course is brilliant. But the way there and back I also looked at my drafts for emails to creatives and also drafted one of my act on this posts to go on X formerly known as Twitter. With it being the final quarter, I need to make sure that those who I haven’t emailed yet or those that need a reply are to get notified ASAP as the more people we can get at the livestream the better.
When I got back, I nudged my agent on some more jobs on Spotlight, and drafted some emails and messages to casting directors, directors (which I managed to send a to a few) and other creatives. It was a long job indeed but I need that one final push before Christmas, espcially with the AW livestream which they can watch from the comfort of their own home. This was then followed by looking on the NYT website and got rid of some storage from my phone, where I noted some stuff down before I deleted them in the process.
During the day I got a email from my agent to get me to tape for a touring theatre company. This was a delight for me as it could mean my big break. But also with the deadline being 2 days I needed to get a move on fast. So I stopped what I was doing and looked at the requirements needed. It all seemed fairly simple as I know that some of stuff can be done in one take. But with the acting parts I would need to go into more depth in.
After having some lunch whilst I watched Gogglebox and the rest of I’m A Celeb, I did some final prep of my character for the livestream plus looking at my audition. It was all fiarly straght forward, and I was able to make some notes of what I was going to say for each point in both the introduction and the questions.
To help me wind down before class, I read more of "Snapdragon" (where it revealed some lovely and heartwarming moments) and learnt some more Korean and French. This was then followed by gathering some more day player roles/time codes of scenes suitable for me from most of the soaps. It took me longer than I thought, and I did run over slightly. But I'm more or less up to date with them, and not only that was an achivement for me, but it'll make me less overwhelmed for the next week.
After I had some tea, I was about to start my class. This was when Steve rang me about a certain issue that needed to be sorted. However we have come up with a plan on how to sort it once Steve has been to an event the next day, which was the main thing. I then had my acting class, where we were starting to get our devising piece together slowly but surely. After a “introduction” within the company, I’m starting to like how everything is taking shape. And with taking in elements of my own life in it, we are sure to end the year with a bang, and that by the new year when everything opens again, slowly but suely more opportunites will come of it.
To see off the evening I watched more of I’m A Celeb. I was surprised by Jamie Lynn’s trial as I thought she wouldn’t be able to handle it, but instead she smashed it. This was just as good as babatunde when he conquered his fear of heights after bailing out of the first trial. If that’s not redemption I don’t know what is.
I then ended the day with checking my socials and scheduling the next day which included working on my audition. I also scheduled Friday as well. Yes it may change but because I get back late on Thursday and up again on Friday, I thought it would save me time. Especially (unless they do give me an extension) since I need to send in my audition as soon as I get back. This was then surly followed by going through my audition pieces one more time (but quietly as I couldn’t wake up my family).
Thursday: To start off the day I watched Mondays addition of Hollyoaks. The game was finally up for Darren, after he finally admits he needs help after Ethan spots him with Norma. What a lovely heartwarming moment it was, as his family knows that they will do anything they can to help him. I'm also waiting for the moment when Warrens and Mercedes secret may be revealed, and that Dave may have gone about things thr wrong way, and it may cause him to loose his job.
I then as alwasy went to the gym, and I managed to stretch myself even more. It wasn;t perfect, but with time and practice I will get there. On the way there and back I rehearesed my audition material, as when its such a short deadline, that's all you can think about and must do, and especially for someone who's autistic like ymself, it can get abit wobbly. But I've dealt with it better, so when it comes to scenarios like this, I've learnt to take a breath, and depending on the time it gets in, plan to work on it the next day.
When I got back, I filmed the first bit of my audition, which was the introduction and the questions. It was all fairly simple, so I thought to get the easiest bits out of the way first. After cooking the tea for later in the evening, I then filmed the song of my audition. At one point the video decided to cut due to alot of storage, but thankfully I got a few takes of my original song choice (as I did do 2 as a backup) so that was ready to be sent off. I also got a message from my agent to say that the extention was fine, which was a relief, as then i can look into more depth of the acting pieces later on.
My final task of the mornign before was was emailing some more casting directors and directors showing them my new showreel, mentioning some shows for some and also mentionign my livestream, hoping that as they can watch it from the comfort of their own home they can watch it. This was a tiring job, as I had to make sure my change in headshot was the same and that I was wording evetyhting right. I made the decision to email the theatre Casting Directors next week, but I saved my draft so that I can record my singing video next week, therefore making it one less thing to do before I went back to it next week.
Shortly after that the oven cleaner came round (which he was supposed to be coming on Monday but after an incident he came today) and he did a good job. Now our oven is fresh, clean and tidy. Just in time for the festive season. Whilst I had lunch, I watched Tuesdays addition of Hollyoaks and the first part of Tuesdays addition of Doctors. For Hollyoaks, even though it nearly ended in a disaster, Dave may ahve learnt somethng from Mason, but yet at the end he's still not changed his ways, and I dread to think what happnes next when Felix tries to find Mercedes in the garage whilst she and Warren are doing something that they shouldn't do... For Doctors, I admired Kirsty for speaking up for the disbaled community whilst checking up on a blind patient, and that after Sid talks to his dad, he may finally have the wake up call he need to live his life. Although I think what Sid said came across differently to Tye (Sid's dad) so it'll be interesting to see how it pans out. And I have a feeling Zara may finally be making progress with how she's feeling afer the recent events with Daniel after a day at the gym.
Before I went to work I noted some jobs on spotlight to nudge my agent later on. I thought I'd made the most of me getting in early by doing this, and it also again gives me one less thing to do. Work itself and it went well, and even though thursdays is my least favourite shift, the people there is one of the only benefits. I even rehearsed my song for my acting page whilst I was doing it, and now that I had the tune and key in my head, repeating it is the best way to learn it.
As soon as I got back home, I watched the rest of Doctors whilst I had my tea. It seems I was right when Zara stated that she feels guilty on what happened between me and Daniel, and that this might be the start of her joruney to process whats happened, even if Emma did suffer the consequences. It also got intense after Kirsty discovers a shocking secret with a pateints friend, and it was appaling but the truth had to come out eventually.
I then ended the day with watching I’m A Celeb. I couldn’t wait for the appearance of new camp mates Frankie Detorri and Tony Bellew, and I was surprised by how quick Frankie is. Mind you he has been a jocky for years, so all that trainign seems to have paid off. But I do feel sorry for Tony, as I initally thought he would be brilliant in it, but I don’t think he’s realised what he’s let himself in for. But after hearing him on a podcast and knowing he is made of strong stuff, I’m eager to see how it develops especially now that the camp is divided.
To help wind down, I checked my socials as always and nudged a couple of jobs on Spotlight. This was while I started to set out my new monthly budgeting table, and with me still having to buy presents, I must make sure i spend my money carefully. But it looks like now the savings will have to come out if need be. All I can say is thank god for savings. I then of course learnt some more Korean and French and posted my Actor Jam review. it was late but I was just too eager to wait and I had to show the world of social media what a brilliant time at the event I had.
Friday: To kick off the last day of the week I budgeted my new table whilst watching the rest of I’m A Celeb from last night. It's still safe to say that Tony is way out of his depth, and hearing Frankie's story on is journey as a jockey is amazing, and how having fun can take less pressure off ypu. And that goes for anything in life, whether that's horse racing, acting or anything else you're passionte about. If you're not having fun, why are you here?
I then posted my reviews of some act on this podcasts and started work, which was a good one today. As usual I felt more tired towards the end of the shift (which I didn’t think the weather helped) but that didn’t stop me from working hard. I also managed to go through my lines for the audition and that I made the decision to film my self tapes after work when my dad goes out. Yes I do have an extension until Monday, but I thought that the sooner I get it done the better. And it also means I can take it easy at the weekends and work on my creative self care.
When I got back home, it was abit all over the place. I was going to film my tapes first but after a few distractions, I decided to apply for a few more day jobs first. This included a job whcih was only a 5 minute walk from my house. Yes it would mean a paycut if I did get it, but the amount of money I would save on transport would make a massive difference. The place is also smaller as well, meaning it would be less overwhelming for me, especially during the Christmas period. I then walked my dog and did some yoga as always.
Before I winded down I did my self tapes. I managed to get the taped I wanted, and even though it wasn;t my strongest, I'm glad it was out of the way. As perfection is the lowest standard you can achieve, and as my teacher would say, "Getting it done is better than getting it perfect". I then watched Wednesdays addition of Doctors. Despite Suni feeling sad abiut what he heard from Scarlett, they still managed to have a wonderful date, and even though Luca is still cautious, he needs to realise that yes even though he's lookign out for her, it's none of his business. I also admired the storyline with regards to Bear helping a granfather and grandson, and how he helped bring them back together after he learsn about his grandsons identity. To some it may not hurt anyeone, and even though I don't see myself as that identity, I always admired animal makeup and what it looks like on people, so much so that there is a part of me that wants to dress up and go full out. I think that's what I like about Halloween, as the makeup in particular looks so hypnotic and beautiful. But who knows? Time will tell I guess.
I then kicked off the evening with watching the first episode of Time series 2 whilst I had my tea. I’ll be honest before then I wasn’t really sure what to make of it at first, but I’m glad I watched the first episode, as a familiar face from the last series made a return and Faye Mckeever, who was in The Responder, made an appearance and had a different side to her. She played the role of Tanya and I definitely do not want to mess with her. I then moved onto watching Wednesdays addition of Hollyoaks. Even though I do feel sorry for Yazz, I really hope that everyone is there for her and she can talk about how she really feels. I also wonder what Warren is feeling, as I’m not sure the threat he made was out of jealousy or if he’s genuinely concerned about felix. Either way I’m eager to see how it all unfolds.
After printing something for my sister (which took a while but I got there), I then of course ended the day with checking my socials and learning some more Korean and french. I’ve now completed unit 6 of Korean (with the help of Margo as you can see) as I’m writing this and completed my daily goals, but just missed out on completing unit 6 of French. But I’m proud of myself for this achievement and I know I’m going to smash it again tomorrow.
Saturday: Before I went to work I watched the rest of Time. What an ending to episode 1 and I can’t wait to see how the next few episodes pan out. I then of course went to work. And as always there was less picking to be done. But when it came to facing up one of my colleagues made sure I was in my own space which was good for me, as then it was less overwhelming for me. But all in all it was a good shift, and in my new shoes as well which were very comfy.
After having a much needed nap, I then watched the majority of episode 4 of Sex Education. I'm so glad i managed to get back tp this series, and after I watch the rest later on I'll be half way through the series. I will miss the show when its over, but I know that something even more exciting will soon follow.
I then re-recorded my monologue from The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2. Even though I did it a few days ago, I realised I got a word wrong when I previously recorded it. With it being from a well-known film as well, one wrong word is not ideal. So I simply recorded it again and I surprisingly got a few takes in. I aim to post it the next day or on Monday to start the new week on a high. Soon afterwards and after tweaking my blog, I then started an application for a new job. The option was to work from home, which would be great for me as then it would save me money on travel, but the role they wanted was something I never did before. But it’s linking to creating content, which as an actor you need to do. So I guess it has its benefits.
I then finished reading “Snapdragon”. What a beautiful piece of art it was, as it showed that sometimes being different is okay, and how you can harness the negative thoughts in your past into a positive. I do hope that there’s another volume soon though as this was definitely a good read, especially with the topic of transgender and having the bravery to express yourself.
Shortly afterwards I scheduled tomorrow whilst I listened to more of an Act On This broadcast, which was then followed by learning some more Korean and French. As I’m writing this I’ve now finished unit 6 of French and I’m now onto section 2 of the language of love. But I won’t go onto it until I complete the whole of section 1 of Korean. And with Squid Game: The challenge now out, I felt that this couldn’t have come at a more perfect timing.
To kick off the evening, I walked my dog and watched I’m A Celeb from last night whisky doing a few surveys. Despite Nella’s blip in the trial, she and her team managed to win an all important challenge. After the results were announced, it’s safe to say that Tony Bellew was not happy by it at all. And I’m sure he’s a nice person but after seeing his reaction… I felt intimidated. Do not mess with Tony.
Whilst I had my dinner I watched the first part of Strictly Come Dancing. I was a little bit disappointed with Layton and Nikita but they still did a good job. But it just goes to show that Jo matter how much experience you have every detail counts. I’m sure they’ll get through to musicals week though, as then Layton can show them what they can do.
This then moved onto watching Thursdays addition of Hollyoaks. Following the spoilers, I think that this could possibly be the end for Tom and Yazz, and with another bombshell for Mercedes, I the secret could be drawing in closet and closer. I then rounded off the evening with watching Gogglebox, where one of the shows they reacted to was Squid Game: The Challenge. This was definitely on my watch list, but it’ll have to wait until the Christmas period with all the stuff I’ve got on like my film, livestream and some upfront work at Belvoir castle having to take main priority. I then of course ended the day with checking my socials and having a nice cuddle with my dog.
Sunday: To start the last day of the week I watched more of Saturdays Strictly Come Dancing. I was up earlier than usual and wasn’t able to get back to sleep so I needed to watch this show just to get my energy levels up. And I think it did the trick. I then went to work, where once again the picking was done early, therefore I had to face up. This was down one isle for the rest of the shift, but it was an isle where you had to be quite careful as it was linking to jars and glass bottles, so all the more reason to be careful.
After work I made my way to the Christmas market, to start my Christmas shopping and got some delicious treats for me and my dad (but mostly me. Lol). I knew I would spend a few money, but I know that life shouldn’t be taken too seriously, and that every once in a while I deserve a little treat or 2. And did I regret it? No I did not.
During my lunch I watched the rest of Gogglebox from the previous night, where they reacted to The Crown and knowing the heartbreaking moment with regards to Diane was coming. This was whilst I had my lunch and some doughnuts from the market.
To start the afternoon, I gathered some more day player roles and scenes from the soaps whilst applying for some jobs on Mandy before my membership expires tomorrow. Although I had to do more later on as I had to take a break to avoid technologuy overload. But I managed to get it all done. This was then followed by reading through my script and making notes in between. I really got stuck into it and went into the state of flow, and before I knew it I was making notes left right and centre. This just shows how much this porject means to me, and how I want this script to be bought to life.
I then rounded off the evening by sending my self tape to my agent (where it took a while but I did it, and I got a lovely message from her afterwards), and then I brain dumped everyhting for next week and listened to the rest of an Act On This broadcast from 13th November. This was then followed by tidying up my room, which wasn't planned, but I knew I had some time to kill before I did my yoga, so I simply got rid of what I didn't need and moved some stuff to different areas, like moving cooking stuff to the cupboards and my books into one draw. This definitely leared my mind, and with a relaxing yoga session to follow on from that, I atually shedded a tear or two. I guess this must be the sense of releif that I have everyhting sorted for the new week ahead.
I then moved onto watching nearly a weeks worth of Coronation Street whilst tucking into a delicious takeaway roast. Whilst I was watching it I did feel sorry for any, as I know she willed aadi, but after everything that’s happened I can see why Aadi did what he did. But I have a feeling that Christmas will help them realise that they’re made for each other. This was then followed by moving onto Fridays addition of Hollyoaks, where I do not like Camilla one bit. Just to be clear it’s got nothing to do with her status, but the fact that her attitude is appalling to see. But after seeing some recent spoilers it might change everything.
During the evening I got a message from Steve to ask about doing the read through tomorrow. I was unsure at first but after asking in the chat it looks like that we are going to go through with it. I also got the message from one of the writers in my group about 2 scenes he wrote in the film. I’ll admit they had a talent for writing, but the fact that there was a lot to take in followed by that unexpected change took its toll on me. But I think that’s also a mixture of being tired as well, and that definitely didn’t help. But I also remembered that it’s normal, and that it’s part of the process. But you know what they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. So as long as I get a good nights sleep, rest during the day (but do some minor things before the read through) and eat well then it should be hunky dory.
I then ended the day with checking my socials and learning some more languages. I didn’t get up to date with my all of them socials as I knew I needed to be up early in the morning. and the same with my language lesson, as even though I’m slacking on the scoring board I knew my health had to come first and without it I had nothing.
What have I learnt this week?
Knock backs/unexpected change for me are more challenging. But I’ve learnt to deal with it in my own way. And as long as I had that then I should be okay.
See you soon for another blog. Until next time...
This is The Autistic Actress signing off :)
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